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Issue 197

Aug 8, 2012

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>> Editorials
A story

It was 2pm. Monday afternoon at the Urbanville Dojo. Me and my brother buckethead were fighting. We were assassins, training to be master assassins. So in the asssasin culture everyone is your brother/sister.


Today was the big day. Today determined who would be the master assassin. Everyone crowded around us. Trainee assassins, assassins, citizens, police. EVERYONE was there, full of excitement. Nobody was allowed to cheer like they do in those crazy football games. Everyone must keep quiet at all times no matter what. I was wearing an all black ninja outfit with a red dragon design belt around my waist. The red dragon belt was the master rank belt. Bucket, on the other hand, wore all white ninja outfit with the red dragon belt.


We stood opposite each other, studying each other. The leader of the Assassin Brotherhood was called ' Ra's Al Ghul'. Scary looking guy if you ask me. Anyway, Ra's Al Ghul had announced the countdown for the fight to start. I had a katana and a few throwing knives on me. That's all I needed. Bucket had the same except with a hidden blade. Ra's Al Ghul commenced the countdown.

3..2...1.... FIGHT!


I stayed where I was, moving slowly, acting patient. Waiting for bucket to strike first. Bucket was copying me so we ended up circling each other. I decided to make the first move so I leaped towards bucket and slashed at his thigh with my katana. He deflected with his hidden blade. He was quick I must admit, but not quick enough... I blocked his attacks and counter attacked him. At one point I caught him off guard, I threw a throwing knife right at his knee. Man that must hurt ! Bucket made no moaning sounds but I could tell by his facial expression that he was badly injured. I realized this was my chance so I leaped forward again, faking a right jab with the sword and then *SHWING!* I sliced bucket on his thigh.


*SHWING* *SHWING* I slashed him on his other leg this time and to finish him off, I done a dragon kick to his face and sent him flying through a concrete wall.

Ra's Al Ghul: I have seen enough! And I believe the crowd has too. I hereby announce, Hamo, Grandson to the legendary Altair, Son of Ezio Auditore Da Firenza, to become the new Master Assassin and leader of the Dojo! Hamo, you may now rise from your kneeling position

I rose up, full of happiness. Excited that I have not brought shame to my family name.
I was now the Master Assassin. I will now become a legend like my Grandfather...

Funk story

During the beginning of Urb, Afro_Chic was the strongest; she was the leader for her funk. Then she used her power to make all the Urb but the first 2 she made were GoaFfist and DaMan. Over the year she grew to grow more fond of DaMan for his handsome appearance. On the other hand she shunned GoatFist for his appearance.


Then it all happened. GoatFist made the first of his henchlings using his power. The little small creatures of darkness assaulted urb causing destruction. The only way to beat it was for Afro Chic to send her power to DaMan. The power looked like a blue orb. DaMan accepted this power and defeated GoatFist yet DaMan saw the power was too strong and tried to destroy it.


GoatFist interrupted and both of them sent part of their life into the orb. Love Child was quick enough to use her love shield and protect the orb while DaMan held off GoatFist. She then sent the orb to Mr. Anderson and Tempest who were making a battle plan. They were to protect the orb until it achieved a form.


It took 10 years for it to finally become a baby. Zoomer used his power to give it the ability to take the look of a human. He was destined to save Urb. This is how the story went out.


"Dad I'm off to train" I said.


"You're only 15 yet you train like a warrior. Why?" said Mr.Anderson.


"Because I want to fight Goat Slum like you." A small smile appeared on his face


"Ok. off you go."


I walked out the door where I was met by my rival, BballCash.


"Hey Blue, guess what? I just took 4 chars without getting hit." said Bball.


"Piece of cake! I can do that in my sleep." I said.


"Exactly! Only when you're sleeping." he responded.


"Haha! But what's our battle record? Oh right, 5-3."


"Which is why I wanted to come beat your face in time to go 5-4."


"Bring it kid!"


We started charging at each other but we were stopped by Senator Urbaniac.


"Ugh! Senator, there's no school today. Right we were just ugh.. playing bull horn maximum, hehe." I said.


"Got an assignment for you guys. Y'all are my top students; you'll both be turning 16 soon so I'm giving you a mission."


"For reals I've been training nonstop, and with me and Blue we're unbeatable. Bring the henchlings on." said Bball.


"This time it's an Urb."


"Another Urb? The only other I fought is Bball and that's not to the death."


