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Issue 166

Jun 29, 2011

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>> Editorials
Welcome!

Well it's nice to be free from Osmeliio's stinky lair.  I know he's a Villain, but does he have to be a slob?  I don't think he's taken out the garbage.  Ever.  The loud buzzing you hear when you enter the dump is not a bad sound system, but a healthy population of flies.  Peeyeww!


Getting back to the Chronicles, we have a nice variety of flavors in this issue.  Samatha brightens up the place with her humor. Dark_Oracle puts a new twist on a classic tale. Osmeliio calls out the Nomads on behalf of Villains everywhere. And Love_Child tells us what the stars have in store for us in July.


Don't forget that writing five meaningful pieces for the Chronicles will earn you a trophy for your lair.   "Meaningful" means thought out articles, interviews, poetry, comics, etc. Spamming the submissions form will not help you.  And simple announcements over and over again won't count.  We're looking for you guys you get creative and leave your mark on Urbanville forever!


The Boy Who Cried Henchling

Here is a little story that was told by my Grandma:


There was once a teenage boy who was really bored. As he walked in an alley in Urbanville he was thinking of something to do. He suddenly grinned and thought of a great idea. He decided to fool around. He sang out, "Henchling, Henchling! A stinky henchling is beating me up! Help!"

Some of the heroes of Urbanville responded quickly to the cry of the boy. But when they arrived, they found no henchling attacking him. The boy laughed out loud, "You should have seen your faces! I cannot believe that you guys fell for that! You guys are dummies!"


The heroes stared at the boy, "Please stop fooling around, boy." Then they flew away.

After a few seconds, the boy sang out again while dancing in a weird way, "Henchlings, Henchlings! They are attacking me! Help me!" The boy giggled and watched the sky as the heroes flew towards him. The heroes saw no henchlings.

The boy laughed out loud and fell on his knees, "You fell for it again! I cannot believe this! You guys aren't that smart at all!" The heroes stared at him with disappointment,

"Will you ever learn, boy? Save your voice for the real trouble. Is it too hard to do?"
The heroes flew away with a little anger in their faces.

The boy grinned and laughed once more.

The boy decided not to fool around anymore and he walked home. As he was walking, he had an encounter with a Kelvin and Sparky. He was so scared he peed in his pants. The Kelvin and Sparky started chasing after him. He cried, "Help! Kelvin! Sparky! Chasing....After....Me!!!! HELP!!!" No hero has responded. He was beaten up by those fools.

The next day, the heroes saw the boy crying, limping in an alley. He was badly injured. The heroes asked the boy, "What happened to you?"

The boy stared at them, "A Kelvin and a Sparky attacked me. I was asking for help. Why didn't you guys come?"

The heroes laughed out loud and pointed their fingers towards the boy, "You should have seen your face." The boy cried.

One of the heroes walked toward the boy and comforted him, "Nobody believes a liar. They are fools! Are you fool? I know you are not! Now, let's go to the hospital and after that we will buy you a strawberry smoothie at the Cafe."

ALL HAIL THE HOOF

I dont care at all if porter is a girl or a guy and scoop why you defending her, do you want to repeat what happened to you last time when I made you interview me? That's what I thought....

 * pushes porter and scoop out of the way *


What I am worried about is these stinky nomads that think they are going to win the 100mill. Pfff don't make me laugh, pathetic nomads.. Yes am talking about you neck, he has no life! All he does is play Bomb Diggity; what a loser.


And thething thinka he is big.... Not gonna say it... But in this article I have to mention 3 very sexxy girls... Love, oracle, and juicy... Hey ladies I have to ask you girls a question ... Why don't ya join us? Think about it....anyone else is welcome to join the Minions

July Urbstrology

There is a solar eclipse on July 1st that will set the tone for relationships for the next six months. The way you care for, and empathize with others, will determine your success in this area. Without taking things personally, you can gain a deeper understanding of those around you.

A powerful T-square occurs throughout July that will cause you to question whether what you're doing is really making you happy. The choices you make for self-fulfillment may conflict with your responsibilities in your personal and professional relationships. This in turn leads you to make changes either in your lifestyle, or in your approach to work or relating to others. Ultimately this time of self-reflection should lead to changes that bring you more satisfaction with your life.

Look for people changing dispositions, and either posting more in the forums, or withdrawing and posting less. Nooo! Post more! When Uranus in Aries goes retrograde on the 9th, the tendency to withdraw and contemplate your identity will be more pronounced, though. But this should lead to self assertion, so even if the forums become quiet, it's only temporary!

In the first half of the month, Mars in Gemini trines Saturn in Libra. This is a great time to share ideas and achieve your goals! There will be positive energy in the air that will be motivational. I have a feeling this will result in people accumulating lots of training passes.

From the 3rd to the 11th, things can get intense due to Venus in Cancer opposing Pluto in Capricorn. It can be a good thing, with people getting fired up to bring friends to Urbanville or have lively conversations. It can also be a bad thing if people succumb to arguing and pouting. Don't think in terms of "right" or "wrong", but rather if everyone does their best, good things will come of it.

The New Moon in Cancer occurs on the 1st. New Moon days are power days, so get out paper and pen to write down 10 things you wish to happen in your life. For best results stick to Cancer themed wishes having to do with the house and home, family, security, emotions, caring and mother.

The second New Moon will be in Leo on the 30th. Wishes should follow the themes of children, vacations, romance, self-confidence, fun and play.

>> Comics
FUNNY

GIRL: MR.SOUP HAIR ,WOULD U BE MAD AT ME ABOUT SOMETHING I DINT DO?

(TEACHER)MR.SOUP HAIR: OF COURSE NOT

GIRL:GOOD BCUZ I DIDNT DO MY HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)


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WHERE DOES GEORGE WASHINGTON GET HIS WIG?


BY HAIR MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)


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KNOCK-KNOCK 
WHO'S THERE
KETCHUP
KETCHUP WHO
U BETTER KETCHUP TO HER BEFORE SHE CRASHES TO THE DUMPSTER!!!!!!!!!!:)


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KNOCK-KNOCK WHOS THERE
BANANA
BANANA WHO
CAN U GIVE HER BLANKIE BFORE SHE GOES BANANAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)