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Issue 193

May 16, 2012

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
What's In An Article?

Dear Readers, but more importantly, Writers,


I received a submission that consisted of three sentences:


Yooo my felllloww urrrrbbss. how the hello do i use this ¿ wht do the issues mean and what do i do on this ? lol


This is not something that can be published as an article, story, poem, advertisement, joke column, or anything else, really.  


Submitting an article to the Chronicles is quite simple.


1.  Go the the Chronicles page:  https://www.urbaniacs.com/chronicles/


2.  Click on the "Send it our way!" link on the left side of the screen.


3.  Where it says "Title" type the title of your article.


4.  In the big space below that, type your article.


5.  Click the "Submit Story" button.


Your article finds its way to my desk where I determine whether it is coherent enough to be published.


An issue is a publication. Each time the Chronicles is published, it is considered an "issue" and comes with its own issue number. If you read magazines, it's the same thing. Each magazine is an issue and is numbered for reference.


When you write an article, try to include a beginning, middle and end. A few random sentences thrown together will not be published. Pay attention in English class, please. I've been getting articles from people who are clearly failing and I fear for the your futures.


 

Interview With A Office Building Accountant

ManDude: Hello. *sits in chair* Sorry I'm a bit late. Just busted the bank breakers.
Accountant: Wasn't that last week?
ManDude: ...Maaaybe. Look, I'm the one asking the questions here bub.
Accountant: OK. Where should we begin?
ManDude: How about that tie. Where'd you get it?
Accountant: Oh, this old thing? I have a hundred like it!
ManDude: Really?
Accountant: Yeah. Can you believe how cheap they were? A dollar! The line at the store was huge and me and another woman had to wrestle for the last one!
ManDude: Yes yes, very interesting. Now, back to the important stuff. What's it like being an Accountant in a fancy building like this, in Urbanville?
Accountant: I dont get paid nearly enough! Do you know how many times the villains try and rob us? Twice a day! Once on Tuesdays though. Luckily we've learned how to deal with them. *holds up a bar of soap*
ManDude: ...I'm lost.
Accountant: Havent you wondered why they're always dirty? They hate the stuff!
ManDude: Don't you think thats a generalization? I know some villains and they're not so bad. I mean, when they're not bragging, trying to destroy you, or plotting to rule the world. ...Yeah, I'm busy.
Accountant: You and me both brother! I get so far behind in my work the boss gets mad and blames ME for all the attacks!
ManDude: That's AWFUL! Now, next question-
Accountant: I try to explain things to him but sometimes he just won't listen!
ManDude: Alright, good to hear. Now let's get back to the interview-
Accountant: It's always "Do this do that!" "No not like that!" "You're fired!" "No wait I have a job for you again!"! I never know what he's thinking!
ManDude: Sir?
Accountant: And don't get me STARTED on my fellow employees!
ManDude: *sneaks away while he's not looking*

This has been Interview With A Office Building Accountant! Thank you Accountant for your help!
Accountant: I mean really! Is it so hard to get a cup of coffee for the guy in the cubical next to you?! Sometimes I feel like no one appreciates me!
ManDude: And tha'ts all the time we have for today! Bye everyone! *pulls ending screen into frame*

ManDude: Next week, we interview a Hotdog Vendor.

New Side Web of Urbaniacs

Me and urban_villain will be creating a website which will be like a side web of urb where it will promote Urbaniacs and it will have many things like online chat so people will be able to talk to each other online.

Ronaldo_66 will also be helping creating the website and I will also need your help to make the site good and useful.

The site is: https://urbanvillains.webs.com/

Hey Heroes! Hey!

Heroes come on down to your Urbanville Street and chill out. Better yet, HEAT UP with our new summer contest! A 2 month contest lasting all summer with tons of games and fun for the whole family!

Come on down and sign up already! :D

>> Top Stories
Who Is That Man On The Street?

You know, the one with the big trench coat that always hides in the alleys? He just... stands there. He's the buzz around town, the topic of the party! Do you know who he is? No? Well I say we all form a angry mob!

Just kidding. Actually, how about we form a secret mob and investigate? Yeah, an investigating squad or something or other! OK, you guys go to the back of the alley to spy. Record his every movement, if he makes one. You guys, go circle the block and report everything you see when you get back to him. Now for us, we'll do epic hero jumps to the rooftops to spy on him from there! We'll find out what this guy's shtick is!