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Issue 76

Mar 3, 2007

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
Who I am


It is I, Dracula the Vampire.

For those of you that do not know of me here is my story:

Yes it is I, THE 1 true vampire. I have arisen from my 100 year slumber to find myself weakened and in a totally new existence, URBANVILLE. Although I am insanely strong compared to mortals, I am in a weakened state due to my slumber. Plus, the fact I am now up against Super Heroes and Villains, I find myself out of my league, but not for long I will feed and train to my hearts content. I will show this site what a true vampire can do. I have noticed a young vampire clan thus far and they are NOTHING compared to the clans of old, they align themselves with humans, yes HUMANS! MWAH HA HA! Humans are not worthy of gracing our castles unless they are on a leash. You may be able to beat me now but wait until I re-gain my strength I will crush all of the unworthy Heroes and reward all of those Villains who have partnered with me during my trying time. Watch out Urbanville I am here and I'm staying for good!

I may be a vampire but unlike most others vampires (I said most not all) I work solo, I depend on myself. Although, I am not stupid, I will call upon help from many Urbaniacs during my trying time and all will be rewarded with my gratitude and maybe more.

I pledge my allegiance to the Goat and the successful Villains of the site, but do not mistake me, I DO NOT WORSHIP THEM!

The Twins vs Nadia and Kid Covert


I was astonished after this footage was recorded outside the Throw Down Disco Hall:

It was a long assault, 2 chars and 2 sludges (ewww! one has a pimple! YUCK!) vs. the two unfortunate ones, who were getting torn! Then it happened, a sludge, the one without a pimple, attacked one person and he died. Then the second person died because a char killed him. All that was left was the 4 enemies and the sidekicks of the two people, Kid Covert and Nadia.

Kid Covert and Nadia smashed the windows near the tables and escaped. They thought they were free, but instead they were ambushed from behind! They got up startled and tried to figure out who ambushed them. As their vision cleared, they saw it was the TwinVisibles! They thought that the fighting was over but with all their courage and might, they fought the TwinVisibles.

It was an equal fight until the TwinVisibles attacked using something that was NOT their fist. They had just thrown a solid metal pole! You might have realized that Kid Covert is not as healthy as Nadia so Kid Covert went down leaving Nadia, who survived with 20 health points.

Just when it looked like Nadia and Kid Covert were going to lose, their owner came with his pet Vicious Fishious and poisoned both of the TwinVisibles, but nothing happened. The TwinVisibles then took out the fish and Nadia! They had won, but they felt as if they were becoming weaker every second. Slowly, they died!

Doctors checked on how the TwinVisibles died. It turns out that the poison DID work.

Nobody won.

Who's The Masked Editor?


There's a lot of questions going around saying, "Who's The Masked Editor?" and most of you think it's me, Breaker.

And for those who don't know what I'm talking about, there isn't much I can help with that...Fools.

Well anyways, I have the answer to who The Masked Editor is...It's NOT me! So you can stop pestering me with your questions on who it is.

That was you "friendly" neighbourhood kitty Breaker saying, get over it, I'm not The M.E.

And in the words of The Masked Editor...

"Cats and curiosity, well you know that saying"

My Identity
Heh, so Breaker felt the need to write an article stating that he is not The Masked Editor. I could have told you all that. Just in case:

Breaker is not The Masked Editor.


Do I look like Fruitcake to you? Oh that's right, you don't know what I look like and I aims to keep it that way. Instead of focusing on my identity, focus on the stories. Doesn't that sound like a good idea? Focusing on the stories in the Chronicles.

I've got work to do. By the way, if you notice that your story hasn't been published, it could be because of 1-3 reasons:

1. Your article wasn't Urbaniacs themed.

2. It was hard to comprehend.

3. There wasn't enough room. What are you? A diva?

Luckily for you, you can edit your work and submit it again.

In closing, let me say:

Opinions are like...Yeah, I'm not finishing that one.

>> Top Stories
Beatniks Get Their Art On Outside of Urb!


Scoop here with the word on what the Beatniks have been doing outside of Urbanville! While minding my own business, well as much as I can as a reporter, I stumbled upon Urb-Art. Like Urb Aid , this site has been designed by the brilliant Love_Child. (And if I have a crush on her, what are YOU going to do?)

While perusing some of the pictures, I found a few that I wanted to showcase in my article! Let me say that each member on that sight is talented. I had a hard time picking a few but here are some of the ones I chose:

First, let's start with Iron_Pants' drawing of The Beer Swilling Pig:
The BSP


Any pig who is comfortable in a pair of iron drawers is a friend of mine. Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense. Ignore that I said that.

Now, when I first saw this gato, I thought he was scared, but according to Isomaniac, this gato looks like that because someone had just said something bad about his mama.

Gato


Third, let's take a gander at OGRE's picture of Super Speedy Dude.

Super Speedy Dude


I figured it's something for the Ladies. It does nothing for me. Does it do something for you, Love? I hope not!

Feast your eyes on this picture done by usagisailor. It depicts a soft and gentle looking Sassy Jungle Kitty Twin. Perhaps Afro_Chic and Tiger_Eyes can look at her and take lessons. Just kidding Ladies, put those claws away!

Sassy Jungle Kitty


Finally, glowstik's Appreciation Day photo.

Appreciation Day


If I were the Top 3 on this site, I would be so flattered! Of course I had to throw in his picture, the Mayor signs my paycheck! I might even get a bonus.

So if you're bored and your fingers are itchin' to do something other than prop, diss, play games, or talk in forums, I suggest you make your way over to Urb-Art and draw your little hearts out!!!

This is Scoop_McFanny saying:

If it's news and it's hot you can expect me to beat the others to the punch!

Urbanville Police


***Urbanville Police Needs You***


Join the Urbanville police. Feel good after helping out people in assaults. Plus you will be paid and don't forget if you win assaults you will receive urbos. Finally you get to go back to your crib knowing that you have done the city some good.

Check out the Hero's Forum for the sign up sheet!

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT.