Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 126

May 25, 2008

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!

Issues

Issue 210

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Top Stories
L.A. Roller Derby Interview
I recently had the chance to sit down and talk to one of the newest Urbaniacs, and more importantly an Urb-sponsor. Feh! Like you really care. Either way, listen and learn.

M_E: What is this Roller Derby anyways?

LADD: A roller derby match is composed of two teams of five players each: four blockers and one jammer. Points are scored when a jammer breaks through the pack, races ahead to rejoin the back of the pack, then attempts to jam through once again scoring a point for each opponent passed. The jammer has 60 seconds to score. The game consists of two halves, each half has two 12-minute periods. Thus, a blocker will try to knock down or get in the way of opposing blockers to help their own jammer score as well as trying to knock down the opposing jammer. A jammer is also allowed to knock down the opposing jammer if they need or want to. You can also see video of what we do all over youtube and on our main page at https://derbydolls.com/la/index.html

Roller Derby is currently the fastest growing women's sport across the nation. At least one team can be found in each state across the U.S. as well leagues springing up internationally. You can find links to several of sites of our derby brethren on our links page at https://derbydolls.com/la/links/index.html


M_E: A Question from Handsome - How may fine ladies make up a team?

LADD: There are 15 players on each team, 5 will play each jam unless there was a penalized player from the jam directly preceding.

M_E: Feh, Handsome would as a question like that. GoatFist wanted to know where he can see you whoop some butt at, serving it to the, and I quote, "Lolly Licking Losers" ?

LADD: Currently we play at the Doll Factory in Los Angeles, located at 1910 Temple St.

M_E: Who can get involved?

LADD: Anyone who has the guts to. Currently you have to be 21 and older to join Freshmeat. We provide the gear, you provide the attitude.

This summer we are offering a Jr. Roller Derby Camp for girls ages 9-17. No skating experience is necessary, we will teach you how to skate and then how to knock people down on those skates. If you are interested you can check out our myspace page at

https://www.myspace.com/laddjrderbydolls

and direct any questions to [email protected]


M_E: I appreciate your time, and can say I was startled to see that you laid out Handsome in the hallway with one punch. Feh. He needed it.
Righteous Rachel Shakes Surfer_Chick's Pink Dreams
When this smooth reporter laid his sexy hazels on Righteous Rachel, one name came to his dome, Afro_Chic. Is it me or does she look like the direct offspring of the Mistress of Funk? The apple doesn't fall far from the funk and Righteous Rachel carries the physical looks of Ms. Chic while her cranky demeanor reminds a brother of Iron_Pants. So the real question is, who is Afro_Chic's real daughter?

I needed to know so after disguising myself as a nurse, I slipped into Urbanville's top hospital to investigate. What I found shocked me to the core and could change Christmas in two different cribs. Rachel and Surfer were both born at that hospital. The same day. The other couple carrying a bundle was none other than Jenny and Johnny Law. Yup, ya heard it here. That night Johnny and Jenny were also having a baby.

As a reporter, a brother must say that there wasn't any records of younguns being switched at birth but if you got two eyes and common sense you can see who belongs with whom. It doesn't take Maury to tell a brother who's the father and mother of each child!

It is 10 o'clock. Are ya sure you know where your kids are? Afro_Chic and Iron_Pants don't and that's fo' sho!

Holla at your Boy!

Scoop
>> Business
Urbowars: Pick Your Side!
Urbowars, is it just a game or time for the lines to be drawn? With the promise of a monthly prize the leaders of individual groups are asking their members to change their disposition. Gone are the days when each group allows their members to the freedom to choose their own. Now if you refuse to side with your group, you might find yourself out on the street or the subject of ridicule. That's just in the Family.

The real question is, once the month of May passes, who will be the legitimate winners in June? In addition, with all the pressure of changing one's disposition, will the Urbowars be responsible for a massive disposition exodus? Only time will tell!
Funk ALT Ad
The Funk Chronicles


Click the picture to see the actual size.
>> Comics
Stick It! Big Dogs?
Kingz's jokes!


Hey Urbaniacs, I thought that Urbaniacs needed something else added to the Chronicles so I want to add a few jokes!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon getting out of here!


If you have any jokes you want to share with the whole of Urbanville send me them and I'll put them up and :'ll say who they are from. ;)