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Issue 134

Oct 26, 2008

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>> Top Stories
October 26, 2008
Welcome to the wonderful world of the Chronicles, feh. I am the Masked Editor. You know it. You hate me. I do not care. Here is your paper. Leave me alone. Next week there will be a Halloween edition. If your article did not make it, it is because you did not make the changes that I required. All submissions are due the Friday before the submission is published.

This week you will find:

Simon the Flingo writes to GoatFist. Fun.

Point/Counterpoint between Afro_Chic and J_Trane. Exciting.

Preston B. Wereboy’s comment to Hobbes’ previous article. Great.

A comic by Iron_Pants and Afro_Chic. Oh joy.

UrbDoFunk if you’re smart enough to complete it.

The Chronicles are currently being fixed. Until then, you will need to click the links to view the comic and the UrbDoFunk.

Feh,

The Masked Editor
THE GREATEST URB EVER KNOWN?
As written by Simon the Flingo.
Dear Goatfist,

You know I love you big G. Who couldn’t? But what gives? I will repeat that. What. Gives. I mean, I bust my furry little butt making poems and pictures dedicated solely to your honor and what thanks do I get? That’s right. None. Nada. Zero. Not only did I make one submission “telling of your great deeds.” I made three. Three that highlight and glorify your vilest and most evil qualities. Where’s the recognition?

Have you forgotten your own words already? You wanted someone to create stuff in your honor. Junk that would detail your “rise to greatness” and if such things were done, you would “throw some measly penance” our way for our troubles. Well love, you may have forgotten with your goat-brain, but us Flingo-folk have long memories. Let me express my disgust in your article’s blatant lack of purpose by stealing the Masked Editor’s line. Feh. That’s right. Feh!

It’s okay, Goatfist. I am a Flingo. My wounded heart will heal. But tonight at dinner when I’m eating lamb-chops, I’ll be thinking of you between each grisly bite. Yum, yum... Goat...

Lots of love,

Simon, the genius Flingo
>> Editorials
Blame the Leader? Or the Masses Following Them?
I’ve spoken out that the leader is without much duress because he cannot micromanage everyone’s exact detail, or rather amount of input for the betterment of the group. True he can put people in charge that will agree and follow his agenda, but he cannot play the game for every player. The people are where the issues are at, they don’t listen to what the leader says, and they are first to point to him as the fault when things don’t go well.

All too often people look to a figure head to fix every little issue when they could have manned up and handled their own business. Even when a leader has stepped forward to fight his people’s battles, he is crux for his role in the issue. But really is it not the role of the leader to allow the members to show what they have? And why do the members continue to follow someone they disagree with? Why don’t the show their opinion with their feet and find themselves with the nomads?

And the people should not want a leader to micromanage every detail of their stay here in Urbaniacs. Who is playing the game, you or the leader? A leader should lay out the foundation for the rest of the crew to create the rest. If a leader is forcing people to do things against their will, they are not showing good judgment. And if you find a leader like that, you should step away from them quick, because you are not an equal; you are a pawn in their sick selfish game.

People choose who they want to follow, that is what makes a good leader or a bad decision maker. Follow someone who has the group’s interest in mind and not self imposed grandeur. At the end of the day, this is a game. Play it – Don’t live it.

Nurb Off - BDIB!
J_Trane
Leaders: The Predictors of Success
In Urbanville as well as the rest of the world, the success of the group is based upon the strength of the leader and not the members. My brother, J_Trane, would like to believe that it’s the members who have the ability to dictate their group’s success, I must disagree and I will tell you why in my short article.

The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players. (Blaine Lee)

Like a conductor, a leader sets the tone for their group. A strong leader can make miracles happen like creating a new generation of leaders from an undesirable group. In Urbanville, you can tell who the leaders are and who aren’t by the way they speak and by their ability to inspire others to greatness. These people are the mature members of the site and they keep the mission of Ira in their hearts and minds. Although many of them had to deal with the title being thrust upon them, they take their jobs seriously and they know that if anything fails, they will be the ones who will deal with the backlash.

Which brings me to my point, if a group fails; it is the fault of the leader and not the members. Every leader knows that by accepting the title, they will be the first ones blamed in the event of a catastrophe. This is what makes a leader brave. The job of a leader isn’t something that anyone can handle; it takes a special person to make it look easy.

In this little town of Urbanville, there are leaders who work hard every day to sustain their groups. They learned that a true leader doesn’t burn out by doing everything alone; they delegate tasks to individual members because they trust them. A weak leader is like a cancer that spreads throughout a group and corrupts them. These types of leaders don’t understand the concept of trust and because of that; their members soon learn how to become distrustful. Leaders like this suck the funk out of the site and teach their members how to do the same, which is why people should be very careful about whom they choose to follow.

So if there is a problem with a group, I can’t blame the members, who are often like sheep looking for a herder, I look to the leaders. I’m not writing this to call anyone out. In the town of Urbanville, we always ask people to keep it funky, but if the leaders of this town aren’t keeping it funky, then I believe that we can’t expect that from the rest of the community. So leaders? Let’s try to inspire everyone to have fun and to make this a place that folks come to relax and laugh, not tense up and fight.

J_Trane, you’re wrong. I haven’t even read your article yet but I know you’re wrong.

Keep it Funky

Afro_Chic
The Mistress of Funk
Sidekickology: What Fool Believes That? by Preston B. Wereboy
Sup Urbanville?

It’s your favorite wereboy, Preston B. Wereboy, that’s right; it’s the Furry Casanova, yo! I know I haven’t spoken to y’all in a minute but thanks to the article Sidekickology: Interfacing with your Sidekick, I figured it was time to holla at everyone. Yo, if you follow this fool’s advice you’ll end up with a room filled with ticked off sidekicks grumblin’ about how they hate bologna sandwiches! Also, you’ll be the joke of the community thanks to the stupid names you gave those sidekicks. Honestly yo, taking time to name your sidekick will give them pride, for real! I’m the only Preston in Urbanville and I rock that name with my head held high!

I am much more than a subservient! I’ve been credited with saving my Chica’s life on many occasions allowing her to win her battles! Her first million was thanks to me because I used to steal burritos from those punk Henchlings! Not only do I keep my Chica happy but I am also known for keepin’ all the shwolves howlin’ my name! That’s right, Preston! If you’re a Newbie, don’t sleep, yo. Your sidekick will protect you if you let him. Treat us right and we’ll hook you up but treat us bad and you’ll find yourself on the ground with a shoe print on your chest. If you’re straight up cruel, don’t freak out if you find a smaller shoe print under the first one!

If you want a cantankerous sidekick who will watch you while you sleep with a pillow in his/her paws and a sick smile on their face, listen to that poser Dr. Hobbes. If you like sleepin’ peacefully and formin’ relationships with another individual that will keep you alive and cheesin’, listen to the Hairy Casanova and treat your sidekicks right!

*howls* Ya know ya liked that,

Preston B. Wereboy
>> Comics
Stick It!: Trick or Treat!
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