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Issue 51

Sep 9, 2006

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
Refreshing Beverage Hits the Streets
Do to resent out break of HCS (Hero Converting Serum) tainting the water supply here in Urbanville. M-Corp. industries, LLC. unveiled their newest patented pending “SUPA_Water.” A spokes person for the corporation The_Legal_Eagle stated, “With everyone stuck on the fitness craze and the Urbolympics coming to town. What better time for us to put our hand in the pie?”

SUPA_Water coming straight form your “Natural Spring.” it’s the only water that comes from you, back to you. It has been solely indorsed by the FAMILY. Putting back the villain in everyone!

All bottled waters are not the same. “SUPA_Water’s” state of the art HydRO-7 purification system consistently adds substances most other bottled waters take out. So the only thing you taste in your water… is waste. “SUPA_Water” Pure Waste, for the Perfect Taste, every time! Enhanced with your own Minerals for great taste. In three great Funk-a-Luscious favors, Strawberry-Mango, Orange-Pineapple, and Fruity-Luscious- Brown Berry. Go get you some today. Guaranteed to put back what you lose!

*Bottled right here in Urbanville Under the authority of the U.W.M.

Guard your Funk
Yes, my fellow heroes (and also all law-abiding citizens of Urbanville), the Family is back, in NotMyPresident's own words, "more evil, more elite, and of course, more funky". And true to the last part, they are planning to steal all the funk for themselves!
The Family's diabolical plan consists of getting number 1 position in every game's single game high score, thus denying the funk of it to all other Urbaniacs. And they have already succeeded in Flingo Flango game too, where vigilante Breaker currently holds the top position!
So if you feel up to this challenge, pick up your favorite game (or few) and try to best the Family members along with all other Urbaniacs in it. Remember, in this contest of gaming skills, any Urbaniac can become a mountain that prevents all the funk from gathering in the evil hands of the Family members!
CornyChumpsWhoAreAbouttoLose say "WHAT?"
So let's talk about this war with Ikoncity and Riddler...

The first week we were tearing them up. You know beating them like the STOLE something but now that has changed. Also if you look at their leader boards, some of them have taken our names and altered them in corny ways. Some of us at fair Urbanville are upset, but I say why? They are CORNY and guess what? Their corny behinds are beating us like a red headed stepchild (no offence to all you red headed step children out there...Chillax, it's just a saying).

Now you all know me as an infamous trash talker but most of the times when I am play spades with my boys, I don't talk trash at all. I sit there silently and l allow for my game to show those chumps who is the Queen of that table! I think it's time that we do that. No need to talk trash back to Ikoncity...There is no need to get all upset because they twisted our names (seriously...could they be more clever?) *rolls eyes*

It's time to let our skills do all of the talking. Now they are in the lead guys. I know that some of you are tired. Some of you are frustrated. Some of you are just into doing assaults and winning training passes but these types of attitudes will score us a loss. Who wants to lose? I don't!!!!! All you have to do is try to beat your score. It's not about competing with each other, it's all about competing with yourself. The more you are able to beat your personal score the more our overall score will rise. We can't rely on Brikin101, Nostopballa, TheThing, Slimthugga, and Sacred_Apollyon to keep those scores up for us. They are working their behinds off and it's time that we support them so that Urbaniacs can pull in a win and send those Ikoncity boobs packing.

Mayor_DaMan, Synjen, and JenQ work hard to give us a chill play to have fun and meet cool people, let's pay them back by winning this challenge!!

Afro_Chico...Are you kidding me? I bet THAT kid is smart...Was that suppose to hurt or get me mad? What a waste of trash talk. He should be hunted down and beaten with a sack of door knobs. *giggles*

In closing, there has been a lot of advice flying around the site. I figured that I would put them here in case you all didn't see them. This is some good advice, it comes from our top 5...So listen up we have a number 1 spot that we need to regain.

1. You have to hit some bad guys more than once to kill them, some take 1, some take 2, and the highest I've seen takes 3 hits to kill.

2. I have gotten far enough to repeat level 1, which has increased in speed. So I believe you go until you die 5 times.


4. If Firefox doesn't work for you try switching to Internet Explorer.

5. Take your time don't just rush through

6. Watch the pattern that the spaceships make...(they are easier to kill that way)

7. Keep at it( I don’t know how many times I messed up and wanted to hit something )

8. When it speeds up the next time around don't be afraid (I think it got easier then )

9. If it freezes don't get mad just wait...

10. When it starts getting to 2 space ships go and fall through the ground and keep doing it. Sooner or later you will hit the ship and kill it. Repeat until you kill the other ship.

11. Don't attack things randomly, find a path you like and stick to it, repetition will make your game flawless.

12. If you die frequently by one opponent, find a way to dodge it. IMO, losing a life is not worth 20, 40, or 80 points.

13. Pay attention to the paths of the saucers and the other enemies, knowing when to attack and when to hold back are keys to a high score.

14. Don't sit around, wasting time can result in a BIG SAUCER shooting you, taking away one of your precious lives.

15. AIM for level 8+. You get 1 extra life at level 8.


17. Take breaks in between rounds. Just pause the game, shake your hands, take deep breaths, and look away from the screen, whatever it takes to relax you for the next round.

18. Invisible Ceiling = not holding space bar long enough. I would not press the space bar long enough and it would seem as if I would hit something, land, and die. I would hold it TOO long, and jump to the next ledge, and immediately jump again. Just make sure you press the space bar just enough to get maximum jump then let go.

19. Let me end this all with a cheer because I just beat my score and got to level 9!!!!!

*graps pom poms*

We're sweet
We got the whip
We can't be beat
We're the best
Our site's too cool
We got the class to rock those fools
We Bad,
We got the skills
We can't be had
We're the best so score them points
We'll win the game
We'll rock this joint!
Go Urbs, Go Urbs, Go,Go,Go Urbs
Go Urbs, Go Urbs, Go,Go,Go Urbs
Our game is fierce
And we are hip
So get on back you can't touch this!
Our game is bad
We're without fear
So get that weak site outta here!

*puts down pom poms and rolls eyes*

No I wasn't a cheerleader in high school and NO CrimsonKing I wasn't wearing a cheerleading outfit while doing this. Excuse me, I have a game to DOMINATE. Why are you still staring at this?! Get out there and kick some Ikoncity booty!!!

*too busy playing to pop her Hero collah*