The Jungle Kitty Twins (and yes Surfer too) Go Up for Adoption
My sister (Tiger_Eyes) and I are officially putting ourselves up for adoption. We are hoping that our new family will be funky and heroic and not stinky and villainous! We have had enough of that. Sure Maggot will always be our father. His blood is coursing through our veins but it’s time for this heroic duo to have some heroic lineage. So Mayor feel like adopting three chicas? Yes, Surfer is part of the deal.
If you are interested, give me a holla at the Office of Funk!
>> Top Stories
Part One: The World cries out for heroes!
- Grandpa, tell me a story!
- Oh… ok… Once upon a time there were three little pigs, one of them...
- YEAH!! Right!
- That story is ancient grandpa! I want a real story, with real heroes!
- Real story huh? Real heroes? Ok… Our tale begins 244 years back. In an age far more difficult than the one we live now. Henchlings were roaming the city streets and chars were crushing parties… Johnny and Jenny the two most notorious cops of the time were corrupted and there were even rumors of nasty, slimming creatures called sludges invading the moon. People in Urbanville lived in fear. Daman was the mayor at that time...
- Oh! You mean the statue with the cool sunglasses outside the city hall was the mayor back then?
- Yep, no other than the mayor himself. He was nice and funky but he couldn’t deal with all of these minions by himself. Goatfists minions!
- Who was Goatfist?
- Goatfist was a really nasty creature, who desired power above all and would threaten everything that was good and funky!
- Oh you mean something like George W. Bush?
- ….um… er... no, no nothing like that.
- But he was really nasty I heard he once made war for oil and…
- Can we go on already??
- Oh… ok!
- Where was I? Oh! Yes Goatfist! Apart from his minions he had help from others too… There were some Urbaniacs who would willingly serve Goatfist hoping to get his favor after he had dominated Urbanville. As you can understand the world cried out for heroes and then the most amazing thing happened…
- The heroes answered lad! Four bold heroes appeared and formed a powerful group that would drive Goatfist minions away and save the day!
- Were they the New Kids on the Block?
- …um…er… no, no nothing like that.
- But they really drove people away when they sang and…
- Can we go on already??
- Oh... ok!
- Where was I?
End of Part one!
QUOTES STOLEN BY ZOOMER
In case of doubt, attack.
Stolen from George S. Patton - United States Army General
>> Ask Handsome
Ask a Fruitcake
I'm new to the hip-hop scene here in Urbanville and I'm lean and mean yet I can't even get noticed by the girls. All the others kids get to go on play dates while I'm just left out. What does a kid have to do in this town to get noticed? People treat me like I'm not even there. The few that have befriended me say I'm sneaky like I have something to hide. Well I don't! I just want to be noticed.
Invisible in Urbanville
Listen to old Granny if you can't be seen, be heard. Let your inner voice out. There's a Don Juan on the inside of us all. You just have to set him free. If you feel the girls are not noticing you then you must do something to catch their eye. Put on some new shades, maybe some nice red boots, gloves, and a cape. Then, I promise you, they'll be all over you like Granny on a Fruitcake.
Keeping the Funk!
P.S. If that fails you can always pick their pockets.