Forgot Password? Remember Me

Issue 107

Oct 7, 2007

Submit A Story!

Got an Urbaniac story, comic strip or anything else newsworthy or funny?

Send it our way!

Issues

Issue 209

Issue 208

Issue 207

Issue 206

Issue 205

Issue 204

Issue 203

Issue 202

Issue 201

Issue 200

Issue 199

Issue 198

Issue 197

Issue 196

Issue 195

Issue 194

Issue 193

Issue 192

Issue 191

Issue 190

Issue 189

Issue 188

Issue 187

Issue 186

Issue 185

Issue 184

Issue 183

Issue 182

Issue 181

Issue 180

Issue 179

Issue 178

Issue 177

Issue 176

Issue 175

Issue 174

Issue 173

Issue 172

Issue 171

Issue 170

Issue 169

Issue 168

Issue 167

Issue 166

Issue 165

Issue 164

Issue 163

Issue 162

Issue 161

Issue 160

Issue 159

Issue 158

Issue 157

Issue 156

Issue 155

Issue 154

Issue 153

Issue 152

Issue 151

Issue 150

Issue 149

Issue 148

Issue 147

Issue 146

Issue 145

Issue 144

Issue 143

Issue 142

Issue 141

Issue 140

Issue 139

Issue 138

Issue 137

Issue 136

Issue 135

Issue 134

Issue 133

Issue 132

Issue 131

Issue 130

Issue 129

Issue 128

Issue 127

Issue 126

Issue 125

Issue 124

Issue 123

Issue 122

Issue 121

Issue 120

Issue 119

Issue 118

Issue 117

Issue 116

Issue 115

Issue 114

Issue 113

Issue 112

Issue 111

Issue 110

Issue 109

Issue 108

Issue 107

Issue 106

Issue 105

Issue 104

Issue 103

Issue 102

Issue 101

Issue 100

Issue 99

Issue 98

Issue 97

Issue 96

Issue 95

Issue 94

Issue 93

Issue 92

Issue 91

Issue 90

Issue 89

Issue 88

Issue 87

Issue 86

Issue 85

Issue 84

Issue 83

Issue 82

Issue 81

Issue 80

Issue 79

Issue 78

Issue 77

Issue 76

Issue 75

Issue 74

Issue 73

Issue 72

Issue 71

Issue 70

Issue 69

Issue 68

Issue 67

Issue 66

Issue 65

Issue 64

Issue 63

Issue 62

Issue 61

Issue 60

Issue 59

Issue 58

Issue 57

Issue 56

Issue 55

Issue 54

Issue 53

Issue 52

Issue 51

Issue 50

Issue 49

Issue 48

Issue 47

Issue 46

Issue 45

Issue 44

Issue 43

Issue 42

Issue 41

Issue 40

Issue 39

Issue 38

Issue 37

Issue 36

Issue 35

Issue 34

Issue 33

Issue 32

Issue 31

Issue 30

Issue 29

Issue 28

Issue 27

Issue 26

Issue 25

Issue 24

Issue 23

Issue 22

Issue 21

Issue 20

Issue 19

Issue 18

Issue 17

Issue 16

Issue 15

Issue 14

Issue 13

Issue 12

Issue 11

Issue 10

Issue 9

Issue 8

Issue 7

Issue 6

Issue 5

Issue 4

Issue 3

Issue 2

Issue 1

>> Top Stories
Bank Interest
Recently I was elected Deputy Mayor of the fine city of Urbanville. I promised action during the election and here we are, barely a week later, and changes are happening.

You may have noticed that the bank is no longer offering its sweet heart rate of 10% on your savings accounts, instead offering a still better than normal 7%. I know this isn't the sort of change most people would ask for, but in the long run I think it will become obvious that what we're doing is the right thing for all Urbaniacs.

The simple way of explaining why this rate change occurred is this; it had become too easy to get rich in Urbanville. I remember back when I was just a noob, fresh out of law school, starting without any gear or sense of purpose. There was no bank to save money in and there were a lot less ways to make Urbos. It was a great accomplishment every time you saved enough to buy an item, you really felt excited that you'd managed to finally buy that item that was a little out of your price range. I had to play every game every day, sometimes for weeks before I could afford to get some of my early gear. It was one of the things that made the site so fun.

We're not going all the way back to that set of circumstances, there are lots more games with higher earning limits now, and we still have a bank paying interest on your urbos. However we at City Hall felt we had to scale back just how easy it had become. Getting every item you want within your first month on the site sounds great, but once you've got everything, what else is there to look forward to? See, making it too easy leads to that situation where suddenly you have nothing to aspire for on the site and then it just gets boring for a lot of people. Boring is something we are constantly trying to prevent in Urbanville. It's the number 1 killer of Urbaniacs after all.

