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Issue 24

Jan 8, 2006

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Issue 1

>> Top Stories
PAWN BROKER
Hey all Mayor DaMan here to let you know that the Pawn Shop is up and running. Anyone ready to get their HAGGLE on should cruise on down and check it out. You can buy or sell trained Urbaniac parts, maybe pick up some new gear cheap, or sell some unwanted equipment. Please note that for the time being, you can not sell vehicles. Happy haggling and Urb ON!

DaMan
>> Editorials
M.U.R.K - Mercenary Urbaniacs for Reinforcing Kombat
My Fellow Vigilante's, there has been lots of talk recently in this forum about creating clans for vigilante's and helping each other out but this just seems the opposite idea about being a vigilante.....I think we should be out for our own, like mercenaries.

I would like to start my own Group M.U.R.K. - Mercenary Urbaniacs for Reinforcing Kombat - we accept jobs from groups and independent Urbaniacs and pass them out to our members and it will be there decision whether to accept or refuse the job, no "clan pressure".

Anyone who wishes become a member or anyone who wishes to engage our services send me an Urbo-Gram.

Silver_Samurai
M.U.R.K. Coordinator
Black Dawn Arrives
Earlier today we recieved news of a mysterious figure in Urbanville.

I shall start from the beginning where most GOOD news stories start. Mrs. Dawkins was out in Urbanville with her dog Strappy buying her next issue of Housewives Unlimited and raking in the groceries for that evening, when suddenly four thugs walked into the shop, and demanded a high amount of Urbos. Mrs. Dawkins was frozen in her tracks, unable to move or thankfully scream (since the Chronicles has been informed that Mrs. Dawkins has one of the loudest voices in Urbanville).

Mrs. Dawkins, regaining her composure quickly ran out of the store and started to dial a number in her mobile phone and was heard to remark: "BD...it's MD and it's trouble".

Moments later a jet black high-powered sports car roared up narrowly missing Mrs. Dawkins feet. A figure stepped out of the car, pulled out 2 twin sleek MP5s from his coat and was again heard to remark: "OK m'am, gimme 3 minutes".

Seconds later the figure stepped calmly into the store.....gunshots were heard, and the thieves fled from the store, each clutching their wounds. As usual, no one was killed, but everyone was freaked out. The figure re-appeared from the store, smirked at Mrs. Dawkins who smiled back, and calmly walked over to the man in black.

"You ever need me again m'am, you know who to call..............MD".

The old lady nodded as the figure climbed into his car, and drove off
Hypno Burger Time
Moocho Macho Hombre flipped out the other day and accidentally hypnotized everyone down at City Hall. Luckily, Super Speedy Dude had just zipped in with his favorite triple cheese, bacon, and steak burger. He saw all the Urbaniacs hypnotized, then caught a glimpse of Moocho Macho Hombre, and he knew what to do next. Super Speedy Dude ripped into turbo urbo mode. Moocho MachoHombre could not hypnotize Super Speedy Dude, so he decided to charge him! Thinking fast (as he always does), Speedy remembered his favorite soccer (football) move! Gaining steam, Super Speedy Dude slide tackled Moocho Macho Hombre who fell down, knocked out cold. As the Moocho spell broke everyone cheered, and Speedy calmly went back to
his triple cheese , bacon and steak burger.