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Issue 75

Feb 21, 2007

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
8 Rhymers Fight to be #1

Hey all, it's another successful rhyme infested, jam packed Freestyle Battle. There's a lot of great rhymes to choose from, but only one champion can be crowned. Here is all you need to know about who's moving forward and what is happening next.

It's gonna be a head to head battle. Find your name and post your rap. Each rapper gets one post and one response post (that's two posts total).
Each post should be no MORE than 8 lines (less is OK).

There were a ton of great rhymes! This is the best crop of raps yet! Now it's time for 8 rhymers to put up or shut up. Good luck to everyone who is moving on!

The semi finalists are:
Richmax Vs Ugotgame

Dudeman Vs TheThing

Breaker Vs BobBacula

Gizmo_Tracer Vs Dzhelasi

Better sharpen your skills and…

Urb ON!


Tiki Lounge Contest

Combine kitsch South Pacific and cool blues, and you've found the Tiki Lounge; the latest sensation to hit the Arts District. And if that's not enough, we're holding a t-shirt design contest to celebrate our Grand Opening that could win you a cool 100,000 urbos.

Entries must be original artwork no larger than 100kb and can be submitted in the following ways:

1. Draw on
2. Upload on (urbogram me for temporary upload priviledges when you're ready to upload.)
3. Submit your entry to the Gallery by emailing it to [email protected]

Remember, the design is intended to promote the Tiki Lounge. Entries must include:

1. A tiki or tiki mask
2. At least one Urbaniacs character or sidekick

Get your entries in by March 10th. They will be judged by a panel of non-partial offsite professional artists on theme, design and originality.

The winner will be announced on March 15th right here (and on the announcement board), when we shall have an extra freaky tiki party!



It is time for the Beatniks to mastermind
And tear down the walls that have confined
Us in a world where the man is always
Fulfilling our days
Killing our play
With his unfunky haze
But not anymore...
Curiosity causes you to impore
Please Affy, what is it? Tell me!
Hah...You'll have to wait and see!
C'mon chillax, don't be a fretter!
Most important don't forget:

Beatniks do it better!

>> Business
How to Hold a Competition

Have you ever been a victim of Fizzleoutitus? You spend the time to work on an entry, enter a competition, and the host disappears with nothing ever coming of it?

Have you ever been overcome by Disorganosis? You have a great idea, put it out there as a competition, then don't know what to do with it after that?

Well then this article is for you! And you, and you, and YOU!

I'm giving out all my secrets, so pay close attention!

The key is organization and follow through! Here's the step by step process for holding a successful competition or contest, and creating an awesome reputation for yourself as a dependable events coordinator! Woohoo! This is exciting!

First of all, you need to decide what the competition will be about. Let's say you want to hold a rap competition about Urbaniacs games. You will want to post a new topic about it in the Challenges Forum, and a post in the Lounge Announcements Topic. You can also type up a press release and send it to the Urbanville Chronicles. There are a few things you will want
to include in your post.

1. Instructions!
Example 1: Let loose an 8 line rap about your favorite Urbaniacs Game.

2. Explain the system you're using to determine a winner.
Example 1: I've assembled a secret panel of judges to pick a winner. (Make sure you have asked people
who will not be entering the competition to be judges beforehand.)

Example 2: I'll be picking my favorite rap to be the winner.

Example 3: The winner will be determined by a vote from your fellow Urbaniacs. (Make sure you create a voting topic just after the deadline and stipulate if people may vote once per day, or once per Urbaniac, etc)

Example 4: Voting will be held in my lair from March 16 - March 20.

3. Provide a deadline!
Example 1: You have until 11:59pm Urbaniacs time, March 15 to post your entry.

4. Give yourself a deadline!
Example 1: The winner will be announced on March 20.

5. Offer the prize!
Example 1: The best rap gets 50,000 urbos!

Now, once the competition has started, you are responsible for monitoring it to make sure people are following the guidelines such as staying on topic and writing the correct amount of lines.

When the submission deadline arrives, follow through with the system that you stated in your original competition topic. Post in your topic that no more submissions will be accepted. Then create the voting topic, or create the survey, or notify Make sure you have your winner by the deadline you set for yourself and announce that winner. It would also
be nice if you wrote an article for the Urbanville Chronicles so that
your competition becomes an integral part of Urbanville history forever more!

