Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 70

Jan 19, 2007

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!

Issues

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Editorials
Grrrrrr: The Life of a Wereboy by Preston B. Wereboy
I know you all look at me as I transform into a wereboy. I see you staring, but do you know what’s going on behind these wereboy eyes? Do you know my thoughts? My cares? No, of course you don’t, but once I finish this story you will find out that not all wereboys are the same.

It all started when I was selected to be Afro_Chic’s wereboy (why get into my birth? I was born, there enough said). Synjen smiled at me and told me that I was going to have fun with her, but I wasn’t sure. She looked nice, but that didn’t stop me from being shy. She thanked Synjen and extended her hand so I could take it. I meekly walked over to her, gently took her hand and asked, “What do I call you? Ms. Chic?” She smiled and said, “Only if you’re nastay!” I didn’t get the Janet Jackson reference until she explained it to me. “I think I’ll call you Preston,” she said. “I know it sounds a bit nerdy but it also gives you an air of class. For short, I’ll call you Chico and you can call me Chica. That way we are partners and not some mother-wereboy team.” She then looked me in the eyes and said, “Preston, prepare yourself for a wild ride! You’re going to love the Hustle Alliance! There are other wereboys you can play with, including Mikey who is my boss’ wereboy, but I need to know that I can trust you. Can I? Will I always have your loyalty no matter what?” I stared into those dark brown eyes for a moment as the shyness left my body. “You got it Chica! Though be patient with me, I tend to get shy around people that I don’t know.” I noticed a slight curl in her lips as her eyes softened. “Don’t worry,” she laughed as we walked out of Synjen’s office, “A few days with me and the flirt bug will get ya!”

I’ve been with my Chica ever since. I was there when she made her change to the Family and then back to the Hustle Alliance. I’ve protected her from hits and she has always avenged my death when people take me out during battles. She always applauds me when I steal burritos for dinner. We will always be a team. She’s even taking me to the gym, so I’m much stronger now.

So here is my true story. I love hanging with my Chica and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else so please stop asking her to sell me. I’m not going anywhere! I can guarantee that!

This is me. Preston, the furry Casanova. Preston, writer extraordinaire. Preston, wereboy of Afro_Chic, why would I want another life?

*flips a backward peace sign*
Dear Diary, by Maxi, The_Grim_Repah's Shwolf
Dear Diary,

Today Porco Rosso took me to the theatre! He was very dashing! He had on a new suit, with a gold-lined cape! We arrived at the theatre via limo, and it had been raining that Saturday night, so there was mud on the way into the theatre, and you'll never guess what he did! He took off his gold-lined cape, laid it down onto the mud, and escorted me over it! I asked him why he did it afterwards, and said I was worth it! Oooh! We walked into the theatre, and it was called Gato on a Hot Tin Roof! It was marvelous! I was really surprised by the ending! While we were walking out, P.R. noticed my new earrings. He said he loved them, and he thought I looked absolutely marvelous! After the theatre, we went to a restaurant called the Restaurant très Luxueux. It was simply divine! P.R. ordered Bifteck, and I ordered Crevette. It was about as perfect as perfect gets! When we left the restaurant, P.R. drove me home, and walked me up to my house again. I think this night was about as good as it gets.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Over the past week, we had been taking ballroom dance lessons, and Porco Rosso told me that the next date, we dance!

Forever leaving memories here,

Maxi, The_Grim_Repah's Shwolf
SNAPS Contest Comin' to an End
Just a reminder folks! This contest will be over tonight (Sunday) at 12 am, Urbaniacs time!

So if you think that you got the poetry skills to win first place, I suggest you follow the link:

https://www.urbaniacs.com/city/lounge.php?t=152164

The prizes include:

First place: +25 tp and 50,000 urbos
Second Place: +15 tp and 35,000 urbos
Third place: +5 tp and 20,000 urbos

The panel of judges are beginning to review the selections...

Do you think you got what it takes to impress them???

Prove it!

*winks as her Hero collah pops*
>> Top Stories
Urbo Chunks!
I was walking through the slums of Urbanville’s wannabe city and I saw they were planning to swap rides for mutant cars that are stuck on 1 stupid channel jazz…aaaaaahhhhhh! When I went to investigate these cars I saw Goatfist (yes our Goatfist) talking to this ugly mutant scrab man thingy. I quickly grabbed a nut slinger, slinging it into this scrab man's face. I then quickly ran to the Urbanville Defense System and in about 3 minutes all of the defense enforcers jumped into our regular rides (not the mutant ones) with nut slingers and a whole lot of nuts.

When we got there we had to face a whole lot of pimple faced jazz liking flingos of course they were allergic to nuts so I grabbed a peanut butter bomb and when I threw it I saw them all blow chunks. All those chunks moved into a freakishly large and chunky nerd flingo with a defense against allergies so we all got out of our funky cars and grabbed our urbo sabers. “FOR URBANIACS,” we said and started to cut chunks out of this freakish fiend. Then, I did some rock climbing up his chunky body and put my urbo saber in the middle of his glasses. As soon as the glasses were cut he melted to a bad smelling pile of muck.

This was my bad experience.
The Family Management
The Family has begun management of Urbanville's most necessary services. The WTP (Water Treatment Plant) is under Family Management. Dudeman, The founder of the WTP, has this to say: "We remove the impurities from water to make it safe and consumable for ALL Urbaniacs." The opening of the WTP has been fully endorsed and approved by The_Legal_Eagle. Here is his endorsement: "Finally, a respectable member of the business community has stepped up to handle the towns water quality levels. Private investment is the best way to solve problems, and I'm glad DudeMan has seen fit to help solve this one."

Not only will the WTP be providing clean water to all of Urbaniacs, It will also be developing new cutting edge products and technology. The first product coming to a Speedy's Java Hut near you is "h2WHOA". Developed by none other than the WTP's founder, Dudeman. According to Dudeman, h2WHOA will give you a feeling of flying. One can of h2WhOA will negate all the stresses of Urbaniacs; the drama in the forums, the prop and urbo begging, the bullying, the bashing, the whining, the crying, etc. All of these can be cured by drinking h2WHOA. Its secret ingredients are heavily guarded by over caffeinated security guards at the WTP. So, the next time your feeling down, grab a h2WHOA. It gives you wings!!!!

Also, starting next week, Your Water payments will be due by the fifth of every month to avoid interruption to your crib's water service. If you pay after the fifth, you will incur a 5 urbo late fee and a urbo reconnect fee. This is the first of many services now under control of The Family Management. Look forward to hearing more from them and the WTP as we work hard to make a better Urbanville.


- WTP's Marketing Director
>> Politics
The Voices of the Vigilantes
With the restructuring of The Family some may say that the H.A. is going to achieve the upper hand in the good vs. evil war, some may say that this "new" Family will be stronger and more villainous than ever and it will bring Urbanville to its knees however, they are wrong!!!

The vigilantes has recently been gathering recruits, gathering strength, and most of all have been gathering ideas. We are looking for people who are willing to contribute to the group by being active and helping others out (we always battle together and help out newbs with advice and props), as a trainer of the academy (check crew forums) I hope to be able to help you reach your potential. However we do expect you to help yourself become the best you can be.

Our mission: Our sole mission is to liberate Urbanville and give it back to the public instead of a few select (or elite) few that seem to think it is theirs to control by right.

Our motto : Always remember it's not always as it seems to be.

Remember we want you!

P.S check out the forum in the crews section to join up.