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Issue 78

Mar 18, 2007

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
New Changes In Urbanville?

Psst! It's Scoop here with some interesting news that I got while hanging out at the Mayor's office listening at his door, I mean, picking up a piece of paper that fell out of my pocket.

I overhead DaMan and Synjen talking. Well Synjen was typing, I guess that he doesn't have time to talk! Anyways, I heard that the Swap Meets are closer than ever! As I leaned in, they began to talk about some "Top Secret" things that were coming to the town of Urbanville!

I wish I could tell you more, but before I could hear anything, I was "escorted" out of the City Hall. I swear that Surfer_Chick is stronger than she looks!

I WILL be back with more information soon! Scoop has found himself a new job washing windows. Guess where I'm washing them? City Hall...Who's da man!

I'll keep you all posted and remember:

This is Scoop_McFanny saying:

If it's news and it's hot you can expect me to beat the others to the punch!
The Case of the Missing Lairs!

Have you ever come home to your lair to find it... empty? A blank slate? Someone didn't just rifle through your words, they erased them all!

That story you wrote on your lair and only your lair, keeping no back-ups anywhere... GONE!

That cool survey with all those awesome choices that you no longer remember... GONE!

The trivia that listed every detail about yourself, that you spent so much time getting in the right order... GONE!

No, it was not Sir_Rabbit in the Gallery with the Nut Slinger!

It may interest you to discover that there is a little known employee at City Hall who handles dispositions. When you modify your disposition in the privacy of your own lair, it sends an electronic signal up to City Hall to file the change. That's when Eri Racer gets a hold of it and sends an electronic signal back to your lair that... erases it! I caught up with her at City Hall recently.

Love: So Eri, what's the deal? Why are you erasing people's lairs?

E. Racer: That's Ms. Racer to you! I declined an interview, what are you doing here?

Love: I'm not leaving until you answer some questions. And when you leave for the day, I'll go through your computer files.

E. Racer: (Glares) Fine. The fact of the matter is that a person sets up their lair as a hero, villain, beatnik, nomad or undecided. If they've changed so much that they need to file a change of disposition with City Hall... well then they must need to redo their lair as well, and I give them a head start by clearing it out for them.

Love: So you're doing them a favor?

E. Racer: Precisely.

Love: Well... people would really rather you didn't do that. I have a petition here...

E. Racer: Oh who cares?! I'm in charge of dispositions, and I'll do my job as I please!

Love: Can I see a copy of your job description? I mean, I really don't think lair deletion is in there.

E. Racer: (Glares) You can fill out this form in triplicate to request that document, then go down the hall to pay the cashier 200 urbos, then wait 10-14 weeks for it to arrive by mail.

Love: So, what would it take to get you to stop deleting...

E. Racer: Until the mayor comes down to my office and tells me to do otherwise...

Love: Ok, ok. I understand, you're just trying to be helpful. Well actually, I think you enjoy torturing people. Do you realize some Urbaniacs have had to compose their lairs three or four times?

E. Race: Well that's what happens when you fiddle faddle around. I don't like wafflers. Know thyself, I say! And to thine own self be true!

Love: Oh goodness! With you in City Hall, who needs villains?

E. Race: You're Love_Child, right? Let me pull up your lair...

Love: Oops! I have some copying and pasting to do... backups and all that... gotta run!

Well as you can see, this woman is crazy and must be stopped, though I'm not sure what can be done, or when. Let me just say... save copies of your information! And even when Ms. Racer is overthrown from her evil rule over dispositions, it's always a good idea to make a back-up copy of any information you want to keep.

The DudeMan Junior story

DudeMan Junior, Born late January 2006
Super Powers (Known): Super speed. UberStank. Boogie Finger.
History: Little is known about this Super Prodigy, Son of DudeMan, and his initial Funk powers. DMJunior first displayed his gifts after only 2 weeks, a lucky photo was taken as his super speed was displayed, leaving a blur that, after much examination, was deemed to be DMJ.

Around a month later, he made his father dance the Funky Monkey by shooting a finger at him. DM is a master of the funk, which leads us to believe that DMJ's Boogie finger level must be in the 900-1100 range. A boogie finger of this magnitude, at this age, could, if not handled properly, may destroy not only the city, but the country!
His Uberstank has only been used once. That we are aware of. It didn't manage to flatten DM, but did make him reel back.
Rough estimate of Uberstank level : 200-300
More information will be posted as it comes to hand.

