Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?
Send it our way!
>> Top Stories
The Urbanville 12: Part 11
The Urbanville 12: Part 11: Clue 1
The Urbanville 12: Part 11: Clue 2
The Urbanville 12: Part 11: Clue 3
The Urbanville 12: Part 11: Clue 4
The Urbanville 12: Part 11: Results
A Word From Darkest Hour
Seems as though there are some scurrying going on in the world of Urbanvillain. A select few of the Vigilantes have come out of hiding and have started posting in the Urbanville Streets, thanks to Frizzmeister, Mistress of Frizz, ehhh whatever her name is nowadays. It was an assignment of theirs to call out the Heroes. Well seeing as how there are very few active Heroes anymore, the Villains decided to jump in and activate the thread for them. Thank you Frizz for sending those poor boys and girls to their impending doom. If you're going to teach them something, could it at least be how to insult and/or talk smack? They're a pitiful lot really. They do deserve some credit for taking their first baby steps outside the Vigilante forum though. It was a Kodak moment watching them teeter side to side stumbling along, all puffed up thinking they had accomplished something of worth. The two or three remaining Heroes decided to form yet another encrypted group within the Hustle Alliance. The dark and mysterious HUU. Hustlers Undecided of Urbanville? We know we're Heroes, but we have no guidance or direction anymore so let's rename what we do have, update our list and rename it. Pitiful. But at the very least it gives Flaming something to do besides whine in the forums.
The Villains, of course are as strong and as prominent as ever. I log on each day and see them as active as usual. Their presence is still felt in the forums dominating each thread worthy of our postings. Soul Corrupter has even come out of the woodwork and has been sighted more often. Good to see you back Soul. Now I will have to admit people seem to be getting a bit more active. Posting more and more in the forums. Trash talking one another. Creating different contests and such. And it's in the air that there are big changes in store for our community, with the sighting of ElSid and that "urb on testing" name being seen in recent sightings. Sid was even seen in the battle arena checking out how battles are run (experienced him firsthand). Sid, if I can give you one piece of advice though, being a programmer and wanting to interact with the community is fine, but most here are under the impression that you should start a bit lower than you are now stat-wise. You can't really get the feel for things if you just start yourself off as a super mega stat nomad. Bring yourself down among the common folk and see what it's like to have to die in a battle and gain some of your stats in training and TP's like we all have done. If you have no clue how it works then how can you help improve on it?
Oh, I almost forgot to mention the hippieerrrr, beatniks of the site. What're they doing? (The both of them). Does anyone even know or care? I'm sure Funk Alt is still around, someplace. Okay they got what they're worth in being mentioned. If anyone has sighted anything creative as of late, give them credit for it. There. That should sate them until next time they actually do anything. Maybe Affy can change her bird's nest up top and get rid of those pompoms since she's gotten an upgrade. I'm guessing it wouldn't really matter though it'll still be a source of amusement for all.
One last parting shot. The Villains have been working on something big behind the scenes in downtown Urbanvillain which we'll unveil in the near future which should shake a few things up. Okay now Heroes and Vigis alike, you know the feeling you just got reading that line? Thatâ€¦yeah, right, sure you are and we're so impressed feeling? That smirk that crossed your face? Now you have an idea of how we feel reading your cryptic messages supposedly intended for the new members of that new thing y'all are doing. Nothing is going to shake up this site until the new upgrades are in place. The best we can hope for from our members is more postings in the forums, more battles being created to claim bragging rights for our own dispositions, more interdispo contests. More people choosing their own nemesis and out battling them to show who has total dominance among us. So stop sitting on your laurels and make something happen or simply set there and wait for ElSid to do something for us and claim you're doing behind the scenes work to set us on our toes, so we can at least smirk at your posts
Pick up Your Pens
Recently, I wrote what you're about to see, as a way to....Rally people to write for the Chronicles.
So here it is. In all it's self promotiony glory.
Have we truly become that lazy, that we put the Chronicles on strike? Have we become so Reliant on Scoop, Handsome, & even the Masked Editor, that we can no longer write a simple article? We're all capable of writing, so why aren't we?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I've written every week for the Chronicles, but in the past there was a time you looked at the Chronicles, You'd see an article by numerous writers myself included. So, again, I ask why aren't we writing?
What happened to tales of mothers placing themselves under cars just to see there superhero kids? What happened to tales of the Urbs who paved the way for us? What happened to hales of the misunderstood Henchling? Ask yourselves these questions As you look at this weeks Chronicles. Ask yourselves these questions as you write.
(Oh & ask yourself "Whatever happened to Punchermoe?" Shameless self promotion, I know.)
The "Big" Strike
So all the Urbaniacs writers and beatniks have decided to go on strike from writing. I say, who cares! I mean, who really reads anything that Handsome U. Wantme writes anyway? His articles are all about taking your questions and then turning it around to talk about himself and give some useless advice.
As for the Masked Editor, his writing was interesting the first few weeks, and then it became just a sad rant on the same thing over and over. Try finding some new material and then maybe weâ€™ll be sad when you go on strike. Chances are that his next article has something to do with someone who wrote him an urbogram that he didnâ€™t like or about how some disposition is not living up to his standards. Big deal!
The Beatniks that write basically just make up stories that only their friends care about. This means if you arenâ€™t friends with Afro Chic, Love Child or DarkAng3L, chances are you donâ€™t really care what they have written anyways.
The only thing I look for in the Chronicles nowadays is for the new Urbanville 12 contest so that I might have a chance at a nice prize. JuicyFruit might write some funny gossip here and there, and thatâ€™s cool, because at least sheâ€™s trying to spice things up. Otherwise, all thatâ€™s left to read is junk movie reviews from The Masked Movie Critic and some more made up stories that mirror what the Beatniks do but just not as professional looking.
I might actually read the Chronicles if someone would write some actual news stories. For instance, maybe some of the news that shows up in city hall would be better suited in the Chronicles, like when a new character arrives or new items show up. Also, actually talking about what is going on in the forums might be a nice change. Maybe instead of having to read through three pages of fighting back and forth between factions in the forums, people could write up what happened here instead.
Iâ€™m not saying that all of the regular stories that the Beatniks write need to stop, but really, to make a more enjoyable paper, try to think of your audience for once. Not everyone really wants to read about how your sidekick has random adventures. If you want to do that, maybe you should try and make a weekly web comic to post in the Chronicles. At least then if the story is boring weâ€™ll have some pretty pictures to look at!
One night not so long ago a man walked across the street and into the first darkened doorway he spied. Hearing the door creak on the hinges as it swung open, he looked around at the disarray. Papers strewn helter skelter, chairs tipped over, lamps laying on the floor next to the massive oak desks, shards of glass from the shattered bulbs surrounding them... Flicking on the flood light in hand he cast the strong beam of light all around the room, from corner to corner, floor to ceiling nodding his head in approval.
"This looks like a good place to set up shop" he thought to himself, imagining the hustle and bustle of people moving from desk to desk, the clacking of typewriter keys striking blank sheets of paper, leaving their imprint of the past weeks activities. Hearing orders barked out to various people. Closing his eyes a moment to inhale and smell the fresh scent of the ink rolling off the newsprint. Opening his eyes, he knew that what once was would be once again. The former shell of the Chronicles office would serve as the foundation of the new paper of the city. Bringing Urbanville into the 21st century and out of the antiquated days of old. This would be the new office of The Urbanville Register. Toting the days top headlines, opinions of the people in the street, bring all the new fresh funkiness to life. Tales of old and reports of the newness happening in town.
It was time to start cleaning he thought as he smiled to himself.
To be continued....