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Issue 117

Feb 19, 2008

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
The Family vs. Hustle Alliance Battle
This is Honnah Lee back from a forced vacation to find myself covering one of the biggest events of the 2008 year! I believe that the glass ceiling was broken, don't you? Now it's time to bring in more female reporters. The Boy's Club is starting to sicken me.

On Saturday, January 5, two of the biggest groups met on the battle grounds. Actually, the Hustle Alliance crew (that consisted of MrAnderson, Iron_Pants, Flaming_Hair_Jim, and DarkAng3L) arrived first while the Villains (DudeMan, goddess_de_nocturne, Kleep85, J_Trane) showed up 30 minutes late. How villainous! The fight that took place on the battle grounds didn't hold a candle to what was happening in the forums!

The outside "drama" starred DudeMan who claimed that since Afro_Chic was once a member of the Family, she should fight for the Family. Of course Afro_Chic denied that summons. The other huge battle was over the stipulation that stated, "Anyone listed in the group's membership threads (meaning past and present members) is eligible to fight (minus GoatFist and the Mayor, of course)." Honestly, one wonders how a straightforward line can fall prey to various incorrect interpretations! DudeMan wasn't the only one trying to fan the flames. Many of the other male Villains lent their voices to the mayhem causing the Hustle Alliance to cry out, "STOP WHINING AND LEARN HOW TO READ!"

In the best 2 out of 3 and with most of the power players sitting out or MIA, the Hustle Alliance took this win easily. Even without gear (a.k.a. a pity play) in the second battle the Hustle Alliance demolished the weaker Villains who showed up bravely to represent their team. To borrow a term that J_Trane used, this group was like lambs thrown to the wolves. One wonders, besides Soul_Corruptor who voiced his cocky accusations that the decks were stacked because he wasn't allowed to battle, how the other villainous yet absent Titans felt about the crushing lost.

In this humble reporter's opinion, on that night the Villains showed Urbanville their true colors and lost the respect of many. Although J_Trane and even goddess won the award for losing gracefully, the tears and preschool behaviors of DudeMan and Kleep85 eclipsed them both and made this night one of the most pitiful displays from the Family.

Hopefully the next battle will offer better examples of sportsmanship and poise.

Until next time Urbanville, URB ON!
Press Release
"The embarrassing defeat of The Family shows that there is something lacking in the Oldest Group on Urbaniacs. Leadership is not where it should be. The group has fallen from the laurels of victory to a pitiful whining bunch."

This is what the co-founder of the Family, J_Trane, told a brother after I interviewed him after the battle. When I asked him what would he do to help change it, he told me that he decided to call for a nomination to elect a leader to show the Villains the path to evil with honor.

Nominations have already began to pour into his urbograms and he is expecting a battle to determine the deserving leader.

Nomination will close at 12AM UST on the 1/20/08. Nominees will be announced and then the campaigning and debates will begin.

February 3rd will be the time when the new leader will be inducted.

Remember Villains to get out and vote.

You've just got the scoop from Scoop! Holla at your boy!
Funked Up! Continued
Funked up part 4

So in the time I got to play a villain, I learned a few lessons about my enemies. They really do live in the cool underground lair. Its full of fun funky things down there. They have a sauna, Jacuzzi, and even a pool table. So while we are up here trying to figure out how to get them, they are down there. They are planning revenge for their next victim. Always plotting a way to try and stay ahead of the game. Constantly keeping their map updated of battles they won and those they lost.
In the short few times I got to meet GoatFist he was all in a fury how we were not working hard enough. Guess he still got his panties in a bunch. Hahahah, naw Mr. GoatFist you will always be remember as the Grinch. Awww, but before I left I had to fix your trophy GoatFist. I wonder how long it will take before they see the add clay to his forehead. I made him look like he was frowning because that is the way I always saw him.

So to all my Urbaniac friends what do you say. I’m waiting for more of that funky, funk to come out so we can all play.

So has the funk left Urbanville? NO! Its been right here in every player. Everything they type, play a game, role play in the forums, and even trash talk each other in the forums. Right there is the funk that is going on.

And at long last.:

For me to answer the questions that is on everyone’s lips. Has summer bumped her head or is this the 24 hour villain flue? No, I didn’t bump my head, although GoatFist did give me a mighty kick. No, I don’t have a 24 hour villain flue. I just had and undercover job to do. Do I have regret for switching to a villain? No, not when your working, you do what you must.
And so as I stroll threw Urbantown I will be hated among many, but loved amongst most. Forever a vigi with one goal in mind. That is to help keep this funky town alive.
So now mom, are ya happy, I’m back where I belong.

Your ever loving Summers
>> Editorials
What to Do in Urbanville
This isn't going to be one of my regular editorials. You don't like me. I loathe you. It's been put out there from time to time. Everyone gets it. Except for the intellectually challenge, but eventually someone will explain it to those dimwits.

I watched the battle last night. Interesting. I saw Villains whining. That disgusted me. The Heroes were taunting them. Makes sense. When the average person taunts, they use words. When a Hero taunts, they use a drunk who plays with dolls. Disturbing.

Yet, this is the best entertainment Urbanville has had in a long time. In one night Urbanville had drama, suspense, excitement, and even fun. That night everyone stopped bringing their problematic lives onto the site. Feh, that night Urbanville turned into the place that the old fossils, known as the Big Dogs, often reminisce about while they wait for their prunes to work.

We need more days like this. Heh, minus the whining. Family, I guess you still haven't grown a pair. Here's a lesson, don't accept battles if you aren't satisfied with the stipulations. It's called common sense and you don't have it.

With that being said, if you find yourself bored in Urbanville, do anything but complain. Please, I'm tired of the nonsensical tripe.

The Masked Editor
>> Business
Yearbook, take two!

First, let me thank the lovely ladies, KissThis and DarkAng3L, for starting the yearbook for this year. Thank you ladies, you rock!

I know many of you are wondering about who won. I also know that more of you are upset because you didn't get a chance to vote; well, now you can.

Now everyone can. We at City Hall have decided to revamp the Yearbook, meaning it's not going to be the way you remember it. There is talk of creating a page to list the past and present winners. In addition, the lovely and gorgeous Love_Child will be designing the trophies. That's right, if you win this time around, you will receive a trophy. Don't worry, if you won the previous years, you too will receive a trophy.

I must not forget to mention the new categories. I'm tired of trying to think about a King and Queen for every category, how about you? From now on, the women and the men are squaring off! If you are the best Villainess, why do you need a scrub of a Villain on your arm? If you are the best Hero, the only woman you should want on your arm is your woman, not some chick who won randomly!

For more information on how the vote will be tallied and the new categories, click below:

The Yearbook

Gone are the days when there were 2 people who propped or dissed the most. This isn’t the yearbook that the Big Dogs remember!

It's a new day and a new yearbook!

Keep if Funky!

The Mistress of Funk
Gear for the Gearless
It's your boy Scoop coming to you with a funky fresh idea!

Gear for the Gearless!

This is how it works:

1. Out of the kindness of your heart you buy extra gear.
2. You send it to me.
3. Members who can't buy the gear contact me.
4. If they meet the requirements, they get gear.
5. The site gets more support.
6. Your heart gets warm and junk.
7. You aren't bothered by beggars.

If you're interested, give me a holla! Yo, if you have any suggestions on what the requirements should be, let a brotha know! The last thing any of us want is for a cat to get their grubby hands on our gear only to bounce! That ain't right.

You just got the scoop from your boy, Scoop!