U.I.A (Urbanville Information Agency)

The Return of Rockers United!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, you heard me right. With my recent return to Urbanville (check my lair for more info) I have begun my crew, Rockers United, once again!!!! I am still working on the details, but I will post them in the crew's forum once they are worked out.

Keep rockin'!

>> Editorials
Ms. Chic if You're Crabby

Recently, someone said something to me that was hilarious! She said, "Everyone has you pegged as this wicked, ego- maniac, hell-bent on becoming the next mayor. But what I see is a true Hero."

Well to answer some of those negative beliefs about me, I'm going to allow myself to be interviewed. The only problem is, I needed someone who understood me fully, who knew this Kitty inside and out. Then it hit me! So here is the interview between me and the woman behind the Kitty, Maxine.

Maxine: *smiles* Hey Urbanville, how's it hanging? This is Maxine, the Chica behind the Sassy Jungle Kitty. Let's just say that Affy and I are quite similar, but in the real world, I'm much more laid back. Most likely because I don't have an arch-nemesis or Villains jumping at me. Though, we do have the same Hero complex issues.

Affy: Uhm, diva? The spotlight is on me here.

Maxine: Oh my bad Affy. *clears throat and looks serious* So, Ms. Chic, how do you feel when folks believe that you are a wicked, ego- maniac, hell-bent on becoming the next mayor?

Affy: Honestly I say that those folks don't know me at all. Sure, I'm a Kitty and sure this Kitty packs a power verbal and physical punch but for those who get to know me, they will see that I'm cool, but I'm not going to sweat them. If they don't want to know, it's their loss!

Maxine: Hmmm...So, why do you think that they say those things about you?

Affy: I'm VERY truthful. I also don't walk around like I need friends in Urbanville. Some folks also have problems with you if you are confident about yourself, but it's not like I go around saying, "Hey I'm great and you suck because you aren't me!" Also, my sarcasm can be quite biting when I want it to be. Not to mention the things I say in the trash talking threads. Those who I don't play with think I'm being serious, while those who I play with are propping me and I them.

Maxine: You mentioned being truthful. Why do you think people have a problem with that?

Affy: *stands up and pulls an egg out of her back pocket* See that wall?

Maxine: Yup?

Affy: Well pretend that wall is someone's ego. This egg represents the truth. *throws the egg at the wall and chuckles as the splatters and drips down to the floor*

Maxine: *gives Affy a weird look* You could have easily expressed that with words, why didn't you?

Affy: I just really wanted to throw an egg at a wall.

Maxine: Okay. So anyways...*shakes head and looks back at the wall with the egg on it* What's the deal with your flirting?

Affy: I like to flirt. That's just me. I'm not doing anything dirty but some folks would love to think that I am and that's why I get attention from da fellas. *rolls her eyes* Whatev!

Maxine: Hmmm...True, flirting is very awesome. What is the message that you want folks to understand about you?

Affy: That I'm just a regular person with kitty claws and a hardcore scratch. Also, if they don't like me, it's okay...They ARE allowed. But understand that it's okay for me to shrug my shoulders and say, "Okay I know that you don't like me what am I supposed to do now?"

Maxine: Wow Affy, if I didn't know you well, I would say you were being cocky there. Also, you just left yourself open for a few not so nice remarks with that last question.

Affy: But you do know me and that's all that matters. Those who know me love me and I them. Yea I know I left myself open, but it's not like you'll take that shot, it's too easy for you!

Maxine: Darn you, got me there! So if you aren't what some folks in Urbanville say you are, then what are you?

Affy: I'm just Affy. Mother to Surfey and Breaker. Hero Fo' Life! Beatnik extraordinaire! I'm just me! And I'm cool with that! The problem is folks don't want to ask a sistah what's going on behind the scenes, they would rather point fingers. Well I got a finger for them too you know.

Maxine: Whoa...Keep that finger to yourself! So what are some of the things you do in this town that would make folks view you differently?

Affy: What I do in this town is my business. No one needs to know that information. You're a non-conformist Maxine, you know they would try to label me and I'm not okay with that. Besides, why try to change their perception?

Maxine: Ah, good point. Besides, it's not like you could even if you tried. So Affy, if you could say one thing to the town of Urbanville what would it be?

Affy: Just one thing?

Maxine: That was my question.