"If you can't do it i-"


"Never said I wouldn't, this is gonna be awesome!"


"Your target is Rackman. He's becoming a big problem. He has an overpowering girl so watch for that."


"We got this, don't worry."


We traveled to an abandoned house; well it looked abandoned but it wasn't. We busted through the door expecting Rackman there, but there was this lady in black with wings.


"Hello boys, how may I help you, Hun."


"Who are you? We're looking for Rackman." said Bball.


"I'd prefer you wouldn't, Hun, you see that's my man." she responded.


BBall charged after her swinging his saber. Black Raven flew into the air easily dodging his attack. I attacked from behind with my boombox. She easily countered with a kick to the back.


"Enough playtime. Dark Talon Slash!" The attack hit critical right into the chest of Bball.


"Owrghhugh!" screamed Bball.


"BBALL!" I ran after him, but was kicked in the face and flew back into a table.


"Bye Bye."


SMAAAAAAAASH! A person flew down from the ceiling "I'd rather you didn't touch him."


"Oh Tempest baby, nice of you to make it." said Raven.


"Help me Uncle..... Please ..ugh..." I said before passing out.


"Don't worry you're safe now, As for you..." An angry look appeared on his face. "You're going down!" *Thunder strikes*


"Someone's a little ticked off. Let me cool you down. Dark Talon Slash!"


"Umbwagaaa" said tempest. A volcano shield came up from the ground stopping the attack. She then chargee at Tempest with incredible speed. Tempest punched a straight right, she ducked under it and punched him in the stomach.


"Ughwaa!" screamed Tempest. He recovered quickly, then gave her a left upper cut, then grabbed her neck with the right hand and slammed her down. She then changed into multiple ravens that flew off into the dark.


Tempest pulled out his phone. "She's gone." he said.


"What about the boys, are they ok?"


"Yeah, can't believe they sent the wrong stats of Rackman, he's very strong."


"Wait I... I...think one of them is ..d...d..dead."


I woke up in a very white hospital. It had pictures all around me. I saw Mr. Anderson and Tempest there with sad looks on their faces.


"What happened, where's Bball is he ok?" I asked. They didn't respond. "What happened?!" I asked again, this time more angry.


"Bball is......dead....the attack was to much for him to handle." said Tempest.


I couldn't believe it. How were we so unable to defend ourselves? Why was my best friend dead? Instead of crying I screamed then the most unusual thing happened. I turned blue and rays of light were shining.


"Looks like he can't handle it, the power is coming out." said Mr.Anderson.


Then I passed out. I woke up again, but this time in my own room. Yet again Mr. Anderson and Tempest were there standing in my room waiting for me to wake up. "He's really gone"? I asked.


"Yes." responded Mr .Anderson. I couldn't believe it.


I cried for a moment, then asked "Who am I? What I had just done was not human... What am I?!"


"You will learn as you go on your journey... to save Urb."

The Best

The title speaks for itself... WE ARE THE BEST! The Family will destroy anybody out there willing to challenge us! Think you have the guts to take us on ? Well shoot me a gram and I'll make sure your sorry butt is sorry for shooting that gram! DON'T MAKE ME GO ALL HENCHLING KELVIN ON YOU !

We have fallen.. But we are now rising. Rising, rising to the top. Striving for the highest!
Nobody can or ever will stop us! We will take any disposition! We have no fear! We are the best!

Bank Robbery

GoatFist: Do you have the equipment I asked you to get?
Henchling: Um... Well I forgot the -
GoatFist: YOU FOOL! ARGH. BEGONE!
Henchling: Yes master GoatFist
GoatFist: Hamo, I want you and Kelvin to take the roofs. Me and sparky and the rest of the crew are taking the front door.
Me: Got it! C'mon Kelvin!
HK: I'M COMING JUST WAIT


Me and Kelvin both climbed to the roof of the Urbanville Bank. We set up everything there. Headsets so we could talk to each other, smoke bombs, grenades, everything!


HK: TELL THE BOSS WE'RE READY! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET A PIECE OF THESE ANNOYING LITTLE PESTS!
Me: Yo boss! We ready!
GoatFist: Well go on then, stupid. BLOW UP THE ROOF!!!
Me: Geez, no need to get all -
GoatFist: DO IT BEFORE I BLOW YOU UP!
Me: Okay okay!


I planted a GoatFist Bomb de Jour. Me and Kelvin took cover behind an air vent thing and *BANG* The whole roof blew up! The glass went shattering down and injured a few people.


