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Issue 57

Oct 22, 2006

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
The Queen's Eye Watches You
Dear fellow Urbanville members!

It has been brought to my attention that a few members of this town have been acting in an unfunkdified manner. To those cats I say the Queen of Funk has her eye on you. I will hunt each and everyone of you down in a funky manner. I will tie you up with funky ropes and knots. Lead you back to the Mistress of Funk Club where you will be serenaded by me and the towns' funky elite. Believe me my friends, you will FEEL the FUNK! You will LOVE the FUNK! You will crave the FUNK, the WHOLE FUNK and NOTHING BUT THE FUNK!

I am making it my duty to preserve the town's funkiness!!! So watch out unfunkdified members...You are now on my funky radar!

*pops Hero collah*
OCTOBER RAP BATTLE UPDATE
All I can say is RIGHT ON! This has been the absolute BEST rap contest ever to hit Urbanville and the internet! All y'all rappers broke out some fresh rhymes I hope that the10,000 Urbos you get for making it this far cushions the blow. Here's the losers:

NotMyPresident - Trick or treat. You tried to play and got played right back. Props and 10,000 urbos coming your way.

Kiddnice - this one was really close. I'm still laughing about you dropping 3rd period French. But in the end, you can only rhyme rest and best one time per rap.

Phreestyle, Marky_Jo, and Nosebleed - Y'all are great rappers, but you betta check the 411 before you post. Good luck next time!

Nostopballa - This was the closest finish ever. It almost came down to a battle, but in the end, even though your raps were tight, The_Gemini brought it on. Enjoy the 10,000 Urbos and we'll see you in the next rap battle.

Here's the final round. Follow the directions carefully. You all have one post and you have to work in the name of each finalist into your rap. The finalists are:

Diddoe
Jaytac
Sacred_apollyon
The_Gemini
Dudeman
Supa_Villain

You don't have to use your own name, but y'all have one post to show who has the best rhyme skills by incorporating your opponents name into one fluid rap. Deadline is Friday 10-27-06.

Urb ON!

DaMan
>> Editorials
Quotes Stolen By Zoomer
"You are never too old to do goofy stuff."

Stolen from Ward Cleaver - Leave It To Beaver


SCARY CHANGES?
Yes, it’s the now-rarely-heard-from Iron Pants, the cranky Avatar Man without a plan and lots of college spam! And who obviously has problems with rhymes, because “spam” doesn’t really rhyme with “plan”, but then again what does a 40-something alcoholic know about freestyle…

I digress, as usual. The point is, Halloween is fast approaching and it’s time to dress up and get funky on that extra special-spooky-scare-the-snotty-little-brats kind of way.

And on Urbaniacs, we have extra options, unlike those other sites. Yes, because at Urbaniacs we can buy ourselves new body parts to really dress up in style. New body parts and… NEW DISPOSITIONS!!

Yes, I propose that on Halloween – that is, from Oct 30 (Devil’s Night) until November 1st, everyone swap their dispositions to… something totally not themselves! (and not “Undecided”, ‘cause that’s like the lame “I’m a guy with a pillow case” costume)

That’s right – on Oct 30th, yours truly will becoming a VILLAIN for that special spooky time of year! (And have a different set of body parts to boot)

So get into the SPIRIT of the funk, Urbaniacs! Let the spooks out!
(Who let the spooks out? Boo, Boo, Boo!)