Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 102

Sep 1, 2007

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!


Issue 210

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Top Stories
Our Dear Maggot

Art work by Scott (Iron_Pants)

New Update on Maggot
(Taken from her lair)

Rest in Peace my beloved Maggot! Tuesday, August 28, 2007 at 10:42 p.m. Maggot (James) won his fight against his PPH and Congestive Heart failure. He told me he loved me and wrote peace on my arm as that was the only way of him communicating with me the last 2 weeks of his life here on earth. I am trying to be strong for Maggot (James) and it is very difficult for me as I loved him so very much. He was my life, my love and everything else in between. But to know the tremendous amount of suffering he had [to endure] during the last 6 years and 8 months of his life plus the few short weeks of painful suffering I can rest in peace knowing he does not have to suffer anymore.

May God bless you all for your prayers and your friendship.

Lilly (Pam)

I'm Free

I knew this week I was going to write something about my papi James (Maggot), but to be honest I wasn't sure what. To know James was to love him. I remember the day he adopted me, I got the warmest fuzzies ever, then he yelled at me for not eating... And I was like "OH MY GOD!!! What did I get myself into here?" haha

Yeah yeah he was always yelling at me for one thing or another (hey I'm a tiger... not like I can help being a troublemaker!)

What I got myself into was a sweet deal... although as much as I insisted he never would take a shower for me... I finally had to move out cause the smell was making me sick. But James and Maggot were much alike... and very different. They shared the humor... yup the nasty humor was NOT in character hahaha Poor Pam, but James was much softer than Maggot... it was why he ended up with the Kitty twins *giggles*

I found a poem that I think James would love...That would be what he would say to all of us now:

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free;
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and I left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work, or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah, yes, these things I, too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow;
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full; I savored much
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now; He set me free.

Author Unknown

James you will always be loved...

Cheryl *huggles*
Dear Maggot

Dear Mags, Maggy, Magpie,
How I miss that twinkle in your eye,
The one that said you're gonna play a prank,
Or release that blasted uber stank.

What a great leader you proved yourself to be,
You played your cards utterly perfectly,
Raising standards with a humorous touch,
No wonder everyone loved you so much.

As a writer you were positively prolific,
The tales you told were totally terrific.
Your creative style was wild with hilarity,
It won us over with your trademark sincerity.

You ran with the Big Dogs, the Cool Cats and the rest,
Always reminding us that the Family was the best.
But you accepted us no matter if we disagreed,
'Cause you knew diversity was needed to succeed.

Thank you for all the wonderful gifts you gave us;
The friendship, laughter, parties 'till dawn,
I bet you're watching, laughing at all the fuss,
But it's hard to accept that our dear Mags is gone.

**James, we'll hold you in our hearts forever!**

Comfort in the Darkness

I've always put, not an evil spin, but a dark side spin on my name, DarkestHour. But there are moments in our lives when we have to find the good and humanity in ourselves and we're forced to face it, so this is dedicated to James and Pam. It may not be much, but it's my offering....

On the darkened streets of Urbanville a lone figure moved through the shadows. It was a huge, hulking figure, but one moving with a style, and a sense of gracefulness about it. So self assured, so self-confident, knowing his path in life. Never faltering, but following his destined course in life. Slipping up beside him was his mate to help hold him up in his times of need and to steady his footsteps should they falter. Her arm linked with his as they make their way through the deserted city, pointing out familiar places while they thought back on past achievements and the friends they've garnered along the way, putting a smile on their faces. There were so many memories of all the good times had by the two of them filling their heads. Regardless of the banter back and forth between their supposed enemies and themselves they knew deep in their hearts that everyone was in some manner a friend. Nearing the end of the street, he stumbled, but her strong and reassuring grip tightened on him, keeping him upright. Looking over to her, his eyes shined and mirrored the love he felt for her. He smiled slightly and shook his head slowly from side to side.

Hearing the catch in her breath, he comforts her as he always has, reassuring her things will be alright and better for him. Wistfully, she lowered her gaze and helped him down to the cobblestone street, easing his head gently onto it. His hand came up to caress her cheek his eyes looked deep into the depths of hers, he reassured her once again. Leaning down to press her soft lips to his, his warm, sweet breath came across to her as she inhaled sharply with the sudden realization that the empty streets and memories that had surrounded them aren't either. They are in fact filled with the citizens of Urbanville, surrounding them and comforting them in their time of need. Warmed and embraced within the love of their friends and family, he speaks to them all. "Do not feel sorrow for me, my friends. The place I go to is a better one, do not mourn my passing, but celebrate life. Grasp it with both hands and hang on dearly, for life is the chalice and my passing is the wine. Sweet and yet bitter to some, but filling in the sense of drinking it with passion. Good bye and Good Night to you all, my loving family."

A Moment of Sorrow, Laughter, and Celebration

I am so moved at how the site has pulled together this week to honor my friend James and evil arch nemesis Maggot. All of us have gone through a dizzying spin of emotions, tears and laughter since his passing. I know I have. Certainly, da Maggot has been a great fixture of Urbaniacs almost since inception...His infectious capacity to make us all laugh, despite his private trials, has made friends of just about everyone in Urbanville.