Things like this aren't easy for us in City Hall to decide to do, but we have to make tough decisions about what is best for Urbanville in the long run, even if people don't like them in the short term. We'll continue to execute a long term plan that assures Urbanville will continues to grow. Hopefully every citizen will be able to see that it's for the best.

So look at the bright side of the current issue; most Urbaniacs got to take advantage of an amazing interest rate for a nice long while, and hopefully they used it to save up some urbos for a rainy day.
Congratulations
Congratulations, mad props, and a big Urbaniacs welcome are in order for the recently appointed Mistress of Funk. You may know her as Afro_Chic, and you've seen her work our city. Now Afro_Chic is an official member of the Urbaniacs Team, helping out with a lot of behind the scenes work and making a lot of positive contributions to the site experience overall. Feel free to ask her any questions. Like Mayor_DaMan, Synjen, and Jenq, she'll be an impartial player working for better funknitude in our fair city. Thanks to the Mistress of Funk, there will be some big changes coming soon. Feel free to send her an Urbogram and test her knowledge of Urbanville. Stay tuned for more, keep it funky, and Urb ON!

DaMan
Urbanville City Council Ad
September Rap Battles
The September Rap Battles ended with a volley of verbal attacks, a battle of skill and will, hard rhymes and punch lines, and I have to say, I enjoyed each and every post!

Quite obviously some could not take the pressure and had to bow out in the final round, either that, or got royally clowned.

This left 4 outstanding entrants:

Breaker who got the ball rolling, and held nothing back.

Gizmo_Tracer, a lyrical genius, who favors attack.

Kali_Maa, my home girl, leaving all others in mourning.

And Afro_Chic whose lyrics were preceded with a warning.

Unfortunately, there can be only one winner of the Homeboy trophy, and it goes to a returning champion:

Gizmo_Tracer


Congratulations, take a bow, and receive your accolades. 2nd and 3rd were EXTREMELY hard to pick, as all 4 rhymers were exceptional, however not everyone can win a prize.

2nd place goes to a verbally venomous Afro_Chic.

Finally 3rd place goes to a person whose final lines made me smile and laugh, Kali_Maa.

Congratulations to all that made it to the final round, every last one of you is a winner in my book.
The Urbanville 12: Part 8


The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #1
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #2
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #3
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Clue #4
The Urbanville 12: Part 8: Results
>> Business
Like Me Series: The Wrap Up
Due to my new job and the fact that I am no longer a part of the Hustle Alliance, I feel that it’s time to wrap up my Like Me series. Boy did I have a lot of fun! I also received a lot of bruises and threats, but it’s all good! I learned a lot from my weekly adventures. Here’s a list of some of them:

1. Urbanville Men are disgusting but when there aren’t any women around, they are down right, straight up NASTY!

2. Little kids have very good memories. Da Man’s kid still hasn’t talked to me and that’s after a few trips to Funk’s Depot and a pet Henchling. Sheesh!

3. Jenny Laws are grumpy because they have to wear high heel shoes and extra tight skirts while living in a cult-like situation and being forced to wait on Johnny Laws hand and foot. Pfft! Someone call a Women’s Liberation group! We have some work to do!

4. Never trust a big butt and a smile cuz that girl is poison! *thinks* No wait, Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me that.

5. The females in the Family truly run the group and are quite evil...Until you trip them down a flight of stairs. Then they become funny bouncing objects of entertainment. *giggles*

6. The Masked_Editor is obsessed with the Wizard of Oz because like the Wizard, he’s nothing but a big head filled with hot air that hides a little insignificant man behind it.

7. Sidekicks are people too, yo, and if they feel that you goin’ overboard, ya needs to listen! Sometimes ya gets wrapped up in your own craziness to realize ya needs help!!

*slaps Preston’s hands away from the keyboard*

Cute. Very cute, Chico! *rolls eyes*

Anyways, I enjoyed my time learning about how the “others” live in Urbanville. Who knows? I may pick this series up in the future, much to Preston’s chagrin!

*winks*

Affy
>> Politics
GoatFist Unmasked?

Click Me!
>> Comics
The good, the bad and...Everything in between


Good news: 8 out of 10 Urbaniacs hope to feel the funk some day.

Bad news: There's only one Mistress of FUNK in this town and she is rocking one sexy body.
The Hep Cat Chill Spot
Ending Message
*As you read this weeks Chronicles the page turn black. From the blackness of this page an image of agentdeath shows is this sign, a warning. or a message. It means agentdeath is about to do something big beyond his normal condition. Before you close it the image of agentdeath loops the sentence "Your end has come." You quickly turn the page back only to find this was truly a message of death and destruction.*