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Issue 167

Jul 6, 2011

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
The News, Such as it Is

In this issue, we have the story of our resident Villain here at the Chronicles, the one and only Osmeliio.

Scoop keeps us informed about the UrbOlympics. Can't wait until it starts up again!

Altergut, well, amazes us with himself, and his enthusiasm for the Nomads.

Sandggg addressed the Kelvin/Sparky issue.  Yes, those henchlings are going crazy all up in Urbanvillel again!  They're even attacking Villains again.  Just goes to show the loyalty of Villains.

Osmeliio surprises us with breaking news, though I think it may have all been a dream.

And we finally have our Yearbook results!  Congratulations to those with titles.  For those of us without... well we know we're special.  ;)

Not Another Villain Story

There once was a weak and pathetic zero named osmelii(me).. One day I was walking down the street going to Speedy's Hava Hut when out of no where Rackman, DudeMan jump out started to kick me an punch me. They told me to join the villains and they will make me stronger... I went home and thought of what they said...

The next morning I went to Rackman's lair and I told him that I wanted to be one of them. That same day we went to the gym and started to lift weight.. I felt powerful I felt well respected. Everyone was scared of us, we were unstoppable.

Scoop join us we want you

Swelly Nomads

We the Nomads are the swelliest team alive! Those other dispo's are just ordinary people bickerin over who's the best when we just sit back and laugh!

The Nomads are straight geeking, it's hilarious!!!!! Join the Nomads and become swelly!!!


Never Take Your Eyes Off

The mayor decided to make some new items for the heroes. For doing so well on the kelvin and sparky battle. But goatfist came back. But no one was there. They were too busy working on the new items. So now everyone is fighting the kelvin and sparky battles again. I officially announce the KELVIN AND SPARKY WAR 2! FIGHT ON URBS.

The Amazing Altergut

Who comes flying through the night running so fast you can't see them? Altergut! Who is a urb who wanders looking for evil? Altergut! Who has their own theme song? Altergut!!!! Its Altergut the nomadic swellyness!!!!!

Goatfist has a brother

Omgshh I just found out that Goatfist has a brother.... His brother is DaMan.... Yes you heard right mayor DaMan...

I was walking down the street when I heard the Mayor talking to his mom and DaMan told his mom that he doesn't wanna tell people that he has a brother.. His mom was like, "But son you have too, even though he is stronger than you, you still have to respect him."

I was in shock when O heard that... This is why I wrote this article to let everyone know the GoatFist has a brother who is a hero... Hahaha and I also heard that the mayor still sucks on his thumbs and he drinks milk from a bottle... Hahaha what a loser...

>> Sports
UrbOlympics Update!

(On behalf of Jay_Rawker)

As you may all know the UrbOlympics have come to a standstill!
The reason is that my homey, Jay_Rawker has taken a well deserved rest,
so won't be back until the 13th of July.

As soon as he is back, the UrbOlympics will be back on!


>> Top Stories
Yearbook (Volume 5)

Thank you to everyone who participated in the yearbook nominations and voting this year! It was a close race in almost every category and every vote counted! The results are archived on along with the Class of 2011.

Here are your results:

King and Queen of Propping: TheThing & Love_Child
King and Queen of Dissing: Supa_Villain & GoatFist
King and Queen of the Forums: Jay_Rawker & Dark_Oracle
King and Queen of Drama: Magic_Shodow & samatha123
MVP: Heroes: Zoomer_McTraveller
MVP: Villains: UltraUrb
MVP: Vigilantes: Jay_Rawker
MVP: Nomads: TheThing
MVP: Beatniks: Love_Child
Best Avatar: Dark_Oracle
Best Alter Ego Name: GroinStomp
Best Lair: JuicyFruit
Best Dressed: Zoomer_McTraveller
Best Artist: Love_Child
Best Chronicler: Inside_Scoop
Best Rapper: Armand_Hammer
Most Friendly: gagiti
Most Grumpy: Kingsland
Most Humorous: JuicyFruit
Most Sinister: Rackman
Most Mysterious: jerseymom
Most Creative: Dark_Oracle
Favorite Sidekick: B. Wereboy
Favorite Weapon: Urborang
Favorite Game: Roof Ruckus, Boombox & Bomb Diggity
Favorite Forum Topic: Lounge