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Issue 132

Sep 14, 2008

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Issue 1

>> Editorials

Dear Afro_Chic and J_Trane,

I never thought that the noise levels would elevate in Urbanville until you two twits decided to create an UrboCast. Am I the only one who would prefer to have a V-8? Or better yet, am I the only one here who would prefer to gouge my eyes out, kiss Handsome_UWhantme, and call Scoop my best friend in the world than listen to these insipid casts? When two people love to hear the sound of their own voice that is one thing. When these same people are given an opportunity to record themselves and then blast it to the world, that is a nuclear disaster. There, I said it, a nuclear disaster. They claim that they are giving the news but when you are dealing with ignorant listeners, they are too dense to realize that your news is biased. Anyone who knows anything about news knows that the best news is unbiased and straight to the point, unless it is an editorial. Feh. Afro_Chic and J_Trane I am happy that you have a following and I congratulate your success, but before I can call myself a fan, your UrboCasts must be something other than inane jokes and sleazy euphemisms. Stop catering to the lowest common denominator and challenge the minds of Urbanville's citizens. It will be tough, but you can do it. I cannot say that I have faith in you because I do not.


The Masked Editor

P.S. Your little venue will never replace the Chronicles. Ever.
I Quit
I Quit

That's right, I am saying that I quit. I am not doing it any more. I refuse
to be a part of it anymore.

Don't even ask me why, or what happened to cause this, but just know...

I quit reading any thread that says I quit, I am leaving, I am taking my
toys and going home.

For real, it is a complete waste of space and time. I want all those 30
seconds back where I read what you had posted. You never leave. You always
comeback to see who asked for you to stay.

I've yet to see someone who actually walked away, and say they were doing
it, stay away from the site.

You are not cool, no matter how many people asked you to stay. It is boring
and brings a negative vibe to the forums...

That's all I can say on that PEACE OUT!

Nurb off - BDIB,
>> Top Stories
The Second Urbolympics

This is Enaki, creator of the first Urbolympics here, to tell you that we're back! It's been a while, but the stadium is being prepared for all the great events we have for you in The Second Urbolympics! We have our classic events, such as Beatbot Boogie, Vicious Flip Out, Roof Ruckus and more. But we NOW have brand new events, such as Smell My Fart, Wedgie Toss 2, DJ Says, Which Way Is Up, and even much more!

And as always, The Urbolympics is a Team Event, where you can have 4 Members to your team, and 2 replacement members in case of emergency. We also have grand prizes to the winners of this contest, but we'll tell more about that later on. Our ranking system is still the same, which is 1st Place: Gold, 2nd Place: Silver, 3rd Place: Bronze, 4th Place: Chrome, and 5th Place: Plastic, but if we see a LOT more teams than we did last year, we may (and I mean MAY) add a SIXTH or even SEVENTH place division which may replace Gold and Silver: Diamond & Platinum (Since they are more valuable than Gold and Silver in real life). As soon as this hits the Chronicles, check the Challenges Area for the beginning of the Urbolympics. Here, you can register your team and place your team name. And please note that you do NOT have to be apart of an organization to join the Urbolympics, all you have to do is find 4-5 other people, decide on a team name, and enter your team into the Urbolympics!

The best part of the Urbolympics is that you DON'T have to be powerful to win this contest, all you have to do is be REALLY good at the games here in Urbaniacs to win! The rules and regulations will be presented in the Challenges section of the forums.

That's all to say for now, so get ready to play, and prepare your teams for competition! See you there!

Sincerely, Enaki Renraku
>> Comics
Rood Boyz

I m gettin tired of all the rood boyz on the site. ur going 2 drive me
insains. Even without Poiny in my life, i no what good man is like and
telling me that i look good and have nice thingies is not the way 2 swoooo
me. i m turning people n who say things that are rood. i hope all the
other lovely ladies do the same. and i guess u guys can do the same. tee


I'm getting tired of all the rude boys on the site. You are going to drive me insane. Even without Poindexter in my life, I know what a good man is like and telling me that I look good and have nice thingies is not the way to "sway" me. I'm turning people in who say things that are rude. I hope all the other lovely ladies do the same and I guess you guys can do the same. Tee hee.


Remember, grammar is our friend. It is not the enemy. No more translations, pick up a grammar for pete's sake!
>> Ask Handsome
Geek on the Run
Dear Handsome,

I am a gentleman of the nerdly persuasion with a deep concern for you see there is a vivacious vixen who has tried to sink her claws into me due to my potential income. How can I tell her to leave me be for this is turning into a fatal Urb attraction.

