Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 132

Sep 14, 2008

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!

Issues

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Editorials
UrboCasts

Dear Afro_Chic and J_Trane,

I never thought that the noise levels would elevate in Urbanville until you two twits decided to create an UrboCast. Am I the only one who would prefer to have a V-8? Or better yet, am I the only one here who would prefer to gouge my eyes out, kiss Handsome_UWhantme, and call Scoop my best friend in the world than listen to these insipid casts? When two people love to hear the sound of their own voice that is one thing. When these same people are given an opportunity to record themselves and then blast it to the world, that is a nuclear disaster. There, I said it, a nuclear disaster. They claim that they are giving the news but when you are dealing with ignorant listeners, they are too dense to realize that your news is biased. Anyone who knows anything about news knows that the best news is unbiased and straight to the point, unless it is an editorial. Feh. Afro_Chic and J_Trane I am happy that you have a following and I congratulate your success, but before I can call myself a fan, your UrboCasts must be something other than inane jokes and sleazy euphemisms. Stop catering to the lowest common denominator and challenge the minds of Urbanville's citizens. It will be tough, but you can do it. I cannot say that I have faith in you because I do not.

Feh,

The Masked Editor

P.S. Your little venue will never replace the Chronicles. Ever.
I Quit
I Quit

That's right, I am saying that I quit. I am not doing it any more. I refuse
to be a part of it anymore.

Don't even ask me why, or what happened to cause this, but just know...

I quit reading any thread that says I quit, I am leaving, I am taking my
toys and going home.

For real, it is a complete waste of space and time. I want all those 30
seconds back where I read what you had posted. You never leave. You always
comeback to see who asked for you to stay.

I've yet to see someone who actually walked away, and say they were doing
it, stay away from the site.

You are not cool, no matter how many people asked you to stay. It is boring
and brings a negative vibe to the forums...

That's all I can say on that PEACE OUT!

Nurb off - BDIB,
J_Trane
>> Top Stories
The Second Urbolympics

This is Enaki, creator of the first Urbolympics here, to tell you that we're back! It's been a while, but the stadium is being prepared for all the great events we have for you in The Second Urbolympics! We have our classic events, such as Beatbot Boogie, Vicious Flip Out, Roof Ruckus and more. But we NOW have brand new events, such as Smell My Fart, Wedgie Toss 2, DJ Says, Which Way Is Up, and even much more!

And as always, The Urbolympics is a Team Event, where you can have 4 Members to your team, and 2 replacement members in case of emergency. We also have grand prizes to the winners of this contest, but we'll tell more about that later on. Our ranking system is still the same, which is 1st Place: Gold, 2nd Place: Silver, 3rd Place: Bronze, 4th Place: Chrome, and 5th Place: Plastic, but if we see a LOT more teams than we did last year, we may (and I mean MAY) add a SIXTH or even SEVENTH place division which may replace Gold and Silver: Diamond & Platinum (Since they are more valuable than Gold and Silver in real life). As soon as this hits the Chronicles, check the Challenges Area for the beginning of the Urbolympics. Here, you can register your team and place your team name. And please note that you do NOT have to be apart of an organization to join the Urbolympics, all you have to do is find 4-5 other people, decide on a team name, and enter your team into the Urbolympics!

The best part of the Urbolympics is that you DON'T have to be powerful to win this contest, all you have to do is be REALLY good at the games here in Urbaniacs to win! The rules and regulations will be presented in the Challenges section of the forums.

That's all to say for now, so get ready to play, and prepare your teams for competition! See you there!

Sincerely, Enaki Renraku
>> Comics
Rood Boyz
Hiiiiiies...

I m gettin tired of all the rood boyz on the site. ur going 2 drive me
insains. Even without Poiny in my life, i no what good man is like and
telling me that i look good and have nice thingies is not the way 2 swoooo
me. i m turning people n who say things that are rood. i hope all the
other lovely ladies do the same. and i guess u guys can do the same. tee
hee.

TRANSLATION

I'm getting tired of all the rude boys on the site. You are going to drive me insane. Even without Poindexter in my life, I know what a good man is like and telling me that I look good and have nice thingies is not the way to "sway" me. I'm turning people in who say things that are rude. I hope all the other lovely ladies do the same and I guess you guys can do the same. Tee hee.


NOTE FROM THE OFFICE OF THE MASKED EDITOR:

Remember, grammar is our friend. It is not the enemy. No more translations, pick up a grammar for pete's sake!
>> Ask Handsome
Geek on the Run
Dear Handsome,

I am a gentleman of the nerdly persuasion with a deep concern for you see there is a vivacious vixen who has tried to sink her claws into me due to my potential income. How can I tell her to leave me be for this is turning into a fatal Urb attraction.