GoatFist: It's about time...
HK: LETS DO THIS HAMO!


Me and Kelvin both ran together and dived right through the roof and landed perfect on our feet.


Me: EVERYBODY DOWN! DON'T SAY A WORD AND YOU'LL LIVE. GOT THAT?
...
Me: THATS MORE LIKE IT! Yo Kelvin, freeze them so nobody does anything stupid.
HK: OKAY!


Kelvin froze everybody in the bank so nobody could pull any smart moves. Sparky disabled the alarms before we even blew the roof up. Man, he's fast!


GoatFist: Char... Go and bust open that vault with Sludge
Char: Hehehe okaaay bosss.


Char and Sludge both went to the vault and opened it with their superpowers.. Not sure how that worked, but it did okay!


GoatFist: Hahaha that bald Mayor will be suprised when he hears about this!


Goaty and the rest of us all looted the vault and left through the front door as if nothing happened.

SUPA Mystery Uncovered

After a few months of recovering from my traumatic ghost experience, I finally have the guts to go back to the Southern Urbanville Physics Academy also known as SUPA.

My poor sidekick, Novak is having hard time in coping up with the situation so Sasha came with me instead.

Sasha and I decided to tag along with a few paranormal experts to uncover these mysteries of SUPA.

It was a rainy Monday evening when we came to that place. Lunar also decided to help us solve this mystery. She is one of the known alumnus of the academy.

When we entered the academy, it was scary. You can really feel the eerie ambiance. I was shivering. Sasha looked at me. She told me that being scared won't help us solve the mystery.

We decided to split into groups. We were 10 all in all. I was grouped with Sasha, Lunar, and two really handsome investigators.

We walked around the famous West wing of the Academy. It was so cold, ice cold! It was also quiet.

Sasha began to reach for my hand. She had a tight grip. Then suddenly, the lights began to flicker. The wind was swooning. Sasha and I hugged each other. Lunar laughed. She told us it's nothing. Then the lights went off one by one. We were petrified. Out of nowhere a weird looking woman wearing a white gown appeared before our eyes. She was smiling. She had these piercing red eyes, stabbing us right through our souls. The two handsome beings began to cover us. The woman was fast approaching. The men brought out their gun-like thingy. And they began to ask the woman, "Why are you haunting the academy?"


The woman laughed and her head turned three-sixty. She answered, "I suffered! I was tortured by those filthy blooded fools! They treated me like an animal! Who, in their right mind would do this? It's for science? Fudge science!"

Then the woman disappeared. I was relieved but suddenly a weird wind passed through me. Then a whisper, "Help me!"


I could feel the woman's breath down my back! I was shivering. Then she was gone.

The two men were disappointed. They didn't have a chance to talk with that mysterious woman. Sasha then shouted, "Where's Lunar?"

We looked at each other and ran around the Academy. We found Lunar lying on the floor. We woke her up and she told us that she knows who the woman is. It was her former classmate. She was recruited by a sorority. She thought that the sorority would help her but she ended up dying. The case about her death was forgotten.

We were in shock. We decided to light some candles and pray for her soul. The case wasn't really solved, but the experts told us that they will not stop until the mystery is fully solved.

Weird Villain Leader Much?

So let me break it down for you. I may not be the smartest villain leader or the most evil leader, but I have something that no other villain leaders have done. I have stuck with the villains since the Corruption Inc was being in action with DudeMan, I have proven myself, I am worthy of being in the Corruption Inc, I have dissed people down that I made them beg to stop.


But when DudeMan left, there was no leader at all. I was one of the only active villains around here; I never put my head down, always kept it up high. I never said, "Oh man, this ain't taking me nowhere." I had my doubts, but I was still a villain.


Till one day UltraUrb, my bro, messaged me and told me he wanted me to help him reconstruct the villains and bring them back once again. I was pumped because I had all the recruits ready and we just needed a leader with experience.


A few months later, UltraUrb told me he had to quit for a while; (real life issues.) I told him I will never quit on the villains and as soon as he left, I started the Rebellions. It was basically a clan to spread the villain word out to urbs. After that my friend Rancid came on and we talked for a few days straight, talking about what we need to improve.


Never in my mind did I think I was gonna become the leader of the "Family". As soon as he told me I was going to be the leader, I said, "Are you sure, man? Do I qualify for this?I'm not sure if I'm ready." And he told me I was a one of a kind leader who never quit on his fellow members, and that right there gave me the boost I needed to become the Family leader, and look where we at now!!


