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Issue 30

Apr 9, 2006

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
DON'T DRINK THE WATER: A SHALLOW DEPTH EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
I sat down with Vicious Fishious, Urbanvilles newest sidekick to discuss how this most peculiar creature thinks he can help Urbaniacs everywhere. Though his accent is thick, he answered all of my questions with his own unique flair.

JENQ - So, Vicious Fishious, with a name like that, don't you think you are limiting yourself to villains only? What about the heroes, the nomads, etc.
VICIOUS FISHIOUS - I could not care less! I hope no Urbaniacs buys me. In fact I don't think anyone on this site is tough enough to take what I can dish out.

JQ - You'll have to forgive my chuckling, but you do realize that you are just a goldfish, stuck in a fish bowl… right?
VF - BAAAAAH! (gurgle) Just a goldfish! That is the kind of attitude that I'd expect from someone with no gills! (SPLASH!)

JQ - EEEWWW!
VF - See what I mean? Who's JUST a goldfish now?

JQ - That IS some pretty gross water. I see no one has changed it in a while.
VF - Exactly.

JQ - So, how do you see yourself helping out an Urbaniac?
VF - Who cares? How about I toss another splash your way?

JQ - No thank you!
VF - So I've got that… plus I'm a bit of a leper?

JQ - You mean you can give other people leprosy? That IS vicious!
VF - Oops, sorry, I meant leaper. Translating from fish to human, I sometimes mess up a few words. I have a real problem with message and massage too.

So, there you have it… straight from the fishes mouth. I for one, need a shower!
That's the dish, JenQ very much!
>> Top Stories
DAWN RISING
People of Urbanville, listen close. You all know and love Black Dawn as the guy who clears scum out of Urbanville. However today, eye witness reports have seen Black Dawn take down innocent members of the public, with a crazed look in his eyes! Then he vanished without a trace! No news as of yet as to why Black Dawn has had an apparent change of heart, but stay tuned to The Chronicles as we are bound to find out shortly.
RAINY DAY VACATION
With all the wild hub-bub and evil to-do going on about GoatFist and his evil rising, Mayor DaMan has postponed his vacation until early May. The Mayor was quoted as saying "There's a lot of work to be done in Urbanville. We've been taking forever on our new game, Let It Ride. Plus, there's a kickin' Cinco De Mayo party in the tropics that I'd like to get my groove on at." So it appears the Mayor will be sticking around Urbanville for a few extra weeks. DaMan's vacation should time out perfectly with the one year anniversary of his election and the launch of Urbaniacs.

Urb ON!