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Issue 194

Jun 7, 2012

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
About That Man On The Street.

I know this man who is on the street that I read in an article recently. Well the reason why I am not revealing any details is because of this. One he is paying me to keep his identity secret. Two I'm utilizing his services to upgrade my club without much fuss or realization. Three He Gave me the Final clue on who the culprit of my contest the person looks like, a tricky viking vixen with a Rump Roast.

Chronicles Dead??

The chronicles are going to be hearing from me lately.. ok so people are asking what's going on with the villains why are they so inactive or why are they afraid of our dispo? Let me clear this out we villains aren't afraid of ANYTHING OR ANYONE.. If you message any of us right now to a battle I promise you we would not decline it, we will stand our ground and beat you senseless.. and aahahaha I have to laugh at porter for the chronicle he received. What an idiot would post that bet it was a nomad they have no brains at all... But to spark things up I have made a contest to any villains that are active... go check it out and win yourself 1mil or maybe even more...

I AM LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT, MY RIGHT HAND MAN, MY DO OR DIE, MY OTHER HALF...

You have to be just like me even worse, NO MERCY ONCE SO EVER... when I'm not there you will take over no question asked you will have to be respected or you will make them respect you.... I need that person to let the other dispo know that when the leader " osmeliio " leaves they won't be able to take advantage because his other half is there to back him up..

I WANT ANY VILLAIN TO MESSAGE ME AND TELL ME WHO YOU THINK DESERVES THAT SPOT I AM ALSO GOING TO POST A THREAD IN THE VILLAINS FORUM SO KEEP AN EYE OUT AND REMEMBER IF YOU'RE NOT WITH US, YOU'RE AGAINST US AND WE WILL TAKE YOU DOWN...

~ King osmeliio

Livening Up Things

Alright, I will make this place live if I have to end up like Tony Stark and get some metal thing for a heart! Now, the betas have all discussed things and made a few pretty good suggestions on what we need to LIVE! But wait! What about after we're done? What about when we are just lounging around the forums looking for something to talk about? Well that's what I'm going to do, I will post in all of your threads even if they're arguments so we can get Urbanville back to the top! Invite who you can to join!

You Can Call Me TP Man

Tp's have messed up our site. A LOT. So I'm here to fix that I will be doing activities and selling cheap tps for this site. It's time to make things easier. We had a Great Depression but it's time for the New Deal.*Funky Patriotic song plays*.Thanks you my fellow urbs.

The Story of a Vigilante

This will be the story of how the vigilante named Kampo came to be what he is today.

He was born as a samurai to one of the strongest clans in Japan. Growing up he presented great skill with the sword and was destined to replace his father as the shoguns top retainer. Alas the life of a samurai is one of servitude and duty and Kampo was introduced to a dangerous idea at a young age, that all men are equal. This seed began to grow over the years and formed into the trunk from which all the principles in his creed stem.

When he reached the age of 16, he decided to become a ronin and go on a warriors pilgrimage. His father was opposed at first, but quickly realized there was no man in the land who could oppose his speed and skill with the katana, so there was no way of stopping him once he made his decision.

He traveled long and hard all over Japan, but could not find a single opponent that could match him, so he decided to venture further out, to lands separated by oceans and mountains high enough to scratch the footsteps of heaven.

On one of these travels, he got shipwrecked. As it often happens in these cases debris, of the ship which was faithfully heading towards Davy Jones's locker, littered the area so he clung to the biggest piece he could find, he drifted like that for 5 days.

On the six day, whit the last breath of his life preparing to leave him he washed up on the shore of an island. He doesn't remember much about what happened next, but apparently some locals found him on the beach and picked him up.

When he awoke after 3 days of sleeping. And stumbled out of the house he was recuperating in, he saw nobody, he blinked and he was instantly greeted by the tribesman who saved him. He thought he might still be delirious and that might be the explanation why the whole village seemed to be deserted for a split second.

With no means of getting of the island for at least another year, the time the next trade ship was scheduled to arrive, he started settling into the life of the locals. Befriending the daughter of the village chieftain in the process. Soon they were almost inseparable. For the first time in his life he was at peace, he didn't feel the need to be the strongest, the best. He decided to settle down and start a family with the chieftains daughter, with whom he deeply fell in love.