Affy: Can't it be 2 things? *pouts*

Maxine: *sighs* Fine, if you could say TWO things to the town of Urbanville, what would it be?

Affy: Like Maxine here I don't really go looking for trouble, unless I'm being playful, but I won't necessarily back down from anyone either. So if you bring it to me, expect that I will slam it back in your face. In addition, if you don't like me or what I do, you can kiss mah sunshine! Finally, drop me an urbogram to ask me about something! Doing it in the forums will only make things get uglier. I've had folks write me and we were able to work things out amicably. For those who don't...Well I haven't seen them on the site in a while.

Maxine: *dryly* That's three things. Where did you get kiss mah sunshine from? That's SO silly!

Affy: *smirks* So is Sheesh.

Maxine: Ouch.

Affy: I've got another egg, shall I show you how the truth hurts again?

Maxine: I'm all set. Most of the Family believes that you are the only person in the Hustle Alliance who stands up for it, is that true?

Affy: No. But if 1 person and sums up what everyone is thinking, why write something after that? If everyone jumped in and repeated what I said, then we would be...The Family. *giggles*

Maxine: So Affy, if the purpose of this article isn't to show folks that you aren't what they believe that you are, then why am I here?

Affy: I got bored.

Maxine: Oh. *looks around quietly*

Affy: Want to go now?

Maxine: Yea, I have to finish writing some things.

Affy: Thanks for interviewing and creating me.

Maxine: *smiles* Anytime. Oh before I go, what's going on between you and Iron_Pants?

Affy: *blushes* You created me, so you should know. As for them, well when Panties and I are ready to talk about it, we will.

Maxine: So there you have it folks, Afro_Chic some of you love her while some hate her...Either way, she's NEVER going to stop being herself!

Affy: And this is Maxine guys, my writer and creator. If you have any problems you can send her hate mail to:

62 Sukownit Street
Bitemeh, MA 02147

Maxine: Please do, I can't wait to hear from you ALL! *snickers*

League Of Shadows

Citizens are running! The people are screaming! Then the door opens and out comes the cadets from the Los HQ. The people silence at once. They know what will happen if they run.....

It all started not long ago, the renowned evil group known as The Family organized a new group. An academy of sorts. All the new villains signed up. They were eager to prove their prowess. They entered a schedule of training, not only their bodies but their minds as well. They learned the arts of deception, cunning and guile, their minds were sharp, their bodies were godlike. They caused chaos throughout the streets of Urbanville. They struck fear into the bravest of men. They were....unique.

They are still here. Lurking in the shadows. Devising a plan more devious than you can imagine. Once they're finished, villainy will reign supreme and the ones who prove their worth will ascend to ranks in The Family. The academy is still there. Emanating its evil power. Luring the stray, converting the good and recruiting the evil. Its power is unimaginable. Its voice is decisive. Its goal is under way. If you wish to align yourself with the future rulers, then apply now. The town isn't going to take over itself. Join with us and you will be rewarded.

Dracula, Prince Of Darkness

>> Business
When are you gonna finish my Avie/Urbie?

Hey Cadets!

Iron Pants here. A number of you may be wondering “Where is my Avatar?” or “When are you gonna finish my Urbotar” or maybe just “Urbotar Please… this year…” Well, I’m here to give you the inside information on the creation process.

Now for those of you who don’t know – I get my name and whole persona from a character in the web comic “Super Temps”. ( Gold star to anyone who’s already realized that having a web comic means that automatically a chunk o’ time goes to it and takes away from what I have available for doing Avies and Urbies.

That’s not the end of my artistic duties however. I also write and draw a second comic strip for the college paper. Alison’s Education, while only three panels and done in black and white, is also an attractive strip and as such demands a certain amount of time too.

Recently I’ve also gotten a paid commission, which understandably also takes priority over Avies and Urbies that I give out for free.

And then there’s the fact of real life getting in the way. Real life… and the occasional video games. Curiously enough, drunken binges don’t take up as much time as they used to. I think the B.S.P. is to blame for that one; he likes to make a good impression on Love Child and he wants to make sure that Affy keeps seeing me in a good light.

And if I may ever-so-briefly step completely out of character – I need to find myself a real job, so that also takes up a fair chunk o’ time. So basically, I do the Avies and Urbies whenever I darn well feel like it.

So there you have it. The scoop on why it takes bleeding forever for me to get Avies and Urbies done.