Graciously Yours,

Geek on the Run


Dear Geek on the Run,

Handsome has a hard time understanding something. You see, Handsome never has a problem with a Lady wanting to spend time with him. If you are having a problem with this Lady, you can give her to Handsome, because Handsome will make sure she forgets you. No Lady can resist Handsome and honestly Handsome doesn't understand how a Nerd could have a problem with a sweet sweet Lady wanting him. There isn't any advice here for having a Lady is never a problem unless there is a paternity test involved.

Who's Your Daddy? That's right, ME!

Handsome U. Whantme
>> Business
Diary of a Nerd
Each day it is the same schedule; I wake up, go to my lab, work on experiments, and plot hours upon hours. Often I wonder if this is how Goatfist got his start for if it is, I should be very careful about turning myself into a goat. As the days progress only one name ceases all my experiments and plotting: Puncherjoe. He has the brawn but my cranium packs a intellectual punch. I will thwart all of his heroic attempts if it's the last thing I do.

Precisely Yours,

Poindexter
Interview with Goddess
*A knock can be heard at the door. *

Summers: Come in.

*Goddess enters the room with a smile on her face.*

Goddess: I hear you wanted to do an interview with me. My time is limited but I'd always take time for a family member.

Summers: Awesome, well have a seat. There is a bottle of water if you need it.

*Goddess takes a seat and opens the bottle of water.*

Summers: For those who are reading can you state your name your rank?

Goddess: Goddess_de_Nocturne, just call me Goddess.

Summers: What made you decide to take over leader of the villains?

Goddess: Well I'm working with the Family to bring the funk back and end the drama.

Summers: What are some of the changes you have made?

Goddess: I am giving the Family input and making decisions for our future not just the moment. In the situation we are in nothing happens overnight. My suggestion to everyone is, patience people.

Summers: Since you are the first female leader, do you feel you've encountered more opposition?

Goddess: I am actually surprised at the lack of opposition. I think I have my Systers to thank for that. They have been really supportive and would probably crush anyone who even thought of slandering me. I have also tried a different approach. I don't want to be a tyrannical leader. I care about what people have to say and take their thoughts into consideration when making decisions.

Summers: Since you became VVL, you've been the most outspoken. How have you been dealing with suggestions from other villains?

Goddess: I am trying to listen to every suggestion with an open mind. Some ideas are not so good for the Family in general or the site. I am not running a dictatorship, but I have to make good decisions that benefit everyone. Sometimes it is not the easiest thing to do, nor am I very popular for it. I am doing my best and learning as I go.

Summers: What are your plans to bring the funk back into the family and still have them keep their evil ways?

Goddess: This is the hardest part and the area where I get the least input. Everyone wants domination and destruction. We have few choices in actions that we can actually take against our foes, but I'm working on it. An infusion of new members will help a lot. My first challenge to the Family is to bring in new people. We need new ideas that can only come from a fresh perspective.

Summers: What are some of the positive things you see in the future for the family?

Goddess: A Family devoted to evilness, supported by several dispositions. All of us working together to control the town and find the balance of our "evil funk."

Summers: What are your thoughts on the LoD?

Goddess: I wish them well. Outlaw was a very promising LOS member and it was a shame he left. We all have our own paths to follow, his wasn't with the Family.

Summers: What would you like to see from other dispos?

Goddess: Quit complaining or stating that the villains don't do anything. Stop saying what have you done lately? Place bigger better challenge to us as a dispo in some way...

Summers: At one time you were thinking about coming up with a new title for the VVL. Have you decided on a new name?

Goddess: Nope still working on it. Do you have any suggestions?

Summers: Not at this time but I'll keep it in the back of my mind. Maybe I can come up with something.

Summers: What made you decide to change the title?

Goddess: What girl wants to have the word Vile associated with them?

Summers: What words of encouragement do you have for the aspiring LoS members waiting to become family?

Goddess: Work hard, we do notice you. Right now things are kind of crazy. Your loyalty will be rewarded. Be proud of your choices and know that the Family does appreciate you.

Summers: Recently I started a forum to get a new sign off for GoatFist. What are your thoughts on it and do you think he will actually pick one of them?

Goddess: I have my favorites of the ones posted so far, I laughed really hard at "Bleat This." I think if someone comes up with something really original he might actually use it. He is in serious need of new material.