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Issue 131

Aug 17, 2008

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
The Swap Meet
The Swap Meet is up! We repeat, the Swap Meet is up!

With that said, we now return you to your regular scheduled program...Or uhm, the Chronicles!

The Chronicles Staff
Contest for Newbies

Greetings Urbs and Urbettes! Have you been playing for 30 days or less? Would you like a chance to win a TP or some gear? If you answered "Yes" to these questions, then head over to the Newbies Forum and enter The Divulge Your Dispo Contest For Newbs! All you have to do is tell me why you chose your disposition!

Better hurry as this contest ends on the 24th of August! Stay tuned next month for another contest just for you Newbs.

If you have any questions, send them to me (Sykick) or to Naturedude00.
Rap Battle Winner

Sup Urbanville!

The Rap Contest has come to an end and with the help of a random poll given to the Urbanville community, it seems as though Love_Child's rap has stolen the hearts of Urbanville! Don't forget to send her some props! She is not only the winner of a +50 tp and 2 million urbos, but she will also wrap her pink lovin' fingers around that HomeBoy Trophy! Congrats Lovey Love! *winks* You had the flow and that captured everyone's attention!

Poindexter, most cats dug your topic and as the first Nerdy competitor you held your own! Good luck next time and congrats on winning 2nd place! I'm going to personally hook you up with 1 million urbos and a +5 tp.

DudeMan, folks dug your rap but felt it was more like a poem. Good try! I would hook you up but c'mon I wouldn't want to insult your villainous lifestyle.

Fro_Shizzle, we wish you a speedy recovery Homey! Since you weren't around you missed the rap guidelines, etc. Hopefully you will be stronger and healthier for the next Rap Battle!

For those who are interested, here is a rap from the winner!

Keep it Funky,


P.S. B.D.i.B! *smiles*

Some call me Goddess, others call me Sis,
Some say LC, other times it's Miss.

(Paging Miss Love Child, paging Miss Love!)

Don't worry, I ain't having an identity crisis,
I know I'm the pink-haired, modern day Isis.
I dee-jay by day so I can get paid,
But in my spare time I work on Urb Aid.
I bribe Urbs to make a creative start,
And set up the site for oekaki art.

(That's I repeat,

Beatniks Do It Better is my battle cry,
And if you wanna know, I will tell you why.
Our personalities shine near and far,
We rise from the rest like a shooting star.
Wanna be in a cool crowd, funky and wild?
You're gonna have to roll with... Love_Child!
>> Editorials
Straight up Glitched
Wow, that has been the keyword as of late here on Urb. And I am not going to apply it to any of the Coding. The new Glitch is in the thinking of the players. The sense of entitlement. The desire to cheat the system. The "Give-me" generation that is recently invading Urb. And the lack of people to stop them.

When I say people, I am not talking about anyone that gets paid by(or pays for) the site. I am talking about everyone who passes a code, complains that something isn't the way you want it to be, and generally becomes an annoyance to the site. You are SUCKING THE FUNK from the site.

I am tired of having this Conversation about every 6 months. I am sickened by the way that the old Urbs are turning a blind eye to most actions. And there are some that are inciting this behavior by ridiculous behavior of their own. And it isn't reserved to one Disposition or two. It is site wide, where someone is bringing the Funk Down a notch.

So there is the rant, now what is the solution?

I don't know anymore. Never mind the Game, this is about the players. How can YOU make Urb a funkier place? Why are YOU not doing it yet?

I am going to start a thread. If you have an Idea, post it there. If I can help you make it come true, I will do what is in my power. Lets kill this glitch and help make Urb Funky again.

Nurb Off,
>> Business
As the "special" needs half of the kick butt Team who produces the amazing Urb Weekend Round Up Thingy, I would like to thank everyone who sent words of praise. For those who want to know how we do it, this is your day.