Graciously Yours,

Geek on the Run

Dear Geek on the Run,

Handsome has a hard time understanding something. You see, Handsome never has a problem with a Lady wanting to spend time with him. If you are having a problem with this Lady, you can give her to Handsome, because Handsome will make sure she forgets you. No Lady can resist Handsome and honestly Handsome doesn't understand how a Nerd could have a problem with a sweet sweet Lady wanting him. There isn't any advice here for having a Lady is never a problem unless there is a paternity test involved.

Who's Your Daddy? That's right, ME!

Handsome U. Whantme
>> Business
Diary of a Nerd
Each day it is the same schedule; I wake up, go to my lab, work on experiments, and plot hours upon hours. Often I wonder if this is how Goatfist got his start for if it is, I should be very careful about turning myself into a goat. As the days progress only one name ceases all my experiments and plotting: Puncherjoe. He has the brawn but my cranium packs a intellectual punch. I will thwart all of his heroic attempts if it's the last thing I do.

Precisely Yours,

Interview with Goddess
*A knock can be heard at the door. *

Summers: Come in.

*Goddess enters the room with a smile on her face.*

Goddess: I hear you wanted to do an interview with me. My time is limited but I'd always take time for a family member.

Summers: Awesome, well have a seat. There is a bottle of water if you need it.

*Goddess takes a seat and opens the bottle of water.*

Summers: For those who are reading can you state your name your rank?

Goddess: Goddess_de_Nocturne, just call me Goddess.

Summers: What made you decide to take over leader of the villains?

Goddess: Well I'm working with the Family to bring the funk back and end the drama.

Summers: What are some of the changes you have made?

Goddess: I am giving the Family input and making decisions for our future not just the moment. In the situation we are in nothing happens overnight. My suggestion to everyone is, patience people.

Summers: Since you are the first female leader, do you feel you've encountered more opposition?

Goddess: I am actually surprised at the lack of opposition. I think I have my Systers to thank for that. They have been really supportive and would probably crush anyone who even thought of slandering me. I have also tried a different approach. I don't want to be a tyrannical leader. I care about what people have to say and take their thoughts into consideration when making decisions.

Summers: Since you became VVL, you've been the most outspoken. How have you been dealing with suggestions from other villains?

Goddess: I am trying to listen to every suggestion with an open mind. Some ideas are not so good for the Family in general or the site. I am not running a dictatorship, but I have to make good decisions that benefit everyone. Sometimes it is not the easiest thing to do, nor am I very popular for it. I am doing my best and learning as I go.

Summers: What are your plans to bring the funk back into the family and still have them keep their evil ways?

Goddess: This is the hardest part and the area where I get the least input. Everyone wants domination and destruction. We have few choices in actions that we can actually take against our foes, but I'm working on it. An infusion of new members will help a lot. My first challenge to the Family is to bring in new people. We need new ideas that can only come from a fresh perspective.

Summers: What are some of the positive things you see in the future for the family?

Goddess: A Family devoted to evilness, supported by several dispositions. All of us working together to control the town and find the balance of our "evil funk."

Summers: What are your thoughts on the LoD?

Goddess: I wish them well. Outlaw was a very promising LOS member and it was a shame he left. We all have our own paths to follow, his wasn't with the Family.

Summers: What would you like to see from other dispos?

Goddess: Quit complaining or stating that the villains don't do anything. Stop saying what have you done lately? Place bigger better challenge to us as a dispo in some way...

Summers: At one time you were thinking about coming up with a new title for the VVL. Have you decided on a new name?

Goddess: Nope still working on it. Do you have any suggestions?

Summers: Not at this time but I'll keep it in the back of my mind. Maybe I can come up with something.

Summers: What made you decide to change the title?

Goddess: What girl wants to have the word Vile associated with them?

Summers: What words of encouragement do you have for the aspiring LoS members waiting to become family?

Goddess: Work hard, we do notice you. Right now things are kind of crazy. Your loyalty will be rewarded. Be proud of your choices and know that the Family does appreciate you.

Summers: Recently I started a forum to get a new sign off for GoatFist. What are your thoughts on it and do you think he will actually pick one of them?

Goddess: I have my favorites of the ones posted so far, I laughed really hard at "Bleat This." I think if someone comes up with something really original he might actually use it. He is in serious need of new material.