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Issue 185

Dec 7, 2011

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Issue 1

>> Editorials
It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

It's not that I'm opposed to the Christmas season, but really, Scoop just takes it to an annoying level. So when the staff drew names for Secret Santa... I was overjoyed as I looked over Scoop's shoulder and saw that he got The Pawn Shop Guy!!! I heard a rumor that his name is Sheila and he hangs out with the Subway Guy, but not much else is known about either one of them. I really wonder what Scoop will get the guy who has "everything". He really does have everything in that dark, smelly shop of his. I, on the other hand, got the bright, beautiful JenQ! Just goes to show that karma exists!


In this issue, ManDude wins for Most Entertaining Article!  Scoop is annoying (although he did show off his creative talent this time,) GoatFist had something to say, Jay_Rawker is charming as usual, and dragon1 is the first to submit his contest entry.  Go dragon1! 


I hope to see you all at the Elegant Ball on December 8th!

Mayor_DaMan Vs GoatFist (as seen by a citizen)

Citzen: OH EM GEEZERS! It's the mayor! What's that though? Is that...a goat? Why is a goat standing up and how is he talking? *takes out phone* This is so cool!


*5 minutes later* Wow! That goat has some mouth! Hes been dishing out disses and questions faster than my camera can record! The mayor is doing pretty good to. Too bad elephant man is down. Well at least we still have a magician, an iron dude and a giant blue gorilla.


*5 more minutes later* ITS DOWN TO 4! This is so exciting! *battery low* No...NO PLEASE!


*2 minutes later* Just a little longer! Everyone's on their last legs I need to see what's going to happen!


*Battery about to fail* NO!


*You fail. Goodbye* *phone shuts off* ...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs around* Is that a light post? MOOOOVE LIGHT POST! *smashes into it* Whats the spanish word for doctor? *blacks out*

Narrator: Pure. Epicness.

Apparently I am Annoying?

Yes, that is 'apparently' right?! Urbrey_Porter is a REAL Christmas Scrooge. I annoy her with all my Christmas cheer, she hates the songs, decorations and the compulsory Hat-py Holidays Santa Hat we wear to work. (Yes that was my idea!) Hmmm, anyone else up for annoying her? I tell you what, I would LOVE for you all to gram Urbrey_Porter and tell her how much of a Scrooge she really is. In return, I will give you a Training Pass, fair deal? - Villains this is your time to shine... for once.

So, all the Urbaniacs Staff done secret Santa the other night, guess who I needed up with. He is more annoying then GoatFist, looks worse than Urbrey_Porter in the morning (That is tough to beat!) and wears the most disgusting clothes going. Yes I am talking about the Pawn Shop Guy - does he even have a name? What can I possibly get him? Anything decent he will probably just pawn off, anything cheap he probably already has in his shop. What can I get this guy? HELP ME OUT! This is going to be tough secret Santa to buy for... hmmm.

Anyhow,before I end my article I would like to say thanks to Jay_Rawker, ManDude, TheThing, Dark_Oracle, dragon1, Rockin_Gaberial and Mr_Funky for sending in their Christmas gallery picture, unfortunately Rockin_Gaberial and Mr_Funky didn't make it to the next round, but did extremely well. All entries so far will be rewarded with a 10+ Training Pass. Mega Props all round!

Thanks for reading!
Scoop

Miracle On 34th Street

This year the holidays are going to be the most lovable in the history of Urbanville! For starters Goatfist hasn't been seen in a few days, let's hope he stays away. Various holiday events are taking place right at this moment. Everyone helps each other and I haven't seen an argument in a while!


These miracles are born on 34th on Urbanville! Am sure many urbs will be visiting 34th street to admire its powers.


Many years ago, people here disrespected each other, especially during this time. A special event will be held on December 8th in the Lounge to celebrate what we have accomplished. Make sure you participate in the Secret Santa to give and receive marvelous gifts! Thank you guys for participating!

Nomadic Christmas Poem(For Contest)

Christmas is coming, and the nomads are getting ready
Villains are laughing, whilst the heroes are hugging their teddy
Vigilantes are preparing, and the Beatniks are decorating
But now look at all the trouble that Christmas is recreating
I want to talk about the Nomads, and their Christmas care
We are all wearing hats, even check Supa_Villain’s lair
We don’t have many things, we only have this sack
Even without much, Christmas for us won’t lack
Our Christmas spirit is the strongest, because we care for one another
I like helping my Nomads, I wouldn’t do anything other
Than make them smile and spend all my time together
When we all smile, then so does the weather
Christmas is different, in other Dispo’s eyes
Some dispo’s hate it, but other’s like a surprise
But when we all come together, we realise and find out
Christmas is a time to look after and definitely not to pout
We have to give not take, and not to turn our backs
We have to help each other, on this site called URBANIACS!

Thank you,

-Dragon1-

CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAYS

JINGLE THIS, JINGLE THAT! HOW PATHETIC ARE ALL OF YOU. DANCING AND SINGING LIKE A BUNCH OF KIDS HYPED UP ON LICORICE! I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF SCOOP, THAT'S WHY HE HASN'T BEEN PUBLISHING LATELY. ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN HIM?

NOW THAT I'VE CLEVERLY LAID OUT A THREAT, IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THOSE LITTLE FOOLS LEADING A REBELLION TO KEEP CHRISTMAS IN URBANVILLE.

FIRST: SUPA_VILLAIN
TALK ABOUT AN URB THAT SWITCHES BETWEEN DISPOSITIONS MORE THAN HE TALKS. HE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALLOWED TO CARRY "VILLAIN" IN HIS NAME. SUPA SWITCHED TO NOMADS SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO START A REBELLION AGAINST ME, YOUR LEADER!. WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT CHRISTMAS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR! OR ANY YEAR AFTER! ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO TO WISH YOU WERE WITH THE VILLAINS ONCE AGAIN OBEYING YOUR MASTER.

SECOND: OSMELIIO
ANOTHER FOOL WHO CAN NOT MAKE UP HIS MIND! YOU WILL PAY THE CONSEQUENCES FOR FOLLOWING SUPA_WEAKLING IN HIS REBELLION. WHAT GOOD IS THERE BY FOLLOWING A FOOL?

I THINK THIS IS IT SO FAR!

GF

Scoops Secret Santa - Jay_Rawker

There is one main Homey that I know,
He rocks around Urbanville better than a Cup of Joe!
This guy strolls around as Vigilante with pride,
He makes being productive look like an easy ride!
His lair is filled with all his achievment,
You can see from behind him, the trophies just shows all the time he has spent
Any contest going, he'll be runnin' it,
If not he is the main contender, making the big HIT!
Whether he is writing an article or crackin' up some art,
His contrabuition is OUTSTANDING, better than playing Smell My Fart!
Jay_Rawker, I would personally like to say, Merry Christmas,
I'm sure your Santa Claus' first stop on his Atlas
So, this homeboy is Scoops' Secret Santa,
I hope my gift is better than last year's banana!