You will need a recording program, (we use audacity, it is open source and has amazing edit features)

A microphone (How else are you going to record yourself)

And a Message, Seriously if you just try to jump out and scream you are the greatest... and blah blah blah... you are not going to make it. (Sorry GoatFist, you can stop sending in your submissions, they suck!)

Record it, export it to an MP3 and submit it to the Gallery. Maybe the Mayor will post it for all to hear!

And until next time, check the recent episodes on

A big thanks to Love_Child!

Nurb Off,
Official Goverment Press Release.
On behalf of the President, Congress, and the Octagon,

I feel I am at liberty to reveal to the citizens of Urbanville why there was a time fluctuation which caused the city of Urbanville to go back in time.

A secret military project was in progress at Fort Urb. The facility was then broken into at approximately tea time by well trained culprits, who believe to be members of a known evil faction called The Family headed by GoatFist.

The Items that were stolen had the power to change time and one of these were let off. Four others were stolen.

The President and Defense Secretary have alerted the Defense force with Def-con Delta, and Urbanville has been brought under Quarantine whilst the Government is trying to retrieve the stolen equipment and we refuse to explain what we were going to use them for.
>> Comics
Stick It!: The Bugs
Puncherjoe: Family Ties pt. 2
Interviewer: Please state your Alter ego.
Punchermoe: This is a real nice room you got here. Nullifies my powers, keeps me from breaking you. And it smells like lilacs.

IN: Answer the question. Please.
PM: And what question would that be? My alter ego? You already know who I am. Punchermoe. If you didn’t know, shame on you. What type of cop are you?

IN: I’m not a cop. I just work for an agency that is very interested in you and your family. The alter ego question is just something that had to be asked.
PM: Wait, so let me get this straight. You…. no, your bosses decide to attack me with fighter jets, drug me, and then have me stare at your ugly mug? I feel so cooperative right now.

IN: I’m sure you do. The quicker you answer, the quicker we let you go.
PM: 42. The answer is 42. Can I go now?

IN: Cute. What are your super powers?
PM: I hoped that would work. My powers include super strength, Control over Rocks, Flight. The armor, which was so unceremoniously taken from me when I was drugged, gives me control over fire, ice, wind, and; electricity. It also amplifies my strength, comes equipped with a stun gun. Oooh and it can copy the powers of any of my lackeys. I mean associates. Now can I go?

IN: No. Your suit is eerily similar to that of ”Prometheus X-5”. Care to say why?
PM: Finally, we get to the good stuff. See, Prometheus was not the most loyal, sane or smartest peon. He had enough power to enslave a city and he spends that power on banks? Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful he was an idiot, he made me rich. So, one day he finds out what I have planned for him, and that is his slow and agonizing termination. So he tries to attack me, tries being the key word. He hits me with everything he has, but it’s just a tickle to me. After I get done laughing, I decide to punish him for his insubordination nice and slow. A real good stress reliever. After I dump him in the desert, I decide to take back every gift I’ve given him. Including the armor.

IN: If I recall, Prometheus was associated with that armor before he was associated with you. So, how is it your “gift?”
PM: Are you sure? Ya see I’m the reason He was what he was. The burns on 90% of his body, his state of mind, and the life of crime he entered, were all done by me and one teeny tiny itty bitty pebble. I turned a lowly little military private into a super villain. Don’t you just love me for it?

IN: Wait. So you destroyed a man’s life, his mind, and eventually the man himself...All because...Why?
PM: Because I could. Because I wanted to.

IN: Uhm. Puncherjoe, aka your brother. What can you tell us about him?
PM: What is there to tell? He’s an egotistical little runt who thinks he can win a fight against me. The only thing is I don’t want to fight him, but I don’t want to see him happy. If pain is the only way to keep him from living his life, in all senses of the term, then so be it.

IN: Is that so? Then my bosses might have a job for you.
PM: Is that so? Then let’s discuss it. Turn off the tape recorder.