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Issue 67

Jan 3, 2007

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
What are you Gonna be?
Some people seem to be indecisive as to what side to be on? Will you fight evil? Or destroy all that is good? So, to help people along in their search of themselves, I have decided to expose the sides for what they are worth.

The good are protectors of the city, those looked up to by the civilians. They fight for justice, and all that is right and good. There is an obvious satisfaction knowing you are helping the world out, and the there is also the joy of throttling down those villains and henchlings! You have that good warm feeling inside, and that tingling sensation on your knuckle! Obviously, you must follow the strict rules of Good, and never stray sides. All of this is great, but the greatest is joining the HUSTLE alliance, with it's great leader Mr. Anderson. You get to prove yourself among heroes, take a leading role, and play a part in a great community. Not to mention you have the mayor on your side!!!

However, the evil lurk behind the corners, take delight in hiding, trickery, and scheming. They will throttle down heroes at every chance they get, and enjoy every precious second of it. You can choose to rule alone, or join the Family, or one of the lesser factions. You thrive on power, wealth, and self satisfaction. You destroy all those citizens, throttling hopes. And of course, you get to make your own... FAMOUS EVIL CACKLE!!!!!

How will you decide?

Adoption Notice
The Urbanville Adoption Agency, in accordance with state and local regulations, is posting the following adoption notices:

Adopted: Afro_Chic and Tiger_Eyes, sista's in claws by CrimsonKing (Yes, Surfer_Chick and Breaker are part of the deal).

The UAA wishes this new family their best wishes for happiness, or mayhem and destruction, depending on your point of view.
>> Editorials
Mo' Beefy Meat Burgers
After accidentally taking a bite out of MrAnderson's Mo' Beefy Meat Burger during a Council meeting at H.A. Headquarters I realized something: Mo' Beefy Meat Burgers are made out of SOY! Oh I know some of you guys are calling me crazy but trust me; I know what soy taste like! It makes up a huge portion of my diet and I'm shocked that avid meat eaters haven't realized this yet! The texture is VERY different than an actual burger. When MrAnderson turned his head I ripped his sandwich apart and examined it closer. Before he realized what happened to his burger I quickly put everything back together and hid my hands (shoot I had condiments all over them). I didn’t realize that I was smiling as I watched him take a huge bite out of his sandwich until he asked me what was making me smile so hard. I giggle and responded that I was smiling because I was part of an awesome group! I then laughed and said, "Where’s the beef?" He smiled back and responded, "Right here!"

Yea right.

Beta Testers the Real Big dogs?

The top three have created a new way to show love to the players of urb. Beta testers have a unique opportunity to test out the newest cool things on urb.. before they are released to the masses. To simplify things, you can't even get into the forum without meeting the requirements, 10,000 props AND 90+ days on the site.

Many newly made Big Dogs howled in frusteration.

"I JUST made it to being a Big Dog!" crazy_azn_bd_lover was heard muttering over cocoa.

Similar grumblings were heard throughtout the hallowed halls of the HA. Affy and Myself were counseling urbs all night, offering encouragement and telling them to hit those prop buttons like never before.

For those of us who are already in this elite forum it offers a rare glimpse at inner workings of Synjen's mind... It's a bit like seeing the Wizard of Oz I dare say.. I only hope he never truly reveals himself (that always ends with disappointment :P)

To those of you who are feeling frusterated at having lost your place at the top of the food chain... I offer these words of wisdom

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty" ~Winston Churchill

Don't get frusterated... work hard and you'll get here too.. hit those prop buttons urbs!!!

Seriously I'm off to play in my crib now... *giggles*

>> Ask Handsome
Ask Handsome
Dear Handsome,

They say that a way to man's heart is through his stomach, but I can't cook! I tried to microwave a Burrito Maggo-Grande, but it ended up exploding and setting my microwave on fire!

Please help me Handsome! I have a serious crush on someone, but I don't want to accidentally set him on fire one day!

Desperately Seeking Cookbooks

Dear Desperately Seeking Cookbooks,

First darling let me say, dag yo! You need more than a cookbook sweet thang! You need some fire insurance!

Look, there are other ways to catch your crush's eye! You're a woman, work your womanly wiles and if he comes over for dinner, order take out and pass that food off as your own!

He doesn't have to know until after you snag that ring!

Whose your daddy? That's right, I am!

Handsome U. Whantme

Disclaimer: Handsome U. Whantme is NOT a licensed psychologist! He's just a man who has too much time on his hands and advice to hand out. If you want to write him, send all questions to [email protected]. Make sure that you put "Ask Handsome" in the subject field.