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Issue 83

Apr 21, 2007

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>> Top Stories
Ci-villian Unrest?!

Urbanville's Villain Community

If you head over to the Villain’s community grounds in the forum area you will find it very tense. The villains are very active and upset over The Masked Editors comments in the editor’s latest opinion piece.

The Family, and their subordinate group the League of Shadows, has vowed to hunt down and de-mask the editor before all is said and done. And by the way one Villain is talking he means business. Sacred Apollyon has taken the initiative and set the plan to action. Calling for all members of the LOS and The Family to find the editor and bring him to justice. Yet this is not the only battle that awaits the two groups.

Could there be a civil conflict insight among Villains? Cold Blooded a Villain not associated with the LOS or Family could be striving for it. In an open topic in the Villain’s forum he states you do not need to part of the family or LOS to "keep it real." Family members responded saying they would not accept him anyway. Bad blood is beginning to boil and inner conflict among the Urbanville Villain population could be at hand.

This could have ramifications city wide.
RM reporting

Urbaniac of the Day or just a simple Urbaniac...

You go back online after a good sleep and what do you see? Somewhere on the middle of the front page there are these curtains which open up to reveal a stage, and guess what, on that stage was my character. At first I said to myself "Oh yeah, Urbaniac of the Day, no need to make such a big deal about this,” but hey, the stage was calling for me. First I decided that I needed a new look, so I went to the cloakroom to change.

Hmm...I had no idea what to wear on that stage, I never had put my foot in there before. Oh and there were so many possibilities! I finally choose the funky look: a mask on my face to cover my smile, a brand new shirt, a shield to protect me from the sunlight or rain (what? it can happen in Urbanville too). I also wanted some new shoes but the girls in Urbanville don’t have much to choose from (hmm...only 4 pairs of shoes for most of the girls, that's outrageous, the boys have so many possibilities). So there I was, all new and shiny, but I needed someone at my side.

My gato was mewing, and purring, and growling at me. I said to him "yeah, yeah... go play with that new robo-pooch, you defended me in too many battles, consider it your day off.” I looked around my crib and saw my new wormie, who was too afraid to come out from under the couch. It occurred to me that everyone will fear the mighty worm! He may be lean, he may be mean, he may be... well without arms, but that doesn't stop him from sticking his tail at anyone who will try to attack me.
So, there I was ready for the stage and the stage ready to welcome me. Right when I set foot on those steps, someone has hit the spotlights (I suspect Affy was behind those buttons, or maybe Lovely).

Normally I don’t like stages or bragging, but that stage was different. I felt the vibes, I also noticed the scared look on wormie's face who looked down then up at me. He repeated this several times(I wonder how he does that without getting dizzy or why his eyes don't roll 360 degrees). I smiled at him and asked him to keep calm for the rest of the day.
Hours passed and while on that stage people were sending me congratulations notes. My dearest homies gave me a lot of hugs, oh they were so kind (I wanted to hug them all but my arms were too small to hug them all at the same time :D). I was amazed at all their urbograms. I didn't expected to be the Urbaniac of the Day and for it to feel as good as it did. Mad props goes to all off you (12) who took the time and write down a few words. I appreciate that and have mad respect for all of you.
I had no idea how it feels to be famous for one day, but now I know and let me tell you: that stage makes an Urbaniac feel proud! For all those who will step on that stage: ENJOY IT while it lasts.

T-Shirt Design Contest...WHAT?

It's your boy Scoop here and I've got some niz-ews to share!

The Big Man himself has announced a T-Shirt Contest for all you talented folks to participate in! He wants y'all to design a t-shirt that incorporates "" and at least one of our characters.

That sounds doable right? Handsome just told me to let you all know that he's doable too. Back to the topic, most will have their shirts available to all users through one of the Urbaniacs shops but the winning designer will get their very own shirt for FREE, compliments of Urbaniacs (and a few other special perks). I heard one of the perks might be getting your shirt viewed in a movie. Say what?! That's right, your joint will be in a MOVIE! I'm dressing up as JenQ and going over to the Mayor's office to find out about the other special perks. I hope the brutha doesn't get fresh, that's a whole lotta wrong there!

Send all submissions to [email protected]

Now I'm gonna drop the rules! You pickin' up what I'm droppin? You'd better or you could get disqualified!


1. The t-shirt can only be one sided (no front and back images).

2. Go here for help with dimensions and suggested dpi:

3. Send in your designs by next Friday 4-27-07.

4. You don't have to design the whole shirt, just a piece of art that goes onto a shirt.

Yo, why you still sitting there? Think of all the props you'd get! Callin' up your moms, telling her about the contest, her screaming and cryin' cuz her baby is doin' thangs.

Besides, your boy Scoop here needs a new shirt!

Go handle your bidness!

This is Scoop_McFanny saying:

If it's news and it's hot you can expect me to beat the others to the punch...AIGHT?!

>> Business
Los &The Family

Us littler minions of the LOS are getting stronger and more powerful by the second. Some one has stated that the Family is falling apart, but we are actually growing, just secretively, invisible to the Urbaniac’s eye. Just because those people can’t see us, does not mean we are not there. We are training harder, recruiting and training more vigorously and scheming dark thoughts of the unknown. We are not falling apart, but rather going about our ways more to ourselves. Us Villains do not need to flaunt show off, we know we are great and powerful. Us Villains are keeping everything to ourselves, because we don’t want them zeros keeping tabs on us, them Vigis copying us, or them Beatniks thinking that we are strong, they might change their peaceful hippie ways and fight. How scary.

