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Issue 107

Oct 7, 2007

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
Bank Interest
Recently I was elected Deputy Mayor of the fine city of Urbanville. I promised action during the election and here we are, barely a week later, and changes are happening.

You may have noticed that the bank is no longer offering its sweet heart rate of 10% on your savings accounts, instead offering a still better than normal 7%. I know this isn't the sort of change most people would ask for, but in the long run I think it will become obvious that what we're doing is the right thing for all Urbaniacs.

The simple way of explaining why this rate change occurred is this; it had become too easy to get rich in Urbanville. I remember back when I was just a noob, fresh out of law school, starting without any gear or sense of purpose. There was no bank to save money in and there were a lot less ways to make Urbos. It was a great accomplishment every time you saved enough to buy an item, you really felt excited that you'd managed to finally buy that item that was a little out of your price range. I had to play every game every day, sometimes for weeks before I could afford to get some of my early gear. It was one of the things that made the site so fun.

We're not going all the way back to that set of circumstances, there are lots more games with higher earning limits now, and we still have a bank paying interest on your urbos. However we at City Hall felt we had to scale back just how easy it had become. Getting every item you want within your first month on the site sounds great, but once you've got everything, what else is there to look forward to? See, making it too easy leads to that situation where suddenly you have nothing to aspire for on the site and then it just gets boring for a lot of people. Boring is something we are constantly trying to prevent in Urbanville. It's the number 1 killer of Urbaniacs after all.

Things like this aren't easy for us in City Hall to decide to do, but we have to make tough decisions about what is best for Urbanville in the long run, even if people don't like them in the short term. We'll continue to execute a long term plan that assures Urbanville will continues to grow. Hopefully every citizen will be able to see that it's for the best.

So look at the bright side of the current issue; most Urbaniacs got to take advantage of an amazing interest rate for a nice long while, and hopefully they used it to save up some urbos for a rainy day.
Congratulations, mad props, and a big Urbaniacs welcome are in order for the recently appointed Mistress of Funk. You may know her as Afro_Chic, and you've seen her work our city. Now Afro_Chic is an official member of the Urbaniacs Team, helping out with a lot of behind the scenes work and making a lot of positive contributions to the site experience overall. Feel free to ask her any questions. Like Mayor_DaMan, Synjen, and Jenq, she'll be an impartial player working for better funknitude in our fair city. Thanks to the Mistress of Funk, there will be some big changes coming soon. Feel free to send her an Urbogram and test her knowledge of Urbanville. Stay tuned for more, keep it funky, and Urb ON!

Urbanville City Council Ad
September Rap Battles
The September Rap Battles ended with a volley of verbal attacks, a battle of skill and will, hard rhymes and punch lines, and I have to say, I enjoyed each and every post!

Quite obviously some could not take the pressure and had to bow out in the final round, either that, or got royally clowned.

This left 4 outstanding entrants:

Breaker who got the ball rolling, and held nothing back.

Gizmo_Tracer, a lyrical genius, who favors attack.

Kali_Maa, my home girl, leaving all others in mourning.

And Afro_Chic whose lyrics were preceded with a warning.

Unfortunately, there can be only one winner of the Homeboy trophy, and it goes to a returning champion:


Congratulations, take a bow, and receive your accolades. 2nd and 3rd were EXTREMELY hard to pick, as all 4 rhymers were exceptional, however not everyone can win a prize.

2nd place goes to a verbally venomous Afro_Chic.

Finally 3rd place goes to a person whose final lines made me smile and laugh, Kali_Maa.

Congratulations to all that made it to the final round, every last one of you is a winner in my book.
The Urbanville 12: Part 8

The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #1
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #2
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #3
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #4
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Results
>> Business
Like Me Series: The Wrap Up
Due to my new job and the fact that I am no longer a part of the Hustle Alliance, I feel that it’s time to wrap up my Like Me series. Boy did I have a lot of fun! I also received a lot of bruises and threats, but it’s all good! I learned a lot from my weekly adventures. Here’s a list of some of them:

1. Urbanville Men are disgusting but when there aren’t any women around, they are down right, straight up NASTY!

2. Little kids have very good memories. Da Man’s kid still hasn’t talked to me and that’s after a few trips to Funk’s Depot and a pet Henchling. Sheesh!

3. Jenny Laws are grumpy because they have to wear high heel shoes and extra tight skirts while living in a cult-like situation and being forced to wait on Johnny Laws hand and foot. Pfft! Someone call a Women’s Liberation group! We have some work to do!

4. Never trust a big butt and a smile cuz that girl is poison! *thinks* No wait, Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me that.

5. The females in the Family truly run the group and are quite evil...Until you trip them down a flight of stairs. Then they become funny bouncing objects of entertainment. *giggles*

6. The Masked_Editor is obsessed with the Wizard of Oz because like the Wizard, he’s nothing but a big head filled with hot air that hides a little insignificant man behind it.

7. Sidekicks are people too, yo, and if they feel that you goin’ overboard, ya needs to listen! Sometimes ya gets wrapped up in your own craziness to realize ya needs help!!

*slaps Preston’s hands away from the keyboard*

Cute. Very cute, Chico! *rolls eyes*

Anyways, I enjoyed my time learning about how the “others” live in Urbanville. Who knows? I may pick this series up in the future, much to Preston’s chagrin!


>> Politics
GoatFist Unmasked?

Click Me!
>> Comics
The good, the bad and...Everything in between

Good news: 8 out of 10 Urbaniacs hope to feel the funk some day.

Bad news: There's only one Mistress of FUNK in this town and she is rocking one sexy body.
The Hep Cat Chill Spot
Ending Message
*As you read this weeks Chronicles the page turn black. From the blackness of this page an image of agentdeath shows is this sign, a warning. or a message. It means agentdeath is about to do something big beyond his normal condition. Before you close it the image of agentdeath loops the sentence "Your end has come." You quickly turn the page back only to find this was truly a message of death and destruction.*