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MAGGOT WORMS WAY TO VICTORY
After weeks of debates, and constant barrages of campaign comments and slogans, the race is officially over. As the ballets were totaled, we had a clear leader. That new hands-on leader for the Villains, the one to lead under the vigilant eye of GoatFist, is the adorably evil Maggot. Like Furbies he wins your heart then starts to bite you, until you become one of his minions. (A trick he learned from Carveus). The Rumors that TugginMcGroin are furious are so far unfounded. In fact Maggot has attempted to make him a Public Relations Director after being impressed with his slogan. As evil commander, Maggot has promised to fulfill all his campaign promises. Villains... prepare to be led into a prosperous times! And to the Heroes who remain... get ready to pick up what's left of this torrid city.
STOLEN IDENTITY or AVATARNISHED
To some, it may be an earth shattering experience. For others, it's a finger pointing and a big "ha ha!" But no one who has been through the horror is laughing! That's right, I'm talking about Identity Theft, otherwise known as Avatar Cloning! It's been popping up all over Urbanville! An Urbaniac called Pain_Killer is one such victim… or is he the cloner? No one knows, but there is a striking resemblance between PK's avatar and the one they call Tempest. Both were quoted as saying "This just goes too far!" One thing is for sure, this is something that can only be settled in a Battle Arena!
Cafeteria Closed, Kids Go Hungry
Urbanville High School was shutdown yesterday do to an unforeseen act of gluttony. Lunch lady Sally Monella was an eye witness to the whole thing “Well, it was just another Burrito Thursday here at the school and I was finishing refrying the refried beans, when I smelled something funny. I looked up… there it was! A menacing looking fellow wearing a serape, sandals, a bullet belt, and surrounded by a green haze. He was carrying his own ice cream scoopers and he ate my entire lot of beans faster than you can say "flatulent spatula!" "So, I turned to grab my trusty ladle and when I turned back around, he was gone… and now the whole place STINKS!"
The P.T.A. has hired defense attorney The_Legal_Eagle to investigate and Mayor DaMan is staying on top of the situation (but not too close, it really stinks).
Who was this Burrito Bandito? No one knows. One thing is for sure, I don't think Urbanville has seen the last of him.