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Issue 65

Dec 20, 2006

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
What's Love Got to do with it?!
This is the Funk Mistress chillin’ with the first deejay to ever grace the town of Urbanville! She went from a tiny station in the spam forum to a bigger station in a forum created just for her. Although she is no longer the only deejay in Urbanville she is still one of a kind. No one could touch her spirit. She is the original deejay, the original goddess, and my beatnik buddy from way back, she is DJ Love! I actually had a chance to catch up with her during her show. At first she gave me a hard time when I asked to interview her but she finally gave in. So turn up your radio and let the smooth grooves of Urbo 101.5 entertain your body while this interview entertains your mind.

AC: What made you start Urbo 101.5? What were your hopes?

Well I started URBO 101.5 because Preston wanted to dance under the pale moonlight with all those shwolfs that kept coming over to your house. I had no idea that your boombox was going to get trampled by a shwolf stampede. That's on Preston, not me, nuh uh, no ways.

AC: How did you feel when you noticed others were following you and making their own radio station?

I thought it was great! It meant more variety, and it also meant that I'm not the only one who enjoys talking to herself in a little room all night.

AC: What do you want to say to your fans?

I have one in the studio that is electric. I'd like to say... Why can't you be self cleaning? The dust that collects all over the casing is hard to get out. And I have a nice folding fan... I'd like to say... Thank goodness I saw you at that garage sale because you are so purty!

AC: *cracks up laughing* Thanks smart aleck, sheesh. Do you have any special shout outs?

Yes, I think I should say "Whut Up!" to my homey Iron Pantelones since he has that secret crush on me. *giggles*

AC: What is your favorite type of music to play?

My favorite type of music to play is the kind I don't have to go around censoring because as much as I love my job, I don't think it should be any harder than it needs to be.

AC: What do you do when a fan wants to hear a song that you don’t like?

I play it if it doesn't need censoring. Then I tune it out and work on my plan to take over the world. I mean... I think about how love makes the world go 'round.

AC: Yea call me on your plans to take over the world. I guess I can be Pinky to your Brain or visa versa. I noticed that your radio grew from one deejay (you) to a staff of deejays. Is it hard managing other deejays?

AHAHAHAHA! No, it's very easy when you expect nothing. That way I get pleasantly surprised when they show up for work. ;) Love you all! Heheheh.

AC: What can we expect from Urbo 101.5 and DJ Love in the future?

You can expect more Whacky Wednesdays, more lovalicious vibes and more funky fun... or funny funk. That's always good too!

AC: How has the radio changed your life in Urbanville?

Of course I get mobbed on the streets all the time. People want autographs and photos. You know the drill. I don't mind, of course. All part of the job.

AC: If you could interview any star on your show, which would you pick and why?

I would like to interview Betelgeuse as he's in one of the most recognizable constellations and so gets a lot of attention. Also because his name means "The armpit of the mighty one". On one hand he's famous, but on the other hand... he's an armpit. It's a double edged sword.

AC: *shakes head* Okay, next time I interview you, I’ll be more careful with my wording mujer. *giggles* What do you have to say to the other radio stations out there?

Don't get discouraged! Running a station is a mostly solitary business and you spend a lot of time by yourself. Have fun with it and your listeners will have fun too. They may even call you some time.

If you want to see DJ Love in action, check her out at:

http://www.urbaniacs.com/city/lounge.php?t=114882
Diary of a Sidekick
Dear Diary,

Today, Porco Rosso, the VERRRY handsome Rump Roast, asked me out on a date. I was skeptical at first, because, as you know, I am very shy. But, all my friends at the 51-50 show advised me to say yes, so I did. He picked me up the next day (Yesterday), and we went to the Au Clere Cafe. We shared a lobster. Those lobsters are HUUUGE!!! After the meal, we chatted about things like holidays, and giant lobsters. Around 20 minutes later, he took me home on his owner's, Love_Child's, Scoot'n'Loot (They're my favorite vehicle..... much better than Grim's motorcycle) and walked me up to Grim's Moon Tree apartment. I kissed him on the cheek, because I liked him. I hope to see him again sooner or later. Hopefully sooner!

Love,

Maxi, The_Grim_Repah's Shwolf
Part two: R.M.D.U.
Part two: R.M.D.U.

- Oh! Yes, I remember now. The heroes formed this powerful alliance called RMDU!
- RMDU? What does it mean?
- Well truth been told no one is certain about the origin of the name there are many different versions as to what it really meant. Some say the letters stand for: Ready Men Daring the Underworld or Real Men Dancing Ugly but the version I like the most is the one that claims the heroes used their initials to form the name of their crew! Rackman was the most powerful of all, a mysterious creature indeed, Madmordican was …well…kinda mad while Darkterror had an innate ability to cause fear to his opponents. Last but not least there was Darkangel a fallen angel in Urbanville who was the noblest of them all.
- Why did she fell?
- She tripped!
- Oh! Ok! And who was U?
- Who me?
- No grandpa, not you! U! RMDU! Whose name started with a U?
- Oh, um… nobodies! It meant Urbanville!
- Urbanville?
- Yep, they really were the Rack, the Mad and the Dark side of Urbanville!
- Why didn’t they call themselves RMDD? It has everyone’s initials!
- They didn’t think of that!
- Da!
- It all started the 28th of November 2006.
- You don’t remember which street you live in grandpa how do you remember the date?
- I shall never forget! Remember, remember the 28th of November. This is how their first announcement was made! They came out and warned Goatfists minions and other villains that their rain of terror was soon to come to an end! They were bold and brave in an age where these virtues were unknown to us! They gave us what we needed the most.
- I know! A version of windows that actually worked!
- …um…er… no, no nothing like that
- But windows back then sucked and there was this evil man Bill Gates who...
- Can we go on already??
- Oh... ok!
- Where was I? Oh! Yes! Hope. They gave us hope lad, hope!! That someone was out there to support us, to fight for us and to keep the town funky!
- Well what happened?
- Goatfist went mad…no, no, wait Madmordican was mad… Goatfist went furious! He commanded all his henchlings to bring to him alive or dead these heroes that dared defy him! The Hechlings were now everywhere looking for the RMDU but they couldn’t find them! Someone else did!
- Who was that person?

End of Part two!
>> Top Stories
String up the Garlic
While the presence of Vampires is not particularly new to Urbanville, it appears as if they are reproducing!
Thats right, this reporter has uncovered evidence of the Urbanville Vampires perforing a ritual known as "turning" on other citizens! Even more shocking, some people are actually VOULTEERING to become one of the night-stalking Undead. As is to be expected, events which bear a striking simularity to vampire attacks are on the rise!
Urbaniacs have been seen walking the streets at night lethargically, with twin puncture wounds in their neck, and none, when confronted will claim remembering being bitten by one of the Nosferatu. However, these citizen are always obviously drained of blood.
"My sister has been acting strangely for weeks, now, and that wound on her neck just won't seem to go away," one concerened family member stated. It is urged that the members of Urbanville take extra precautions to secure their homes from this nocturnal threat.
>> Comics
QUOTES STOLEN BY ZOOMER (Double Shot)
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Both stolen from Steven Wright - Comedian

Zoomer_McTraveller