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Issue 188

Jan 11, 2012

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>> Editorials
Happy New Year - Finally!

Our offices were very quiet over the holidays. Mostly because Scoop was working in the field. But still, you may have noticed a missed issue here and there due to people not submitting anything. 

I hope this issue sets the pace for the rest to come in the new year. Not by being rather late into it, but in the number of entertaining articles that are being published.

We have a mixed bag that really represents a day in the life of Urbanville. Thank you authors - I've been told to inform you that if you have declared your disposition in the Lounge (Dispo Declaratoin Battle - January) you will receive a point for your team for the stories that you've submitted. This doesn't apply to announcements, though.

I hope you all are having a great year so far. I am, now that the decorations and Christmas trees have been taken down. It's nice to have a clean, zen-like office again!

Show And Tell

This week during a show and tell at a local Urbanville school, things went a little crazy.

"It was all fun and games until someone lost their eye!" said the teacher.
"He just HAD to bring it in!" screamed a student glued to his seat...literally.
"I don't know what he is thinking. OBVIOUSLY my portable disintegration beam was more amazing than that...THING!" answered an over achiever.

During a show and tell, little Joey Matherson brought in a giant drooling green monster. The students were amazed. Little Joey told the class not to startle him. Ms. Over Achiever though, thought her invention was much more "spectabulous" than that "over grown jar of Lime UrboGurt" so she pointed the portable Disintegration Ray at it and fired. Luckily the monster had drooled on it when he walked by and the ray short circuited and just sparked. This however, was enough to freak out Slimord (the monster's name) and he went beserk. He picked up many students and spit on them, put them on a wall and smacked them with a fish he was hiding in his rolls. The teacher called the UPF (Urbanville Police Force) who managed to calm Slimord down using a potato (don't ask). Little Joey paid the bail of 153.79235681 urbos and released Slimord. He is now in therapy sessions to get over his extreme paranoia. The over achiever student was arrested on account of handling a Disintegration Ray under the age of 10. Her bail has not yet been paid.

Sky-Meal, Sky-High

A new restaurant has opened. The "Sky-Meal" held a Purple Carpet event where the Mayor, The Goat, every Henchling in town, Anon Y. Mos, and every hero in town came except for Sassy Jungle Kitty who had to help an ape find its banana nest.

The event was running good until Elephantic ordered a Peanut Bomb Surprise. The chef was over run with all the orders and over loaded the Urbnysol Reactor and blew the whole place literally sky high. Luckily it landed on a cloud.

 The Sky-Meal now runs on Urbanium and has built a elevator to the ground where it once was. Prices have risen 975.2375%. Luckily the prices before were 1 urbo.


I'm Da Quarter Master. The guy that hands out free stuff to the H.A if you've earnt it.

I'm that old, my age has reverted back to zero. I'm pretty cantankerous as well, so, iI'd steer clear, I have only 5 friends, Mayor DaMan, Mr Anderson, the Senator, Captain Bull and, a truly old friend (rip) Maggot.

I once protected Urbanville from evil with all these guys, back in my glory days, when I was young, and handsome. (I think I may have even left some love children running around the city)

Anyway, I'm old and cranky, and I hate people, but I'm a hero, I may be old, and this funky stuff might be a bit over my head, but I can still tango.

I like to complain, about "what grinds my tusks" I also like to tell old war stories, about the olden days of Urbanville, from how it was started as a constant tug of war between good and evil. And what it is now. A happy peaceful city, where villains only boost the local economy and heroes just party. :/

But don't annoy me, trust me, I'm not as friendly as I used to be, don't suck up.

Join the H.U.S.T.L.E and I'll give you some tango-delic gear.


Da QM.

Getting 'hagop' to 10k Props

My friend hagop has been here nearly 1300 days & has only 1500 props.......  I want help from all the urbs out there to get this guy upto the 10k mark.

My personal reason for helping out this urb is the fact hagop gave me my very first prop which welcomed me to the game.

Thanks for reading & LETS DO THIS THANG!!!!!! lol

Escaped Guinea Pig

Last Friday was a night to remember for escaped guinea pig, Mr. Nibbles. On Friday afternoon, Mr. Nibbles escaped from his pen at Ninja Rodent Farms and made his way into a pen containing 32 female guinea pigs. He romanced each one and yielded 96 offspring. In an interview, Magic_shodow of Ninja Rodent Farms stated, "Mr. Nibbles has been secured in his pin with scotch tape and there shouldn't be any more issues from now on." While it still is a mystery how Mr. Nibbles escaped, we can all agree that many men would be very jealous of guinea pig Mr. Nibbles.

A New Year... Again?!

A New Year... Again?!

I'm not sure if everyone’s New Year was like mine. Actually, I'm sure that 99% of you enjoyed yourself much more than I did. I was stuck at work, doing a 14 hour shift. The one good news was, at 12 o’clock I got a 20 minute break and a free glass of champagne, wasn’t I lucky! Oh and the other good news, Urbrey was at home, so no nagging went on all night!

So, as always at the beginning of a New Year what is the question you always get asked? What is your New Years resolution? I hate it! I mean, sticking at things such as, ‘I won’t eat chocolate.. just what is the point of that? Starving myself of everyone’s favourite cheeky snack – Never! I more try to set myself goals – achievable ones, that way I have all year to try to do them. Especially since I never seem to find time to do anything, it is all a big juggle with me – Just ask Urbrey!

So these are my 5 goals this year:

1. Reach 200 issues of the Urbaniacs Chronicles! (Everyone can help me out with this one!)
2. To drink more water... I just cannot stand the stuff! Nice with squash though!
3. Not to work as much.
4. To relax more!
5. FINALLY, to giveaway as many items as I can!

So these are my 5, what are your ‘Goals’ or resolutions for this year? I would love to hear them! Let me know by gramming me or submitting a Chronicles article! I look forward to reading them!



Round 2 of Scoops Christmas Contest went on slightly longer than anticipated, so first thing first, I am going to rename the contest for the final found to Scoops New Year Contest. Catchy, I know.

So in the last round I asked Jay_Rawker, ManDude, TheThing, Dark_Oracle and dragon1 to produce a rap/rhyme about Christmas and Urbaniacs. I would like to thank four of them who sent in something. All the entries were well thought about and I enjoyed reading them. But ONLY 2 Urbs can go through to the next round. Drum roll please.......

Congratulations Dragon1 and Dark_Oracle! You both have made it through to the final!
Also, a BIG well done and some mega props to the other 3 that made it this far. I have a gift for each of you coming your way.

Now, the final round. Get ready Dragon1 and Dark_Oracle.
Your final task is to create a Urbaniacs based comic sketch. Your drawing/pictures don't have to be the best, also the amount of speech used doesn't have to be loads. It goes on how you do it. Don't send it to the gallery! It will be placed here in the chronicles. I will gram you on how to send it in.

You have until the 1st Febuary, Good Luck!


Urbstrology - January

This month people will feel torn between spending money lavishly, and sticking to a tight budget. It's not a good time to take risks, so if your friends (or honeys, or in Racky's case, honeys) stand in your way, just listen to them. On the other hand, if your sidekicks all encourage you to invest in real estate, as in a loft in Uptown Urbanville that they will take care of and name The Party Palace, DON'T listen to them.

In the beginning of the month, you may feel motivated to get organized and feel more in control of your life. Perhaps you've donated old gear to Newbie Aid, or rearranged your schedule to take classes at The Academy.

As the month goes on, people will be feeling the urge to express their independence and individuality. This could unfold as acts of rebellion, but try not to burn down City Hall.

Luckily, around the 13th, harmony will be in the air. Love and appreciation for friends and family may inspire you to spend more time with the people you care about. It's also a good time to make contact with those you've been meaning to call.

On the 23rd Mars will go retrograde in Virgo until April 13th, so you may experience a period of reevaluating your values, deciding what is important, then rearranging your life to meet new objectives. Don't take action until you are really clear about what you want. Once you've gotten rid of all your worldy possessions and joined the Urbanville Sewer Cult of Urbmanity, it's a little hard to back out and start over. I hear they don't allow anyone to leave the organization, anyway. The point is, be sure of what you want before you go for it.

The New Moon will be in Aquarius on the 23rd. As you know, this is an especially powerful day to put forth our thoughts and desires. Write down up to 10 wishes with the themes of Aquarius in mind; friends, knowledge, detachment, ideas, equality and selflessness.