Taking down worthless vigis, I would say taking down heroes too but they are too afraid to show up (Euphyllia) ahahahah tools! But we aim for strong players. As you can see we have sent out a warrant to Kampo, the strong dude who every time you say something he replies in nobles, yeah that's him. Well we took him down. He was all confident that he was gonna take us down and after he lost, he wanted to be a sore loser and say that we weren't supposed to have sidekicks; ahaha tool bag, who said we villains fight fair??


My friend, Dudeman, told me why fight in a 1 on 1? Youre a villain, you can do basically anything you want. So I said, You're right." and that has been my strategy the whole time.


Ahaha well thanks for reading and remember, you get a warrant, we will serve it. Ask Ronaldo, Mangirl and the others. Ahaha!

TP Raid

The TP demand is way up there, the prices are sky rocketing! I can't believe the price for one +5 TP. This may be an all time high pricing for TPs.The rich wants to get strong so they buy all the TPs. The strong wanna get rich so they are selling the TPs at high prices.


In my opinion there should be a limit on selling of a bunch of TPs because if not, lower class poor Urbs can't buy any TPs if the rich buy them all. TPs come every three to ten battles, it seems like for me. So I don't know why the prices are so high when there is a large output of TPs from battles.


Many urbs are selling TPs at high prices because of two reasons. One, because they need money where the stat exchange has left them broke. Two, because many people want to get stronger.


As of August third, I checked the Wall of Heroes. Only three days into the month and Shadow_Fighter has gained +530 in might TPs. Many Urbs don't reach that amount in two or three months. He has dedicated a lot of urbos into training. At TPs at a price of 150k and more, this has been a outragous cost for that many TPs.


As for me, I don't really care about the high stats any more. I enjoy the people, forums, and Chronicles. Until the prices go back down, I will refrain from buying TPs.


To add on to that all the new gear coming, I'm trying to save money so I can buy some of the gear. Some Urbs are doing the same thing because when that one-day-gear or only 50 releases comes out, I want to have money to buy it before it's gone.

Thanks for reading my topic,
~Bull99

Urb Football Team

Yes, as many of you know, training season has started. The Urb football team is doing great, many of the players are pumped and ready for Pre-season to start. I have gone to see one of their training days.


While I was there, I walked up to the concession stand to get an Urbo Gurt when I noticed a note saying "Urbaniacs Football Team in need of a quarterback". A light bulb sprung in my mind that would be the perfect way to get the scoop for the Chronicles and get some ruff tough action.


I have been to nine practices so far and I can say one thing for sure. Push-Ups really build biceps. Thanks to the coach, I have been a little sore, but building muscle. The training course is quite brutal with all the pop up dummies. This is the first year there has been a Urb football team. The Urbo Bowl will be the biggest event in urb history other than the retired Urbo Wars.

Thanks for reading my article.
~Bull99

Examining the Villain phenomena with Dr.Freundstig

Why do you think so many people switched to being Villain, doctor?
"Well zis is a verry intrezting question. First yu have to eczamine ze typical urbaniac. If yu tell zem that ze sky is green and the ground iz blu they will will start walking on zer heads. Tiz is mainly becauze they are sheep, they like to be lead. So when zomebody told zem that the villainz are the strongest dizpo they flocked."

Interesting stuff, and how long do you think this phenomena will last?
"Well za villains are prone to illuzions of grander and generally dizplay self zentered, narzistic behavior. Zooner or later they will commit an error in judgement and they will looze mozt of their memberz, to other dizpozitions. I'll zay another month or zo, but do not quote me an zis."

Too late, so how do you think it will fill the void?
Well letz zee. The heroz were hit of guard whit all of zis gestapo fiazco, zo they lozt a lot of credibility and still zeem weak in everyonez eyez, ze nomadz are wonderez they do not really buckle down in ze communities. That leavez ze beatnickz and ze Vigilantez , but ze beatnickz do not participate in zi political mannerz of urb, zo that leavez ze Vigilantez returning to ze top again,

Thank you doctor. There you have it folks in black and white. From one of the leaders in his field, the unbiased prediction about the changes that will hit Urbaniacs in the months to come.

Wreckless Driver on the Lose

This past week a wreckless driver was spotted going eastbound on Second Street. Unfortunately, the driver rear-ended another innocent driver. The Urbanville Police haven't revealed the victim's name, although most citizens already know who that person is.