You'll need to follow through one more time by awarding the prize. As of press time, the accepted way of awarding urbos is asking your competition winner to price a track for the amount of urbos you've promised; in the example, it's 50,000. Urbogram your winner with the instructions and then
buy the track.

Voila! You have hosted a successful competition and built your character some credibility!! YAY!

If you have not followed through and your competition fizzled... well people are not going to bother to participate in events that you host in the future, will they?

Don't let your competition suffer from Fizzleoutitus! Print out this article if you must, and make a success of yourself!

For those of you looking to enter reputable competitions, use this as a
checklist. If the competition does not provide information on the
important points above, then you may have to ask for clarification or it may not be worth your effort.

Avatar Winners!

The votes are in and your homeys have spoken. Like anything else in Urbanville, some drama-fication went down, but in the end, we have the winners of the Urbaniacs Avatar contest. All the avatars are awesome and you best give out some props to everyone who voted for the winners.

The official winners of the popular vote are:

Afro_Chic - 1st Place (An Iron_Pants Original)
Afro_Chic's Profile

Mystical_Moon_Chic - 2nd Place
Mystical_Moon_Chic's Profile

Diddoe - 3rd Place
diddoe's Profile

All winners will enjoy a 15 point Training Pass.

And now for some funky consolation prizes:

usagisailor - is crowned with the sweetest avatar
Fooey is crowned for weirdness avatar
Boyinachickensuit is crowned for quirkiest avatar.
And last is Aboujamradanny gets the "Nice Try" prize.

Thanks again to everyone who voted and participated.

Urb ON!


>> Comics
QUOTES STOLEN BY ZOOMER (Academy Awards Edition)

"Show me the money!"
- Stolen from Rod Tidwell in JERRY McGUIRE

"Here's Johnny"
- Stolen from Jack Torrance in THE SHINING

"I'll be back."
- Stolen from The Terminator in THE TERMINATOR

"Say hello to my little friend"
- Stolen from Tony Montana in SCARFACE

"Why is the rum always gone?"
- Stolen from Captain Jack Sparrow in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN (1)

"Ray, when someone asks if you're a *god*, you say YES!"
- Stolen from Winston Zeddemore in GHOSTBUSTERS

"He's dead, Jim"
- Stolen from Dr. McCoy in STAR TREK

And lastly,

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
- Stolen from Rhett Butler in GONE WITH THE WIND

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

>> Ask Handsome
Villain/Hero Love Thang

Dear Handsome,

I am a male Villain who has fallen hopessly in love with a female Hero in the Hustle Alliance. I try to fight it on a constant basis, but I find myself thinking about her everyday. Whenever those Hustle zeroes come to battle us, I find myself hoping that one of us dies first so we don't have to hit each other. I can't let this get out. If it does, then all of my Family members will clown me. What should I do? I want to step to her, but she's a zero.

Help me or I'll diss you!

I'm in Love with a Zero

Hoo boy...

Dear I'm in Love with a Zero,

Sacred_Apollyon, is that you? I could have sworn that it was over between you and Afro_Chic. Nah, I'm just kidding, I know this isn't Sacred.

See, this is why Handsome is a Beatnik! While all you Villains and Heroes are battling, I'm sitting on the sides waiting for the female Heroes and Villains to walk off of the battleground all sweaty and bloody. The first thing those lovely ladies will see is me and I'm handing out all the free loving that they need! To quote Afro_Chic, "Beatniks do it better!"

Look man, what's more important? Your homeboys? Or getting some loving from a beautiful woman with a Hero complex? Unless you're snuggling with your boys, I think you would say the woman.

Hero...Villain...It doesn't matter you can't see dispositions when the lights are out. And for the kids out there, ol' Handsome is talking about sleeping.

Whose your daddy? That's right, I am! (That's just for da ladies)

Handsome U. Whantme

Disclaimer: Handsome U. Whantme is NOT a licensed psychologist! He's just a man who has too much time on his hands and advice to hand out. If you want to write him, send all questions to [email protected]. Make sure that you put "Ask Handsome" in the subject field.