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Issue 136

Nov 10, 2008

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
November 9, 2008
Welcome to another Chronicles. It hasn’t been a long wait, I know. Remember there was a special Halloween issue. Don’t get too spoiled, we will go back to the bi-weekly editions. Thanks to the one vote I received in regards to UrbDoFunk, they are canceled. Now to the stories:

Poindexter discusses his plans as LoD’s new leader.

True_Nightmare interviews Poindexter about Summers’ missing computer.

Afro_Chic tells us why player participation helps the site.

Summers asks for help.

Hobbes creates an ode to the Chronicles.

I’m done. See you in 2 weeks.


The Masked Editor
>> Business
Evil is Approaching
Upon entering Urbanville I felt a sense of dread for I always faced persecution because of my intellect. I was not sure if Urbanville’s citizens would accept me or give me a super-sized wedgie and an uncomfortable swirly. Due to this fact, it was my plan to lurk in the shadows as an evil genius but I soon realized that GoatFist already had that job which crushed my nerdy heart. Instead of lounging around and tossing Johnny Law by his skivvies, it soon became my mission to make the voices of the nerds heard! Unfortunately, when it came time to host a convention, only a few of the nerdly elite showed for the others were at home playing video games. Now, I find myself the leader of the Lords of Darkness, or LoD and I have a new outlook on like, to crush everyone who is not a part of LoD, that is right, it is my new duty to prove my superiority over you all. I may seem like a friendly and easy going guy but deep down inside lurks the mind and the heart of an evil genius who understands that physically he will never gain enough strength to wrestle the titans like Soul_Corruptor or even Mayor_DaMan but what I lack in strength, I make up in intellect and mischievousness. Oh Urbanville, times have changed for soon the intellectuals will rule your fair city meaning soon LoD will prove its superiority over you all. Our numbers may be miniscule but the potential is there and it is brewing so heed my warning, don’t be surprised when you find that you were beaten at your own game by us. Beatniks, we will work hard until we beat you all at the arts. Vigilantes, keep your members close or else you will realize that you lost the UrboWars due to the fact that we recruited all of your members to the dark side. Heroes, once we figure out what you excel at we too shall beat you there. Heh. Nomad, go take a hike so you can find that we already owned the best land in Urbanville. The Family, I have the need to state that I do have respect for your group for some of your members have welcomed me to this site, but let us not forget that due to the treatment that I received from your group, I ended up wasting away with the Heroes for months, that is until LoD was form so let me state that my issue with you is more than just business for it is also personal. When the LoD first started many of you felt the need to wave us away and tell us that we were not going to amount to anything, yet here we are, we are still standing. You have been the only villainous organization for years and according to some of the old timers, you are a bunch of jokes whereas in the past you once had the respect of everyone. It will be my duty and the duty of the LoD members to bring the respect back to the word “Villain” through participation and thwarting our enemies one by one. Some of you may think of us as your younger brothers but let me assure you, this younger brother will not live in the shadow of the older one for we will not play Abel to your Cain which is why the offer by Dudeman was venomously rejected by all members. Urbanville a new dawn is approaching and it is filled with darkness and void, just like my heart. All hail the Lords of Darkness.

Urbanville Mystery
Thank you for taking the time to do this interview with me Poindexter. Now I know you’re a man with a mission so I’ll try to make this quick.

How do you know Summers?

I met Ms. Summers a while back, after a scary interaction with Surfer_Chick. Summers intervened and gave me some great advice.

True Nightmare
How would you describe her attitude and dedication to her work?

I would say that summers is very kind and giving, her dedication is strong when dealing with her work. She is a role model to all.

True Nightmare
If this is true, then why would somebody break into her office at the Chronicles and steal her stuff?

I suspect that it is out of jealousy, which is the motive behind most crimes such as this.

True Nightmare
Hmm jealousy, well what do you think about summers recently endorsing you, as the new leader of the LoD? I have heard rumors that somebody is blackmailing her into doing so, any comments on this?

It is unbelievable, for summers is a strong woman and she wouldn’t allow someone to force her into doing something that she didn’t believe.

True Nightmare
Good point, but why would a member of the Family wants to help out an organization that broke away from them?

That, my friend, is something that you will need to question summers about for she endorsed me on her own accord, I never asked her.

True Nightmare
That’s fair. Do you have any comments about the creepy phone message, on summers office phone and the note left on her car?

It is my hope that this deviant is captured; so that summers is able go back to keeping the site funky!

True Nightmare
Do you have absolutely any idea what summers could have written, that somebody would go as far as they have, just to attempt to prevent her article from coming out?

Heh, if I knew that information, then it is likely that someone would try to kidnap me next!

True Nightmare
Well thank you for your time and allowing me to interview you, Poindexter. Also my friend I would suggest that you not leave Urbanville, it might look kind of suspicious if you did.

Heh, they never expect the geek.

True Nightmare
Hmm very interesting Poindexter, very interesting indeed!
Keep it Funky
Sometimes I feel like a broken record. “Hey guys, if you want the site to change, you must change it!” “C’mon guys get active!” “Quit your complaining and do it yourself!” Some of you may wonder why. Well, let me get a lil out of character here and discuss why it is so important for members to active on the site.

You see, for most of you this is a game. It is fun. You come here to chill but to a small number of people, this is a business. It needs funding. Paychecks need to be paid. Advertisers and sponsors are vital! Well if you were a potential sponsor, would you sponsor a site where the members aren’t very active and only complain about the site? No, you wouldn’t.

The types of sites that are funded are the ones who have the potential to retain their current members as well as get others. What’s the point of wasting money advertising if no one is going to see it? Here’s a fun fact, did you know that radio was created to advertise items? That’s right, the radio and the television didn’t come first...The need to advertise did!

I know that Ira loves to show off the fact that his members love his site so much that they make other sites to support this one like UrbAid and UrbArt. It is easier for him to get outside people to believe the dream of Urbanville if they see us believing in it so if you have an idea, give it a spin! Who cares if it fails?! I believe that most cats are afraid of failure because they don’t want to fail in front of other members, but duuuuuuuuuuuh...It’s not like these people know you in real life! Besides, if you can’t take risks on a site where folks don’t know who you truly are then I would hate to live a day in your shoes. Must be boring and unfulfilling...

If you love Urb and you truly want it to succeed, then help make it awesome! Give Ira a reason to say to everyone, “Hey I have this site and my members are wonderful! Help fund it so it can stay alive!”

I believe in you all, don’t let me down! *winks*

Keep it Funky,

The Mistress of Funk
Urbanville Mystery Ad
Chronicles HQ has requested aid from fellow citizens of Urbanville. Do you have what it takes to solve a mystery? Can you write articles to help point us to the suspect? If so, please send your resume to J_Trane. There will be a reward for those wishing to participate. Please remember not everyone who wants to help will be able to.

Thank you

Chronicles HQ
>> Comics
Chronicles Submission: Still Twitching
Click Here!