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Issue 106

Oct 1, 2007

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>> Top Stories
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Results




Only 3 made da cut! But at least she was caught!

Scoop
The Urbanville 12: Part 7
TLE...DeBoned!
On Sept 29th, The Legal Eagle was declared Urbanville's first Deputy Mayor. Two days later, he was already so overwhelmed; he had to appeal to the masses for trash talking material. Seems as though Turkey Butt is no longer able to handle his arch-nemesis; not that he ever could handle the hottest coolest chirp in Urbanville whom we all affectionately call Affy.

Taking an extremely abbreviated look back at the mayoral debate, there were ominous signs foreshadowing this performance pressure issue.

When asked what topics where most welcome in the forums, the TLE had this to say:

I think it comes down to a thread by thread basis.

If that's not passing the buck, then I don't know what is. On the issue of treating each disposition evenly:

I don't see it needing to happen often.

This bodes ill for Urbanville to say the least! How did this guy win? On to the next! Asked how to go about achieving the perfect Urbanville, TLE responded:

It's not an easy problem so there isn't an easy solution honestly.

Even the villains can't be confident with that answer. And did he say "honestly"? Yes he did! To the question of how to keep citizens in Urbanville to stay put and be active, TLE replied:

I think that having incentives for players that stick around is a good way to approach things...

Well no duh! Thanks for the insight Mr. Deputy Mayor. Goatfist showed up at the debate asking if the deputy mayor is going to be the Mayor's lapdog. TLE responded:

I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

Hmm, did the great bird of Urb just call himself a dog? One issue that was raised had to do with the number of villains running for the position as opposed to just one hero that the "good guys" could unite behind. If the villains couldn't come to a consensus within their own ranks, how will they unite Urbanville? TLE's thoughts on this were:

I think this sort of situation works itself out.

That display of brain power was truly staggering! Moving right along, Affy wanted to know if TLE would cease his attempts to end her existence in Urbanville.

Yes Afro_Chic, I will cease all attempts to END your existence.

That statement made in a public forum is binding, by the way. When asked about the issue of the Johnny Laws forcing grannies to cross streets when they're just hangin' on the corner, TLE had this to say:

...

Apparently that question stumped him. On how he will keep the Arts District buzzing:

I don't see why it should get special attention.

For some reason I can see turkey butt graffiti spreading across the city in the near future. When asked about the temptation to abuse power, TLE said:

...it depends.

Nice one. On the issue of the Deputy Mayor renouncing their alliances in the interest of fairness, the TLE admitted:

I'm merely a historically based honorary member.

I believe that means he's history. Heheh. As for a favorite ice cream flavor? TLE had this to reveal:

I'm old school into heavenly hash.

Sounds illegal to me. On to the trivia portion of the debate. Here are TLE's choices:

Lost over Heroes
Old School over New School
Blondie over Madonna
Originals over Remakes
Flango over Flingo


Well that was predictable. Scoop swooped in and wanted to know how to chill folks out and keep them in Urbanville. TLE replied:

... it is on the people leaving themselves.

Again, predictable. Next there was the question about women's rights as far as making designer gear available for the ladies. TLE said:

I can see the complaint.

That almost sounds like an insult, does it not? When asked what aspect made Urbanville the place to be for him, TLE responded with:

It was a super hero themed site, and I dig on that whole concept.

The truth comes out!

For the full debate, drop by the Mayor's office:
http://www.urbaniacs.com/city/lounge.php?t=239989
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #1
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #2
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #3
The Urbanville 12: Part 7: Clue #4
>> Ask Handsome
Love, the Final Frontier?
Salutations Handsome,

At the present moment I am infatuated with a member of the opposite gender. I sense that this member of the opposite gender is the Uhura to my Captain Kirk minus the racial roles. Handsome your assistance in my approach is wholly preferred.

Klingon Master


Dear Klingon Master,

Handsome doesn’t know where to begin. Who is this Captain Kirk and who is this Uhura? Is she a fine Lady? Would Handsome like to get his hands on her? The Masked Editor has informed me that both of these characters were on a show called “Star Trek.” Sorry, when the show was on, Handsome was too busy entertaining his girlfriends on the playground.

Do you want this Lady? Does she make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Handsome has this effect on the Ladies. Handsome suggests that you sweet talk your Lady. If she is the type of Lady who grooves to the sweet sounds of Klingon being whispered in her ears then my brother, Kling On, Kling On. Find the language that will make your Lady weak in her limbs and let it flow.

Finally, the best way to get your Lady is to spend more time talking to her and less time with your t.v.

Live Long and Love On,

Handsome U. Whantme

Disclaimer: Handsome U. Whantme is NOT a licensed psychologist! He's just a man who has too much time on his hands and advice to hand out. If you want to write him, send all questions to [email protected] Make sure that you put "Ask Handsome" in the subject field.
>> Comics
The good, the bad and...Everything in between


Good news: 6 out of 10 Urbaniacs remain active players on this site.


Bad news: Those 4 people that decided to leave are missed by (the rest of) us and they need to be told that they took part of the site with them when they left.
Community Happenings!

Because the forums can be quite overwhelming, check out what's Happening in your Community!


The Lounge:

Contest

Although the caper of what happened to the Kitty diva is now over, BloodDrop wants to know if you all can guess what the cure was supposed to be! Can you guess? If you can, she has a 20,000 urbos award for you!

Urbanville Streets:

Get an arch enemy

M_dude would like to know if you are having trouble finding an arch-nemesis because if you are, then he has the perfect thread for you! He’s offering a free for all for those who find themselves without that perfect person to diss on a regular basis.

The Mayor's Office:

Congratulations TLE!

He’s the only lawyer in town and now he’s Deputy Mayor! How about you step by his new office to wish him good luck!

The Arts District:

Hep Cat Chill Spot

Affy is opening up a new spot for all of her homeys! Her new place is open for all...Well all except for “The Man” who she swears up and down isn’t The Mayor! So if you’re not filled with drama, go for a visit and tell Data 3.0 that the Chronicles Staff said hello!

That's it for now! We can't read everything for you. The forums are filled with interesting threads, we're just here to wet your whistles!

Maybe next week we'll showcase your thread, maybe not. If you feel that you have something worth showcasing send an urbogram to the Masked_Editor.

The Chronicles Staff