"I saw the driver, I think he's my neighbor." said one of the witnesses.

Many heroes and other citizens are on the hunt for this crazy driver. I've been notified that a well known hero has already organized a community watch group in hopes of spotting the delinquent. There's limited actions that the police can take at this point. The police of Urbanville are pretty much useless. Who needs them?

I did get information on the victim's health. It seems that the victim only had minor injuries, nothing you can't cure with just a bandaid. Just because no major injuries have occurred, doesn't mean the wreckless driver should be left off the hook.

Thanks for reading this week's scoop with Inside_Scoop. Hopefully that bandit will be caught soon.

The Beginning of the End

Saturday morning. Beautiful morning, in fact. The birds were chirping, kids playing in the summer heat, people walking their dogs, artists in the park painting on a canvas. All was good.


I rose up from my bed, put on my slippers, jumped in the shower, got changed and went out to get some breakfast from Speedy's Java Hut. I was thinking about cycling but where's the fun in that on a hot day like this? I decided to walk.


Now I am obsessed with history. I know about WW1, WW2, The holocaust, everything, you name it! Here in Urbanville, there isn't any history here. Well so I've been told. I have done research and, well, there really is no history here. I arrived at Speedy's.

Speedy: Ahh Drake! Just the man I was expecting
Me: Haha long time no see, eh?
Speedy: Where have you been lately? You haven't been here for weeks! I was starting to think you didn't like my food!
Me: Nah of course not Speedy! You and I both know your food is the best! I have been busy lately, trying to figure out if there ever was history in Urb?
Speedy: Ahh my friend... You must stop this search, it is pointless. Nothing has ever happened here in Urb.
Me: Come on man, you must know? You have stayed here all your life. Forty two years, surely something has happened? ..
Speedy: ... Ugh okay. There is something. Not many people know or believe this. But 40 years ago, in 1780, apparently there was a so called "Great War". This war was the war that ended all chaos in Urbanville. That is all we know. There is no evidence, but scientists have discovered some sort of super DNA spreading throughout Urb. The DNA has been very hard for them to scan and check, but they are still working on it to find out what it is and why it is here. Scientists wanted to keep it on the down low but some fool heard and blurted it out in pubic and now everybody knows. But nobody believes.
Me: Woah... There must be evidence! Historical evidence! The scientists can solve the DNA and I will find one piece of evidence that will prove this Great War did happen. I believe it. Anyway I will take a few doughnuts and an urbogurt please.
Speedy: Good luck then.

Speedy zoomed off to the kitchen and got Drake what he ordered. Drake paid 2,849 urbos and took a seat outside the shop and ate. Drake thought to himself, There must be evidence! The Great War has to be true. Speedy said it ended all chaos, maybe that would explain how nothing bad ever happens here! I have to find evidence.

After Drake ate his last doughnut, he stood up and walked over to the park.
Me: Let's search this park.
Drake walked around the park three times to get used to where things were and then began his search.


Hmm... 1780. Only thing I remember from that time were the Assassins. Why were the Assassins involved in the Great War? Hmm... All I know about Assasins is that they had secret door passages and well, they kept everything discreet. Let's search the walls, maybe an Assassin left a mark because Assassins used to mark their secret passages with a weird looking symbol.


Drake walked a few metres until he thought he saw something glowing.
Me: Hey! What's that
Drake ran towards where the glowing light once was.
Me: What the? Didn't I just see a light?
For a moment, I was quiet. Until I realized something! I saw the ancient assassin symbol!
The symbol was dusty so I dusted it with my hands.
Me: Woah! No waaay !
I was right! Haha it is the symbol! I touched it at first and nothing happened. I tried everything and still nothing happened. Then right before I was about to open my mouth, my whole vision changed.
Me: Argh! ...
...
All I saw was darkness at first... Then everything lightened up. Well most things such as objects and people. The rest was just.. Dark?
I looked around.. Confused. Was this how the assassins saw? Did I just touch some hidden panel? I was confused. I scanned the area until I saw it... I saw what I had been searching for all these years.. Finally! I have acomplished my task! There was writing on the wall. It was yellow. Not sure if that was because of my vision or because it really was painted yellow. But I looked again, closer, to confirm it. And I was right. How was I going to show this to the world? On the wall the words The Great War, 1780 was engraved in ancient Greek writing...