On the day of his wedding, the chieftain summoned Kampo and told him that the council has decided that he is now one of them and he is ready to receive the gift. He wasn't quite sure what they meant by that, but he followed the council into the heart of the jungle anyway. There they entered a cave hidden by a waterfall, in the cave they arrived to a fountain. The chieftain took a cup and filled it with the water from the fountain and gave it to Kampo to drink. Thinking this is just their tradition he took the cup and emptied it. What happened next was something that Kampo didn't even dream about in his wildest dreams. First he felt a tingling, then it was like every cell in his body started to explode. He couldn't stay still anymore, he had to move. So he started running, when he stopped a few seconds later only than did he notice that he was on the other side of the island. The council was upon him in seconds and started laughing. Kampo was starting to panic, he was always fast but never this fast. The chieftain reassured him with a smile and said he should relax, he did well, when he receive the gift he ran to the nearest island before he could stop.

After that he was truly one of them, his blissful existence lasted another three months. Until the island was visited by the S.S. Hoof, on that day everything changed. The islanders being friendly people by nature greeted the ship as they would any trading vessel. What they didn't suspect was that this ship coming from the west would spell their ruin.

The only person to come of the ship, was a tall slender hooded figure, he seemed strange, but the islanders didn't judge a book by it's cover. They went forth to greet him, Kampo being a bit more worldly was suspicious of the dark figure, but he obeyed the chieftain so he did as the rest of the islanders and went forth. When the chieftain and the hooded figure were standing face to face, a black hand resembling more that of a beast than a man extended and grabbed the chieftain by the throat. In a hoarse voice resembling that of a goat more than a mans, he asked for the secret of speed or he threatened to end the chieftain. The islanders shocked by what happened stood frightened and unable to move. Kampo being a warrior reacted, attacking under the blink of an eye, but he was hit with a fist so furious that not even his amazing speed could help him. He fell to the ground and showed no sign of movement. His wife blinked over to see what happened to him, but all she had time for was to give him one last kiss, before her father shouted his last words.

He sent the islanders to destroy the gift, knowing that such power can not fall into the wrong hands.

After hearing their leaders last words, the islanders disappeared. A few seconds later, a cloud of dust rose from the middle of the jungle. The creatures fist could match the speed of the islanders, but his feet couldn't, so he had to go see what it was the old fashioned way, by slowly walking. When he arrived, he found the collapsed waterfall and figured out that the islanders sacrificed themselves to destroy it. Angered by their actions, he put a bomb on the island and set the timer to eight hours, hurrying back to his ship afterwards.

He got back to the beach with three hours remaining on the timer, he didn't bother to check Kampo, he thought the bomb will take care of him if he's not done yet. He would later come to regret that decision.

While lying there unconscious, the chieftain told Kampo in a vision to wake up, his journey is not yet over, he has much that he needs to discover about the secrets of the gift and even more to do after that. It is not his time to join them in the afterlife.

So he opened his eyes and with a minute left on the timer, he ran, without thinking about anything else he just ran, so fast in fact that he was able to run on water. Reaching the nearest island, 500 miles away in a matter of instants.

Lying on his back in desperation and exhaustion, with everything that he ever held dear ripped away from him, he resolved to do the only thing that still made any sense to him, revenge. Searching for it high and low in every corner of the world, finally arriving in Urbanville. The hometown of the beast that destroyed everything he held precious in this world, which now had a name to the go with that unearthly exterior, Goatfist.

Kampo now spends his days in Urbanville, honing his skills on the many henchman of this evildoer, waiting for the chance to meet him face to face again. And when that day comes, it's clear that only one of them will be left standing.

Interview With A...um...yeah....

ManDude: Guys do we actually have anything lined up for today?
Manager: No, not really...
ManDude: So what do we do?
Manager: I dont know. We could play scrabble.

5 minutes later

ManDude: Best 2 out of 3.

7 hours later

Manager: Best 347 out of 348

Narrator: And that is how DaMan became king of the universe. The end!
ManDude: Um, I dont think that actually happened.
Narrator: What are you talking about? Of course it did!
ManDude: But-
Narrator: Ignoring you.
ManDude: *muffled* Mm hm hm HM hm hm!
Narrator: Next week, we interview a Hot Dog Vendor.