As Maggot, he always kept us in stitches playing in character with his stanky evil shenanigans, all the while working tirelessly behind the scenes to make Urbaniacs better and continue to grow. There were so many things James did that were unknown to most folks...They were always hysterical, and always created a big stir! Long live the Maggo Burrito!!! Actually, Maggot can be credited with LOTS of things happening on the site. The formation of the Family, his secretly encouraging me to the get the HA up and running (he loved to yell HUUYAAH HUSTLE when nobody was around! LOL). He also encouraged folks to join in rap battles and write goofy poetry that they NEVER would have done on their own.

I was always quietly so happy when he would get all feisty on the site, because that meant he was feeling better at home. It's really rare to meet someone who is such a positive energetic force when they are in so much pain in real life. I know James was glad to be able to spread his faith and joy among those in the hospital who were enduring horrible trials. It is a testament to the man that his real life family and friends, and everyone he met, all are better off for knowing him, and stronger in their faith for seeing his spirit and determination.

For your constant friendship, infectious spirit, and constant optimistic faith despite your trials...James, you're my hero! Miss you buddy.

The Family salutes Maggot

This has been a sad week for many of us, a week which we heard the news we had been dreading, and hoping against hope to never have to read.

The founding father, the Villainous Emeritus, the man who showed us all how to play this game has left us. But while we may never again share a battle with him, or read his forum postings and smile as he not only mangles his opponent, but also the English language - he has not left us completely. The memory of a truly good man will stay with us. The inspiration he imparted as he battled his physical ailments will stay with us forever. His strength in the face of a failing physical body was incredible, for he knew in his heart that his soul would continue on. His faith was unfaltering, and we should all remember that in the months and years to come. He was sick, but unless you knew him closely, you would have never suspected it until these last few months. He didn't talk about himself, he talked the game - and in the game, there were none better. He was the Vile Villain Leader, yet he was also your truest friend. He would stomp a hero in a heartbeat in battle, and spend hours helping newbies find their way around town.

The Family has lost his founding father, but his spirit remains strong with us, and the lessons he imparted will stay with us for a lifetime.

In closing, Black_Raven_ has written a short poem:

Our hearts are truly broken
Our love is truly deep
Although your eyes aren't open
You've just lain down to sleep
Although we wish you would awaken
In our hearts you're still alive
Your memories will be with us
Filling us with pride
Everyone will miss you
You were a true friend to us all.

Signed, The Family

Crimson_King, goddess_de_nocturne, Kali-Maa, Black_Raven_, SydneyAlice, Kingsland, and many more....

>> Comics
A Bad Poem for Maggot

I must apologize to my fellow Beatniks and artists for what I’m about to do. Trust me, the following poem is going to hurt. It hurt me writing it, but I figured James would want a bad poem written about him. He always liked to laugh, so I’m honoring that aspect...

A Bad Poem for Maggot

Some believe that angels are running from the sound
Of Maggot stomping on the ground
Screamin’ “Hey angels pull my finger!”
Hey do you think Michael Jackson is a good singer?

Oh I’m sorry, this poem is about Maggot
A bright man who stole our hearts and bagged it
Well not really “it” but “them” because we have our own hearts
And each of them cry cuz we lost the man with the deadly farts

Maggot, oh Maggot, I once called you “Papi”
I really can’t think of a line here so I’ll end it with copy
But you truly built the first family on this site
Filled with drama, Iron Pants, Surfer Chicks, and fights

You always threatened to take me out to the shed
If I sassed you too much, you sent me to bed
But I, like you, was much too stubborn
Man, I shouldn’t have used stubborn, NOTHING rhymes with stubborn
(Iron says “Bourbon” but he's wrong”)
(Oh don’t worry, nothing is happening, he’s just drunk again and sitting in my office as I write this. Hey remember when you tried to make us have a shot gun wedding? That was SO square! I guess I should continue on with the poem, huh?)

Anywhoo, this poem is bringing tears to my eyes
Which is interesting cuz your death did too
I know, I was supposed to rhyme those last two lines
But I didn’t feel like it so sue me

In honor of you I cast away all poetic rules
And the urges of calling The_Legal_Eagle a tool
No wait, I guess I just did what I said I shouldn’t
But you know that I love doing things that you wouldn’t...want me to do

Your one huge disappointment, your blood Beatnik and a Hero
Yet you’ve never called me a zero
Always beckoning me to fulfill my Villainous roots
Saying that being evil is all that I’m about (Pronounce it the Canadian way “aboot”)

Maggot, I’m going to end this poem
And break out a jeroboam
That’s a large bottle of wine
Yes Iron taught me that and he also says goodbye

I swear there’s nothing going on between us
I know how much that would make you fuss
But being a Hero already made me the black sheep
Though I would renounce that if that meant we got to keep

You here in fair Urbanville playing with us every day
But instead we cry cuz you’ve gone away
Papi Maggot, a shining star from the start
But now the light has gone out in our hearts

Now Maxine has something to say too
Hey James, my friend, I will never forget you!