Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 106

Oct 1, 2007

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!


Issue 210

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Top Stories
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Results

Only 3 made da cut! But at least she was caught!

The Urbanville 12: Part 7
On Sept 29th, The Legal Eagle was declared Urbanville's first Deputy Mayor. Two days later, he was already so overwhelmed; he had to appeal to the masses for trash talking material. Seems as though Turkey Butt is no longer able to handle his arch-nemesis; not that he ever could handle the hottest coolest chirp in Urbanville whom we all affectionately call Affy.

Taking an extremely abbreviated look back at the mayoral debate, there were ominous signs foreshadowing this performance pressure issue.

When asked what topics where most welcome in the forums, the TLE had this to say:

I think it comes down to a thread by thread basis.

If that's not passing the buck, then I don't know what is. On the issue of treating each disposition evenly:

I don't see it needing to happen often.

This bodes ill for Urbanville to say the least! How did this guy win? On to the next! Asked how to go about achieving the perfect Urbanville, TLE responded:

It's not an easy problem so there isn't an easy solution honestly.

Even the villains can't be confident with that answer. And did he say "honestly"? Yes he did! To the question of how to keep citizens in Urbanville to stay put and be active, TLE replied:

I think that having incentives for players that stick around is a good way to approach things...

Well no duh! Thanks for the insight Mr. Deputy Mayor. Goatfist showed up at the debate asking if the deputy mayor is going to be the Mayor's lapdog. TLE responded:

I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

Hmm, did the great bird of Urb just call himself a dog? One issue that was raised had to do with the number of villains running for the position as opposed to just one hero that the "good guys" could unite behind. If the villains couldn't come to a consensus within their own ranks, how will they unite Urbanville? TLE's thoughts on this were:

I think this sort of situation works itself out.

That display of brain power was truly staggering! Moving right along, Affy wanted to know if TLE would cease his attempts to end her existence in Urbanville.

Yes Afro_Chic, I will cease all attempts to END your existence.

That statement made in a public forum is binding, by the way. When asked about the issue of the Johnny Laws forcing grannies to cross streets when they're just hangin' on the corner, TLE had this to say:


Apparently that question stumped him. On how he will keep the Arts District buzzing:

I don't see why it should get special attention.

For some reason I can see turkey butt graffiti spreading across the city in the near future. When asked about the temptation to abuse power, TLE said: depends.

Nice one. On the issue of the Deputy Mayor renouncing their alliances in the interest of fairness, the TLE admitted:

I'm merely a historically based honorary member.

I believe that means he's history. Heheh. As for a favorite ice cream flavor? TLE had this to reveal:

I'm old school into heavenly hash.

Sounds illegal to me. On to the trivia portion of the debate. Here are TLE's choices:

Lost over Heroes
Old School over New School
Blondie over Madonna
Originals over Remakes
Flango over Flingo

Well that was predictable. Scoop swooped in and wanted to know how to chill folks out and keep them in Urbanville. TLE replied:

... it is on the people leaving themselves.

Again, predictable. Next there was the question about women's rights as far as making designer gear available for the ladies. TLE said:

I can see the complaint.

That almost sounds like an insult, does it not? When asked what aspect made Urbanville the place to be for him, TLE responded with:

It was a super hero themed site, and I dig on that whole concept.

The truth comes out!

For the full debate, drop by the Mayor's office:
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #1
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #2
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #3
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #4
>> Ask Handsome
Love, the Final Frontier?
Salutations Handsome,

At the present moment I am infatuated with a member of the opposite gender. I sense that this member of the opposite gender is the Uhura to my Captain Kirk minus the racial roles. Handsome your assistance in my approach is wholly preferred.

Klingon Master

Dear Klingon Master,

Handsome doesn’t know where to begin. Who is this Captain Kirk and who is this Uhura? Is she a fine Lady? Would Handsome like to get his hands on her? The Masked Editor has informed me that both of these characters were on a show called “Star Trek.” Sorry, when the show was on, Handsome was too busy entertaining his girlfriends on the playground.

Do you want this Lady? Does she make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Handsome has this effect on the Ladies. Handsome suggests that you sweet talk your Lady. If she is the type of Lady who grooves to the sweet sounds of Klingon being whispered in her ears then my brother, Kling On, Kling On. Find the language that will make your Lady weak in her limbs and let it flow.

Finally, the best way to get your Lady is to spend more time talking to her and less time with your t.v.

Live Long and Love On,

Handsome U. Whantme

Disclaimer: Handsome U. Whantme is NOT a licensed psychologist! He's just a man who has too much time on his hands and advice to hand out. If you want to write him, send all questions to [email protected]. Make sure that you put "Ask Handsome" in the subject field.
>> Comics
The good, the bad and...Everything in between

Good news: 6 out of 10 Urbaniacs remain active players on this site.

Bad news: Those 4 people that decided to leave are missed by (the rest of) us and they need to be told that they took part of the site with them when they left.
Community Happenings!

Because the forums can be quite overwhelming, check out what's Happening in your Community!

The Lounge:


Although the caper of what happened to the Kitty diva is now over, BloodDrop wants to know if you all can guess what the cure was supposed to be! Can you guess? If you can, she has a 20,000 urbos award for you!

Urbanville Streets:

Get an arch enemy

M_dude would like to know if you are having trouble finding an arch-nemesis because if you are, then he has the perfect thread for you! He’s offering a free for all for those who find themselves without that perfect person to diss on a regular basis.

The Mayor's Office:

Congratulations TLE!

He’s the only lawyer in town and now he’s Deputy Mayor! How about you step by his new office to wish him good luck!

The Arts District:

Hep Cat Chill Spot

Affy is opening up a new spot for all of her homeys! Her new place is open for all...Well all except for “The Man” who she swears up and down isn’t The Mayor! So if you’re not filled with drama, go for a visit and tell Data 3.0 that the Chronicles Staff said hello!

That's it for now! We can't read everything for you. The forums are filled with interesting threads, we're just here to wet your whistles!

Maybe next week we'll showcase your thread, maybe not. If you feel that you have something worth showcasing send an urbogram to the Masked_Editor.

The Chronicles Staff