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Issue 139

Dec 10, 2008

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
January 4, 2009
2008, Good Riddance.

I sit here with a cup of joe purchased from the Java Hut. I look around this ancient hut and wonder where did 2008 go? Feh, it is not like anything great happened to me but whenever the miserable existence that I know as life speeds up, then I am not a happy individual. When am I a happy individual? Whenever I am not dealing with twits and since I work with Scoop and Handsome, that is rarely ever.

Ira DaMan and I have be talking. He is actually worth my time. He has promised that the Chronicles will have a dramatic new look in 2009. I hope this is true.

This issue:

Poindexter talks about the most evil moments in 2008. Wonderful.

J_TRANE gives a final farewell to Urbanville. Good riddance.

Afro_Chic discusses the Weekend Roundup Thingy’s roundup. Joy.

Rancid_Rawhide tries to rally the troops. Good luck.

Handsome_UWhantme answers a question dealing with the lack of participation in Urb. Heaven help us.

Feh, Happy New Years.

The Masked Editor
The Most Evil Moments in 2008
Greetings and Salutations!

It is I, Poindexter, and I have come to list the moments in 2008 that caused the members of the site to exclaim, “That is evil!” One may inquire, why would I do this well, I am evil and because of this it is my duty to spread the evil to the world and to all who will listen.

BUPE – Best Urbanville Prank Ever
J_TRANE in his infinite evilness concocted a plan in which new members of Urbanville were contacted and told that DudeMan had a Sucka and was willing to give it away to the person who mailed him the most asking for said Sucka. I, for one, had a fun time participating because although I knew that it was a hoax, the joy of spamming an inbox warmed my evil heart. It was indeed the Best Urbanville Prank Ever and if I had my choice or if Goatfist was in City Hall, this example of evilness would have been rewarded with a trophy. Heh.

Merry Christmas MrAnderson
Months later, DudeMan decided that he was going to spread some cheer to the inbox of MrAnderson by putting up a contest in the Villains’ thread and offering the 1 million urbos to the person who sent the most Christmas wishes to MrAnderson. Kinohi won the urbos for not only sending the most messages but for sending the most incoherent messages which probably gave MrAnderson a headache for days, if he read them all.

The Family’s Backstabbing
Congratulations, you are the new leader but watch your back for when you are not looking, I will stab you in the back and take your position from you. Heh, if the site is looking for the evilness in the Family, you are in need of thicker glasses than the ones that I currently equip for it is alive and thriving.

Crazybuttman2 has singlehandedly brought the evil back to the site through his spam and his insane way of infuriating the entire town of Urbanville. Although there were times when I wanted to rip off my pocket protector and challenge him to a battle, I must give credit where it is due.

Funky to Junky Meters
Heh, if you take an evil individual, let’s call him Poindexter, and he starts to vote a Big Dog junky causing them to lose a star then that person ends up blaming someone else and begins to vote them junky, what are the results? It is my hypothesis, which has been proven, that soon you will have a group of Big Dogs with 4 stars on their Funky/Junky Meter.

As we bid 2008 adieu, it is my wish that there will be more evil acts in 2009. Perhaps LoD, The Family, and LOS will join forces to spread the evil from the sewers to City Hall.

>> Editorials
Whippity Happy Day

First take a moment to reflect the on the year that was 2008.

There was some turmoil and some celebrations.

It was a great year, but it is over now... now is the moment we need to look to our future. The Future of Urb. Urb will never admit it, but it is need of you...All of you to thrive and survive. Old timers will remember the times of the past when there wasn’t a distraction. There were forums and friends and we made the best of it. Urb has grown in so many ways.

But it is nothing without all of you... No matter what games come out, the gear for your characters, and the new twists that are on the way. Urbaniacs needs young ones to take the site back for the younger generations. There are a lot of cats that worked hard to get Urb to where it is today, but we can’t keep it going.

Now you are all saying that I am repeating myself, but this is my final plea. There are reasons that I am charging you all with the challenge to bring the funk back to Urb. Recently, I had a major change in my life. I was hit with the recession and now am going to be moving. I am going to be busy in the real life doing some things I’ve wanted to do, but couldn’t because I was working 10-12 hours days.

So today begins my Sabbatical from Urb. As of this moment, I am going to be off Urb for a while... only stopping by on rare occasions.

So Urb, it has been a blast. Peace out and Nurb Off for one last time,
J Trane
The Weekend Roundup Thingy Roundup
It is 3 in the morning and I am listening to the last show of the Weekend Roundup Thingy. I have some mixed emotions mainly because next week, will be a completely different show, or at least the set up for a completely different show and my Bro is leaving the site. All in all, it was a good run! Twenty-one shows and 6 months of hard work, good laughs. Not to mention the moments that made us go, “I can’t believe you went there!” *giggles*

Thanks to everyone who supported us. Bro, you were right, we were great partners! Who knows? I might have to give you a call in the future to do a real radio show with me! *winks*

If you think that the Weekend Roundup Thingy was a great show...You haven’t seen anything yet! *smiles*

Keep it Funky,
Lazy Urbs
Hello good lazy Samaritans of Urbanville! For your weekly motivational purposes I’m gonna challenge you to...


That’s right urbs, I’m frankly sick of seeing no one getting active in Urbanville. There has been a short burst of activity from the regulars, Afro_Chic and J_TRANE, the Urbocast duo, and in recent developments, Kaniswind has created his own form of representation by doing a video webshow. So give him props for trying to stand up with the great Afro_Chic and J_TRANE. This is a link for Kaniswind’s video cast:

There are some funky people getting up and doing something other than buying gear for themselves. So get out there, I mean seriously, draw for the gallery, it’s easy, I do it. Every Urb that does not do anything has some sort of excuse. I bet that every Urb that does pull their weight around this site has excuses as well; it’s whether or not they choose to use them.

Write for the Chronicles, I know not everyone can draw or produce a Davinci masterpiece, but I know for sure that any sane person is capable of at least trying to write an article for the Chronicles. It is simple and easy to do. It shows that you want to make the site better in some way and it shows that you want to prove to everyone you’re not just here for yourself.

I challenge you guys (those of you who are doing nothing) to do whatever it takes to get this water park pumping its regular water current. Get the kids out here playing and swimming. Keep it active and fun, and keep the sun shining over us. Do whatever it takes!

Ahem...Excuse me,

>> Ask Handsome



Dear Cap Locked and Frustrated,

For years Handsome has read articles like this. Handsome believes that the best way to get more involvement is to become more involved yourself. When Handsome wants a Lady to do something, first Handsome participates and then Handsome brings his Lady into it. By being the first to participate in something you are setting the way for others to join you. Once Handsome gets his Lady involved, then he starts to give her tasks to do. When she finishes her tasks, then Handsome turns the leadership role over to her so that she can lead the way. This way, Handsome’s Lady feels empowered and willing to continue her leadership position. In Handsome’s eyes, yelling at people is like yelling at a Lady, you will not get the response that you want and often you will end up in pain. If you are kind and you ease your Lady into a task then you will get the results that you desire. Handsome believes that this will work for the members of Urbanville.

Who’s Your Daddy? That’s Right, I Am!

Handsome U. Whantme