Newsflash people, us Villains are gonna come back with a huge SLAM, we are going to come up with something amazing that will hit you smack dab in the face and all you Urbaniacs are just gonna stand there with your jaws hanging and saying, "WHOA.” And don’t try to figure out what we are doing, don’t even try to spy or copy, because yours will never be as good as ours. We are the original Villains, our thoughts and ideas are ours. You may be able to snag a few details, but we are, in the words of Soul Corrupter, "Often imitated but never duplicated".

Thanks you,
LOS Leader. <3

>> Editorials
Chronicle Article

Mr. Masked Editor Dude,

Why are you talking trash about The Family? You said that we don't do anything; we MUST be doing something right for you to be talking about us. And, who are you to say that The Family doesn't do anything? We scheme secretly because as you read in the last Chronicle, there are hero spies everywhere. Just because we do not let every single piece of noob into our group like the H.A; does not mean we aren’t doing anything. As a matter of fact, YOU aren’t doing anything. You snoop like a high school nerd searching for a article for the school newspaper. You made up a story in your little fantasizing mind and then you spend all day and night writing the article. Don’t you have a life, a wife, a girlfriend, and friends???

Dude, and also, what is up with being masked, too chicken butt to show your face, scared the family might get ya, scared Affy might claw ya up a lil for talking smack bout her? Huh? Why so secretive, my pet peeve? So, if you got something to say Mr. Masked Editor Dude, then get your facts straight and your story untwisted...'cause no one believes that trash...

Yours beloved,
Representative of the LOS/FAMILY :)

The Return of the Puncher files

That's right the puncher files are back, & with a Vengeance. This time I'm going to focus on our Mayor. Ira B. DaMan.
Name:Ira B DaMan
Gender: Male
Known Identities :Mayor DaMan; DaMan; Ira; Da Mayor.
Powers: Winning Smile
Weaknesses: None, that I know of.

Well, What's there to say about DaMan? He is DaMan, He is the Mayor. Along with JenQ & Synjen (...They both have Jen in their name. Huh?) he is apart of the Big Three. DaMan & Synjen founded Urbanville & we've been enjoying it ever since. His main power is "The Winning Smile", (which isn't as great as mine, but hey what can you do?) Which has enough power to scare away Goatfist, or at least stun him. DaMan Works very hard making this place better for us, so I can't really bad mouth him, I mean I could but I like being Puncherjoe. Although little is known about his history, his unprecedented leadership of Urbanville has brought him the loyalty of hundreds of Heroes in all of Urbanville.His Arch-foe is Goatfist & he is always seen with his signature shades. Well this is the return of the puncher files & I'd like to see what The Masked Editor has to say about this (Traslation: Bring it)

Vigilante's - Reply to The_Masked_Editor

I don’t know about everyone else, but I found the Masked Editors ramblings this week funny. Unfortunately he doesn’t know what hes talking about when it comes to Vigi’s, but that’s no surprise. I mean what would someone who hides behind his mask throwing diss articles at all the dispositions and then hiding for another week know about standing up for himself?

Sure, we may not have any exceptionally high lvl’s yet, but a bunch of freshman Vigi’s is still able to Organize their disposition and keep it fresh and funky better then all you “Veterans” seem to be able to (with 1 or 2 urbs the exception). And whats the deal? We don’t matter? Good one mate, we don’t matter to you cause we don’t waste time on cowards with masks. If we want to matter to someone, well matter to them.

I did agree with something you said though, Diddoe is Darn Cool. I think u may have misspelled it (hey, I aint no proof writer myself) but I got the gist of it. He managed to bring together all the vigi spirited urbs together to form one Funky Disposition! Good for him, what have u ever done? * Crickets Chirp * That’s what I thought. Useless.

Anyway, I could go on all day, but I'm a busy man and your not worth my time. Just like to clear up one of your sentences, “If Urbanville were to erupt into a riot, I bet you’d find the Vigilantes hovering in a basement holding each other and saying, “When this is all over we will go out, that is if we survive. I’m scared!” That’s just straight up wrong. You’d find the Vigi’s in the middle of the road with a big smile on there face and an Urbo-Saber in each hand taunting everyone ready to smack your lights out.

Cause to me, Being a vigi isn’t about good/evil, being the best, or having the most friends. Its About Destroying My Enemies! Surviving is just a bonus.

What's the Deal?! By Preston B. Werewolf

Dear Mayor_DaMan,

So, yo, one day Princess and I were walking through Urbanville's Hall of Records, right. Well more like Princess, Penelope, Prescott, I don't have time to name all of them! Let's just say the sidekicks of my Chica, Affy, and Slimthugga's sidekicks were with us!

Any ways, while lookin' through that stupid Hall I noticed something:

Where da wereboys at?!

Where da shwolfs at?!

Gatos have records, Twinvisibles have records, Kid Coverts AND Nadias have records, but Wereboys and Shwolfs do NOT have records!

On the real, who do I need to holler at? This ain't right! Princess and I were in Urbanville waaaaaaay before the invisible sidekicks!

I thought we had somethin' Mayor! I thought we were chill! I didn't say nuffin' when one of your milkshakes caused me food poisoning!

How you gonna play me like that Mayor?! Can a hairy brotha get his people represented in the Hall of Records? Can my girl get the same? You know, we would like to see our names up in there! Have something to feel proud about.

Hook a hairy brotha up! I'm sayin'!


Preston B. Wereboy